Some years ago I was invited to a Barbie-Party. This other couple I know has one foofy member who likes to throw theme parties, and this was the one that had some impact on my life…(as absurd at that sounds).

One of the gifts she gave out to us was our own personal set of Barbie Cutlery. It was bright pink, made of thick, durable plastic, and I took it home with me and found that after I used it a few times, I didn’t want to use anything else…

Perhaps I should explain that I have this little quirk–I hate the sound of metal cutlery on plates and teeth. It gives me the same reaction as someone who wads up some foil and chews it. Invisible multi-legged critters traverse my spine, and I am stricken with some sort of seizure that makes me avoid the situation in the future.

So, when I realized how useful it was to have plastic cutlery that didn’t break off in your bite of steak, but that also didn’t make those horrible scritching and skerking noises, I was REBORN. Eventually I lost this set of fine utensils in a move and couldn’t find them anywhere.

Recently, though I was tooling down the sale aisle in Wal-Mart, and there they were–tube upon tube of Barbie Cutlery….They were only 60 cents each, and I nabbed about 4 tubes, which turned out to be about 20 of each piece.

I can’t tell you the ridiculous joy I get from using these.

And yes, I use them for company, too.

Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.