Category Archives: problem-solving

Workspaces & Tentacle Sex I've got a lot on the docket right now

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Since my surgery at the end of May, I have had to accommodate my recovery, while still getting my work done. The whole thing has made me feel old and decrepit. Our bedroom is now in the living room because it was just easier to put everything in one room. Especially after we realized the landlords weren’t going to cut down the dead trees and falling limbs just outside our wall of windows in the bedroom. We didn’t feel safe there, so the living room became our new bedroom. Only recently, could I sit in a desk chair as I … Continue reading →

The Quest for a Comfortable Chair What's a special-needs adult to do?

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I fear I must be a special needs child…er…adult… After my military injuries, I was told I’d never walk again. I went from a wheelchair to a scooter, to forearm crutches. Now, I’m walking just fine…except when I’m not. It took years to get myself back on my feet. Now, I have certain limitations that I have always tried to address with clever ergonomic solutions–physical, and otherwise. Ergonomics is not just about efficiency, it’s about comfort. While I always streamline and arrange my workspace to address ease of use, I also must be comfortable, physically. Problem is, my spine doesn’t … Continue reading →

Unmoderated Moderate Attempts Moderation Good communication is less about saying what you mean, and more about defining what you say

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From blog ideas archive…. I got into an unplanned debate on Facebook. Most debates on Facebook are, in fact, unplanned. you know how it is. Most of the time, it begins with some innocent status update of mine, but this time, I started it by responding to something I felt needed clarification. I always feel a need to do that when i think something is being misrepresented or over-simplified. The following exchange was very thought-provoking and I agreed with many of the sensibilities of this poster, but the rub is always in the specifics, the semantics. This sort of debate is … Continue reading →

Colonizing vs. Philosophizing Our planet, our priorities & our politics. It's time we connected the dots.

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From blog-idea archives…. On one of those insipid questions sites, someone asked,  “If something happened to Earth, would you move to another planet?” A few underlying fallacies here. First, if something happened to Earth, you wouldn’t have that choice, so the whole construct of that question falls apart at the beginning. Second, this reasoning is like driving your car until it runs out of gas or breaks down, and then shopping for another one, instead of just maintaining the vehicle properly. Third, not dependant on fossil fuels, we would not be in a battle against climate change, and by extension, fighting … Continue reading →

Why I changed my Pinterest boards to SECRET A lesson that cost me several thousand dollars

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Today I had a revelation. I had forgotten to address a very big problem that had recently applied elsewhere. One I had addressed already in the obvious places, but overlooked for a while. I switched almost all of my Pinterest boards to secret. At first, I was horrified to think I was going to have to delete them all and start over, or cancel my account to prevent a looming disaster. Only recently did Pinterest offer a solution to the legal quagmire they so blithely pied-piper’d us into. By now, you’ve probably guessed I’m referring to copyright infringement. Thankfully, Pinterest … Continue reading →

Nom Nom Nom de Plume (with a side of science and metaphor)

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How delicious. To be someone else. To reinvent oneself. I’m not talking about who you are at your core, but about characteristics that might not be serving you anymore. I’ve done it several times over, and not only with names. As long ago as my early twenties, I began referring to myself and introducing myself to others by another name. Eventually, it led me to legally change it. Psychologically, that was one of the best decisions I ever made for my health. I maintain that the name-change wasn’t running AWAY from something, but running TO. Seeking identity. I wanted to … Continue reading →

Operation Homostead & Dooflingywhatsit Our decision to make homesteading our goal, had to begin with all the preliminaries. Where? When? How?

