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Category Archives: angst

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A Series of Things:
What I'm doing, not doing, and hoping to do

Posted on September 26, 2020 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 26, 2020

Series writing has been a thorn in my side. I know the consensus is that books do better as a part of a series, but when you’re an Indie Author and Publisher with no employees, choices must be made. I don’t feel I can keep up anymore with my series, nor do I want to. I also don’t like feeling obligated to write something. I’d rather write what inspires me at any given moment. With this in mind, my intentions are to do one more book in each of my series: #3 in New Harbor Witches #4 in Rain Falls … Continue reading →

Posted in depression, elections, fear, angst, disillusionment, Kelli Jae Baeli, BOOKS, WRITING LIFE, anxiety, independent author, sensitivity, WRITING, Xanax, Writer's Block, novelwriting, reality, Fiction Writing, adventure genre, democracy, coping skills, Apocalyptic, dystopian genre, coronavirus, COVID-19, Ban Mercy, The Rona, The Reichers, and The Rez, Zoloft | Leave a reply

Two 2020 Mantras:
Adapt or die, Vote or die

Posted on May 18, 2020 by Kelli Jae BaeliMay 18, 2020

ADAPT OR DIE. That’s the new mantra. Our world has changed, and don’t you believe for a hot minute the fairy tale that things will go back to “normal.” First, they haven’t been “normal” for the last three-plus years. Second, there is no way they ever will, because too much has changed, and there are things that SHOULD CHANGE. This is a flashpoint. A pivotal point in our history. We can take the opportunity now to implement all those things that got bogged down in various sociopolitical quicksands, and create a brighter future for us all. Or we can fuck … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, SOCIOPOLITICAL, aggravation, life, problem-solving, Human Nature, elections, fear, angst, chaos, desperation, change, responsibility, disillusionment, voting, anger, ethics, morality, sadness, money, terrorism, honesty, harsh realities, death, crisis, grief, anxiety, despair, strength, danger, panic, risk, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, CURRENT AFFAIRS, US Constitution, Founding Fathers, democracy, courage, immigration, education, betrayal, adaptation, racism, Climate Change, Planet Earth, Native Americans, 2nd Amendment, fascism, equality, pandemic, donald trump, COVID19, coronavirus | Leave a reply

This-Close:
another bitch of a ditch

Posted on March 14, 2020 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 14, 2020

Change is good, they said. I believe that’s true, most days. Especially since I feel I’ve been in a bitch of a ditch for the last 7 years. Well, not the same ditch. Different ditches. But ditches, just the same. Trenches, maybe. Foxholes. Caves? Anyway, I was ready for those changes we were finally able to make. My wife was about to get a small inheritance. Just enough to get us where we needed to go, if we were lucky. But the inheritance was delayed by various machinations, a few of them due to some abject assholery perpetrated by other … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, SOCIOPOLITICAL, HUMOR, stress, life, fear, angst, chaos, HEALTH, change, disillusionment, money, harsh realities, crisis, moving, luck, anxiety, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, CURRENT AFFAIRS, pandemic, donald trump, donald trump | 2 Replies

Rocking the Boat

Posted on September 26, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 26, 2017

Don’t say anything. Don’t make a comment. It will make you look bad. That’s the usual advice in the publishing industry when someone posts a caustic review of your book, under the assumption that this is about some type of insecurity on the part of a writer. This is not insecurity. It is frustration, and in this case, it’s also outrage. In fact, historically, authors are expected to keep their mouth shut about these things, but I am a proponent of the adage Silence equals Death. This advice to stay mum strikes me as the same mentality that got that Orange Nightmare in the Oval … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, aggravation, WRITING CRAFT, sex, lesbians, Human Nature, truth, orgasm, angst, PSYCHOLOGY, annoying people, anger, society, Kelli Jae Baeli, harsh realities, liars, BOOKS, Book Reviews, WRITING LIFE, sensitivity, WRITING, mystery genre, reading, SEXUALITY, Armchair Detective, Lesbian fiction genre, lesfic genre, adventure genre, Book review | 4 Replies

A Toxic Person

Posted on March 19, 2016 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 5, 2017

This is precisely the thing I am living right now. I needed this reminder to hold my head high, knowing that what any toxic person might say or do to impugn me, I can choose courage and integrity, that I have the truth on my side, and that thinking, discerning people will understand that. ‪#‎TruthWins‬

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Posted in life, Human Nature, truth, angst, annoying people, lies, society, ethics, honesty, harsh realities, liars | Leave a reply

Don’t Make me Unfriend You

Posted on March 19, 2016 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 6, 2017

When you blend your professional and personal life on Facebook, there will inevitably be instances where the two collide, and not in a good way. Some people might like your writing and be big fans who buy all your books, while they simultaneously make snarky comments to personal posts you make, regarding, say political issues–even when they are not, themselves, properly informed of the issues and the ramifications thereof. If they can’t see the forest for the trees, perhaps it’s time to stop venturing blindly into territory for which they have no map. The hateful rhetoric in our political milieu, … Continue reading →

Posted in SOCIOPOLITICAL, angst, responsibility, disillusionment, ethics, honesty, reason, Facebook, WRITING LIFE | Leave a reply

We the People, Saying NO

Posted on March 19, 2016 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 6, 2017

Negativity. It’s not just a mindset anymore, now it’s a natural result of watching national election events. I’m talking about the negativity that arises naturally from watching the masses trail along the demi-gods like lemmings, believing the most obvious and outrageous lies, with no compunction about checking the facts on their own. The hatred, the vitriol, the dirty-dealing, right under everyone’s noses while no one ever gets held accountable. Maybe it’s more accurately disillusionment, but that word doesn’t seem strong enough. But it disgusts me. I see so much potential for us to have a peaceful, loving, integrity-filled world, but … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, SOCIOPOLITICAL, angst, disillusionment, willful ignorance | Leave a reply

Is This How it Starts?

