..a cautionary tale. Maybe.

One of my ex girlfriends has this weird and rare condition where her cerebellum is drooping down too far and impinging on the brain stem. For real. It’s called Chiari.

Now for a long time, even before this diagnosis, I discovered that I didn’t want to talk to her anymore because every conversation consisted of her condescending to me at every turn. Gone was that delightful, brilliant young woman who so fascinated me with her thoughts on things…she had become sort of…well, an arrogant prick. (sorry).

For more insight on this, see Phone a Friend.

I put up with it during the last slew of phone calls, because she was telling me about her brain condition, and i felt genuine sympathy. I’m not a heartless bastard. Though I wasn’t sure what to say. We hadn’t seen each other in something like 7 years, and I only periodically talked to her on the phone or email. But as time went on, I was reminded again that I always felt like she was judging everything I said. Just an overweening disrespect in general. Well this haughtiness will only go on so long, brain condition or not, before I say good luck, bye bye. During our last conversation, I kind of reached my breaking point, and unloaded on her, telling her I was really not happy with the way she spoke to me, and i made sure I fully explained why i felt that way, and I said, “Do you talk to everyone like this, or is it just me?” She hung up on me.

A week later, she called, but I didn’t answer. Just couldn’t get sucked into that black hole again. And then she emailed, asking for some favor. Like nothing happened. No mention of having hung up on me, or being an ass–nothing. Whatever, Becky.

So the best I can do is chalk it up to still another person who seems mean or damaged or otherwise unpleasant to have in your life. And after that, I tend to just make jokes about it. Like, she can’t help it, her brain is falling out of her head. I know it’s not supposed to be funny, and maybe it’s awful of me to joke about it, but dark realities sometimes need to be used as fodder for humor, because otherwise we’d all just be blubbering and wailing through this life. I don’t think she’s behaving that way because of her condition, either. I think it’s just who she’s become. For lots of reasons I won’t go into here.

BUT. If I had that condition, I’d milk it. I’d do all those things that are inappropriate and blame it on the fact that my brain was falling out of my head.