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While I’m battling The Change of Life, we are also dealing with A Change of Life. Major changes on the horizon, all of which we have chosen for ourselves, which of course, makes it easier to weather. Our decision to make homesteading our goal, had to begin with all the preliminaries. Where? When? How? We know we want to settle in central Wisconsin, mostly because Melissa is from that area, and around Chicago, and her family is all there. She needs to be close to her grandmother, who is well into her 90’s and has had some health scares. But Melissa has … Continue reading →

That Whooshing Sound

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Message in a bottle… After almost two years of struggle with the vicissitudes of Indie writing and publishing, I have, I believe, come up with a solution to all that has been vexing me, and keeping me from reaching the goals I have been working so hard to achieve, and all that has annihilated the joy to be found in the journey. With the new lease on life I got after my return from New Zealand, I have been focused mostly on getting my health back, but also in increasing and maintaining the momentum in my career, which I didn’t … Continue reading →

Policing the Police

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UPDATE: see end of this essay for my updated remarks after learning new information…. Few things are black and white, unless you’re talking about racism. In regard to gun violence and police shootings, there are solid arguments on either side of this contentious issue which tells me once again that the truth is most often found in the middle and that extremism of any kind is both dangerous and counterproductive. Right out of the chute, let me say that I know there are good cops out there. In fact, I believe that MOST cops are honorable, compassionate people who really … Continue reading →

Being a Delicate Organism A Peek into the daily life of an HSP

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Highly Sensitive People are, as the moniker suggests, acutely aware of stimuli. Which is one reason I prefer the designation of Highly Aware Person. HAP. I’m a Hap. A Happy. Sounds much better to me than being called “Highly Sensitive” which carries with it a rather pejorative tint. But HSP is the most commonly used acronym in reference to us, and so I feel a bit obligated to use it. HSPs are often aware of sensory input that others miss. We are about 20% of the population, and this Sensory Processing Sensitivity is found in around 100 other species, as … Continue reading →

Going Mainstream

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CAUTION: FRUSTRATED RANT HOVERING NEARBY. When you find yourself, as a writer, lamenting about why you’re even writing at all, and entertaining the idea of not writing any more, something has to change. I’m growing more and more frustrated with, and weary of, the lack of support from Lesbian Readers for what I want to offer them. I am sick to death of their constant praise of bad writing in the LesFic market, and their unwillingness to demand better, and try anything out of their narrow reading interests. It’s painfully clear that most LesFic Readers have literary blinders, and will … Continue reading →

Reproach Beyond a Dog (poem)

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(I wrote this poem years ago, but now understand even more why this issue is such a big deal for me. As an HSP, certain stimuli is maddening to me, and the barking of a dog is probably the number one thing that will drive me insane…anyway, that issue was the inspiration for this poem. P.S. no animals were harmed in the making of this poem). from Yin & Yang: Poetry & Lyrics From Both Sides of my Disposition   Reproach Beyond A Dog A soothing ritual, nightly enacted; a process habitual, rightly exacted: book on her chest, rum tea … Continue reading →

Stupid, Honorable, High-Road Seeking Fool

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In a post from a few years ago (two posts, actually, under Going to Denver Because You’re Dead) I chronicled this transition of moving to Colorado to start a new life; again reinventing myself, with the hope of somehow finding my new place in this ever-changing, ever-challenging world.  I got rid of three-quarters of everything i owned, packed a U-Haul trailer behind my Cherryot, and off I went. A journey that lasted 30 hours on many days of little sleep. By the time I arrived in Denver, i was exhausted, lost, and had this sensation of being on another planet. … Continue reading →

The Fourth Betrayal

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NOTE: So, in my seeking help when i needed it, for my recent betrayals and abandonments, the counselor i went to see called the next day to inform me she couldn’t see me anymore and for a really stupid reason. I tried to reason with her on the phone, but she had to stand by what she felt was her principals, but which was only LOFTY IDEAS getting in the way of her ability to give the actual care she had sworn to as a medical professional. Finally frustrated beyond words and feeling even worse, i hung up on her. … Continue reading →

Mid-Life Crisis, Much?

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Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. ~Dylan Thomas If aging is hard for the average person, imagine how hard it is for someone who has no current social circle, no family, no children, who works at home, is an HSP, an atheist, and a single lesbian. The greatest of these challenges is, for me, being without a partner. I am not suited to singlehood. I hate everything about it. I need someone to cook dinner for when she comes home … Continue reading →