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Kelli Jae Baeli

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Home→Published 2011 → May

Monthly Archives: May 2011

Regrettable Profile of the Day: "In My Late Fourty"

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 31, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

This is an actual profile on a dating site for LESBIANS.  My self-summary IM IN MY LATE FOURTY I HAVE BLUE EYES 6 FOOT AND WAS MARRIED FOR 13 YEARS AND LOST MY SPOUSE IN 09 AND IM EASY GOING WOMAN LOOKING FOR A FRIEND FIRST AND THEN A LONG TERM RELACTION SHIPAND HAVE NOT BEEN WITH ANYONE IN OVER ABOUT 2 YEARS AND LOVE TO GET OUT AND START DATING AND ENJOY MY NEW LIFE AND SEE WHAT PATH IM ON AND LOOKING FOR A SWEETMAN AND LAID BACK I LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC AND I LIKE PRO FOOTBALL BRONCOS … Continue reading →

Posted in ignorance, personal ads, RELATIONSHIPS, profiles, spelling, quirks, diction, lesbians, bad writing, Internet, SEXUALITY, PSYCHOLOGY, Social Psychology, annoying people, ENTERTAINMENT, disillusionment, BRAIN, HUMOR, Stupidity, Sociology, dating, harsh realities, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, life, self-awareness, EMOTIONS, WRITING CRAFT | Leave a reply

The Truth about Cats & Fire

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 30, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliDecember 7, 2011

I recently discovered that cats are not flammable. Now, before you call PETA and leave nasty comments, let me point out that this knowledge was gathered through an unfortunate incident involving a fluffy tail and an otherwise innocent candle. My cat, Biscuit made the mistake of swishing her tail over the triple wick flames of a Hazelnut cream candle, and POOF! her tail was ablaze, and as i reached for her, as she jumped atop a shelf by my computer, i realized the flame had already gone out. I had to chase her though the house, trying to find out … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, cats | Tagged candles, fire | Leave a reply

Acrocat Monkey

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 28, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMay 28, 2011

Monkey did the funniest thing. She was living up to her name again. It might be a little hard to explain, since i didn’t have my iPhone in my pocket and didn’t get a picture of it…by the time it happened, i didn’t even know it was going to be picture-worthy. So, here’s the scene: my washer and dryer is in a closet space with folding doors. I opened the left one to check the clothes in the dryer, and she slithered into the space between the washer and the door, and on to the side, another tiny space between … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, Monkey, cats | 2 Replies

Father, no–Brother

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 26, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMay 26, 2011

I had been asleep only four hours when I woke up crying. A dream. I was at some kind of family gathering, a reunion, perhaps. I was stocking some refreshments, but I was being paid to work at this place.  (I haven’t done that kind of work in 20 years). From my peripheral vision, i saw a man walk in, and something compelled me to take a good look at him. It was my father.  My dead father. No, it was my brother, who looked just like him, now. I hadn’t seen my brother in something like 13 years. He … Continue reading →

Posted in mother, family, betrayal, death, grief | Tagged brother, father | Leave a reply

Bell Ringing

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 20, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMay 20, 2011

One of my Achilles heels is that I have an underlying suspicion that i am incapable of falling in love again. I mean, researchers have told us that the chemical condition of being in love is analogous to OCD–being in love means you’re obsessed and obsession is fraught with problems, and not very healthy. You make bad decisions based on those chemicals, and not on what is actually true… So I’ve been, in recent years, going for the other facets of a good long term relationship–security, dependability, good communication, a shared sense of humor, begin treated well, being friends,  cultivating … Continue reading →

Posted in RELATIONSHIPS, romance, love | Tagged bells | Leave a reply

Send Matches or UPS

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 16, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliNovember 29, 2011

Still, I’m not writing. What is wrong with me? I try, but then nothing comes out. And yes, I’m writing this blog, but it’s not what i mean by “writing.” For me, writing means writing A BOOK. Nothing has ever kept me from writing. Nothing. No One. Ever. Never. Nada, zip zero, zilch. After authoring 22 books, and having about 7 in various stages of completion, it’s not like this is usually an issue for me. So what’s my problem? Was it that train wreck of a last relationship i just came out of? (Escaped from, would be more accurate. … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, WRITING CRAFT, open relationships, Paid Sexual Companion, WRITING LIFE | Leave a reply

To Be or Not to Be

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 7, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliDecember 5, 2011

Damaged people live among us. They deny, they lament, they scream, and think no one hears them. So they self-medicate, create grand illusions of fictive comfort, and when those fictions fail them, then finally, they descend into the abyss of helpless despair. When we hear our elders speak of “the good ol’ days”–we mustn’t dismiss the significance of those simpler times. They matter, because all those hordes of damaged people would have been fine in 1952, but now, they have to deal with chaos and war and complications and the economy and drugs and challenge and an ever-increasing onslaught of … Continue reading →

Posted in Shakespeare, despair, strength, Human Nature | Tagged global village, damage | Leave a reply

Review of "Armchair Detective" in Kissed by Venus

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 6, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliDecember 13, 2015

Title: ARMCHAIR DETECTIVE Author: Kelli Jae Baeli Publisher: Lesbian Literati Press ISBN-13: 978-1499178425 Rating: 4.5 Stars Genre: Detective/Romance Jobeth O’Brien awakens on the floor of her kitchen, her battered face and the memory of an angry visitor tells her that she is close to something important in her investigation. In between this surveillance and delivering newspapers, her beloved 62 Falcon is the scene of middle-of-the-night romps with a lonely socialite, who gives her more than she bargained for. Her quest for the truth pits her against errant husbands, a modern-day madam with a taste for blood, a horny landlady, a … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction, Book Reviews, lesbian literature, Armchair Detective | Tagged Kissed by Venus | Leave a reply

The Biggest Lies of All

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 1, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMay 1, 2011

Up until the day it truly ended, I believed that she was just overwhelmed with things and not strong enough to pull herself out of the abyss. I believed that circumstances beyond our control poisoned all the water in the relationship well. That she lost herself somewhere along the way.  I excused this, even though there should have been a limit to how much she let other people control her happiness and ability to function. I tried not to judge her harshly, but just be supportive, even amid my own fears and unhappiness. Now, with the new information, it’s different … Continue reading →

Posted in RELATIONSHIPS, love, betrayal, liars | Leave a reply

Quotes from Kelli Jae Baeli

"Gay people exist because straight people have sex. So if you are straight and don't like gay people, then stop having sex."

Politics Quotes

"People feel removed from sexism. 'I'm not a sexist, but I'm not a feminist.' They think there's this fuzzy middle ground. There's no fuzzy middle ground. You either believe that women are people or you don't. It's that simple." (Joss Whedon)

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“Write. Rewrite. When not writing or rewriting, read. I know of no shortcuts.” ~Larry L. King, WD

Word of the Day

veldtvelt the open country, bearing grass, bushes, or shrubs, or thinly forested, characteristic of parts of southern Africa.

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Justin- "I'm not a child. I'm turning 18 soon. That means I can vote, and get married, and join the army."
Emmett- "Hopefully not on the same day."
~from Queer as Folk

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