Category Archives: cats

The Truth about Cats & Fire

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I recently discovered that cats are not flammable. Now, before you call PETA and leave nasty comments, let me point out that this knowledge was gathered through an unfortunate incident involving a fluffy tail and an otherwise innocent candle. My cat, Biscuit made the mistake of swishing her tail over the triple wick flames of a Hazelnut cream candle, and POOF! her tail was ablaze, and as i reached for her, as she jumped atop a shelf by my computer, i realized the flame had already gone out. I had to chase her though the house, trying to find out … Continue reading →

Acrocat Monkey

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Monkey did the funniest thing. She was living up to her name again. It might be a little hard to explain, since i didn’t have my iPhone in my pocket and didn’t get a picture of it…by the time it happened, i didn’t even know it was going to be picture-worthy. So, here’s the scene: my washer and dryer is in a closet space with folding doors. I opened the left one to check the clothes in the dryer, and she slithered into the space between the washer and the door, and on to the side, another tiny space between … Continue reading →

Trauma Biscuit

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Discovered that the private garage at my new place is very small. I felt I should maybe fold my side mirrors in, or rub Vaseline on the side of the Cherryot. I did get it pulled in without losing any paint, but hoped I would learn the skill that sardines know. Got everything inside, and discovered that Biscuit was nowhere to be found. I had been so careful. I even closed the garage door after I pulled in, carried her inside, and watched her dart into the apartment to hide, as usual. She has been so traumatized by this. But … Continue reading →

EXTENDED STRESS Hotel.

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My Cherryot was loaded to capacity, with the things I thought I’d need for two months, until an apartment became available.   At Extended Stay, I checked in with desk clerk–started to unload, and had to take several things up first (5 trips in elevator) before I noticed that there was a luggage cart in front with a tattooed guy leaning on it talking to another guy. “Oh a luggage cart!” I said. “I need that.” He said he only had a couple of things and rushed off to get his task done so I could have it. Meantime, I … Continue reading →

Vamoosing

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Suspended my Netflix account. Still packing, desperately needing boxes. Downstairs, I pulled up everything in that storage room, which was the contents brought so far from storage when I actually thought I was going to be living here permanently, and her mother had finally moved, so I could do that. But only after we had ripped up the carpet down there and cleaned the unbelievable nastiness her mother lived in. bleach fumes, up and down stairs, aching body. I realized I would have to leave some things behind because it wouldn’t fit in my car or in storage, and I … Continue reading →

Conversations With my Cats–#1 in a series

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So i sat down in my desk chair, and biscuit comes up, with her feather-duster tail conducting some silent orchestra, and i pet her. She lets me do that now, more than she did before. But then she eventually pulls away. “See?’ I say to her. “You realize it’s not so bad to have that affection, but you still can’t help it. I don’t know where that comes from because I’ve had you since you were an itty bitty kitty, and you’ve always been safe and nothing bad has ever happened to you. So i guess it’s about that nature … Continue reading →

Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys

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  [this is a writing exercise I do, wherein I take a list of unrelated subjects and phrases in my files (or through suggestions from readers) and try to connect them in prose…and it’s usually humorous. It also teaches you how to construct segues. The items in this list are, Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys.] so…here we go…. I am a pariah. I know this, though the usual response from my friends to this proclamation is a dismissive, “No you’re not…you’re just rare and wonderful.” Like a good steak. So I’m only good for a food source. One of … Continue reading →

Conversations With my Cats–#1 in a series

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So i sat down in my desk chair, and biscuit comes up, with her feather-duster tail conducting some silent orchestra, and i pet her. She lets me do that now, more than she did before. But then she eventually pulls away. “See?’ I say to her. “You realize it’s not so bad to have that affection, but you still can’t help it. I don’t know where that comes from because i’ve had you since you were an itty bitty kitty, and you’ve always been safe and nothing bad has ever happened to you. So i guess it’s about that nature … Continue reading →

I Don’t Keep Hoardly Anything

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….Looking at the Hoard Mentality Every so often, when I’m doing Spring cleaning, or having guests over I want to impress, I look around and think: Hark! I might be mental. I think I’m a hoarder. I’m reorganizing and cleaning, and everywhere I have things that need a place to go, and then I ask myself, why do I have so many things? I know it is my lack mentality. I did without, and was always broke my whole life, and so now it’s a habit to hang onto things just in case. Every time I had let go of … Continue reading →

Brain Dump: Mortality & Meaning

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Okay, I know this is going to be less a blog, and more a journal entry, but whatever. Consider it the first in a series of brain dumps. <<–Look, i even made a graphic for it…. Onward…. I usually try to see the bright side of things, and when I can’t do that, I try to see the funny side. Anyone who reads this blog knows that. And often the dark side can be funny, if you know how to manipulate the data. But this morning, I think my brain is in some other gear….PARK, maybe. It hits me like … Continue reading →

My Birthday Legacy Rumination

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Today is my birthday. I’ll be 44. (yes, i will! shut up!). And since today is my birthday, I thought I’d do the obligatory ruminations. Who, what, where, when, and why…and how.WHO: My big three identity markers are, Author, Artist, Singer-Songwriter. I’m also an avid blogger, a therapeutic touchist, a webmaster, an armchair philosopher, and….I like cheese. WHAT: Fiction and non-fiction–I have 12 books in print with about 5 more available (I hope) by the end of this year. I like to paint, and do sculpture and pottery. I record CD’s of my original music in my paltry home-studio, and … Continue reading →

I Love My Shoes

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Yesterday, I wrote a blog about Biscuit, my cat who has S.A.D, O.C.D, and B.P.D. and EIEIO… My other cat, Shoes, found out, and was really pissed. I promised her I’d write a blog about her too, so here it goes. Shoes named herself. I saw her little white markings on her feet and thought of “Socks” and Boots” but those were too trite. Then she climbed halfway in one of my shoes and mewed at me and I went. “Oh…Shoes, is it?” So she named herself, and had a way of acting like I was pretty stupid not to … Continue reading →

Mental Biscuit

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After spending a good 16 hours in my basement office, my feet were stinging cold. When I climbed into bed to continue reading my John Varley novel, I kept being distracted by two things—my feet, of course, and my cat, Biscuit. I solved the feet problem by nuking one of those gel packs. My feet were then warming up under the covers, but Biscuit was still doing her best to let me know she knew it was bedtime, and that’s when she begins her rituals. First, it’s blocking my path and mewing, and slithering in and out of my ankles. … Continue reading →

The Truth About Cats & Dogs. And Horses. And Mooses.

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I was talking to my friend who is dating a woman who has lots of horses, and we began discussing all things horse-related. She wanted to know, after hearing a story about her date’s near-trampling, how a horse can just run over you…like they don’t know you’re there… I told her it was like my dog, Giz, when i go to open the door to let him out–if the cats are in his line of trajectory, he just runs right over them…cats know how to tuck and roll, so they never get hurt by it, and he doesn’t do it … Continue reading →