Posted on March 22, 2015 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 22, 2015

Supine, in the bed for that nap I’m supposed to honor every day now, I was struck by an epiphany… What if my life has been lived? What if I’m now going to settle into that twilight of routine and isness? What if the main dish has been served, and all that’s left is the dessert and the check? It’s not as if I feel I need new adventures or challenges. I WANT things to slow down. In fact, I could not withstand more of what I’ve already endured. But the really sobering aspect still remains. I lived most of … Continue reading →

Posted in nostalgia, fatigue, truth, fear, angst, loneliness, sadness, triggers, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), panic, Xanax, truthiness, EMOTIONS, memoir genre | 8 Replies

Don’t be part of the problem

Posted on September 4, 2014 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 4, 2014

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. We’ve all heard that mantra, but it’s true. Recently, I was caught at just the right moment (inopportune, maybe) by a post a “writer” made, asking for help with formatting, and lamenting how hard it was and wondering why she had to worry about it at all. Her posts throughout also revealed that she could not even handle a few sentences without making errors. And then there were all the commenters helping her like she was a child. So I posted an angry comment. I don’t like to … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, WRITING CRAFT, truth, angst, Political Correctness, responsibility, disillusionment, anger, society, writer, honesty, harsh realities, WRITING LIFE, independent author, indie publisher, bad writing, editing, WRITING, critics, PUBLISHING, courage, spelling, willful ignorance, education | 2 Replies

Adventures in Indie Publishing, Incident #227:

Posted on August 12, 2014 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 12, 2014

Amazon informed me that they pulled my book, Rain Falls, off sale, because they were getting too many complaints from readers about a chunk of missing text in the digital version. I realized immediately what was happening, and I rolled my eyes so hard, I could see my brain. My apparently way-too-clever brain. I made adjustments in the file to accommodate this, and added this note to readers in the front:   SPECIAL NOTE TO READERS Recently, Amazon pulled this book down, because too many readers were complaining about missing text. Apparently, those readers did not understand that the missing … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, intelligence, HUMOR, angst, CREATIVITY, disillusionment, Kelli Jae Baeli, Stupidity, harsh realities, ignorance, novelist, BOOKS, Amazon, writing business, WRITING LIFE, lesbian literature, indie publisher, WRITING, Writer's Block, novelwriting, PUBLISHING, willful ignorance, Rain Falls | 2 Replies

A Bowl of Cherries Vs. Sucking Beetroot

Posted on August 12, 2014 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 10, 2020

Greetings, Precious Readers. As most of you know, I’ve had a rather eventful few years. Yes, i found the love of my life, and we are now happily engaged to be married. But getting to this point was a path strewn with rocks and blocks and sharp pointy things, and quicksand and befanged beasts, attacking from all sides. Okay, that might have been a tad melodramatic. But it’s been really challenging. It’s harder than it seems to leave everything behind and start from scratch in another country when you don’t even like to leave the house, and you’re also an … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, aggravation, WRITING CRAFT, angst, muse, Kelli Jae Baeli, harsh realities, writing business, WRITING LIFE, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), WRITING, Writer's Block, novelwriting, PUBLISHING, T3, adaptation, Rain Falls, Pitfall, Self-Publishing Podcast, Johnny B. Truant, Sean Platt, David Wright | Leave a reply

Going Mainstream

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Kelli Jae BaeliJune 11, 2013

CAUTION: FRUSTRATED RANT HOVERING NEARBY. When you find yourself, as a writer, lamenting about why you’re even writing at all, and entertaining the idea of not writing any more, something has to change. I’m growing more and more frustrated with, and weary of, the lack of support from Lesbian Readers for what I want to offer them. I am sick to death of their constant praise of bad writing in the LesFic market, and their unwillingness to demand better, and try anything out of their narrow reading interests. It’s painfully clear that most LesFic Readers have literary blinders, and will … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, aggravation, WRITING CRAFT, problem-solving, lesbians, meaning, angst, disillusionment, novels, anger, purpose, writer, harsh realities, novelist, Fiction, writing business, WRITING LIFE, lesbian literature, mainstream fiction genre, Depressive Realism, independent author, WRITING, reading, novellas, novelwriting, PUBLISHING, eBooks, nonfiction, Lesbian fiction genre, Fiction Writing, nonfiction writing, lesfic genre, betrayal, Rubyfruit Jungle, adaptation | Tagged autodidact | Leave a reply

Irony-Fest on Giving it Away

Posted on March 20, 2013 by Kelli Jae BaeliApril 1, 2013

Welcome to the Irony-Fest, please sign in and wear your name tags. This topic has become a comedy of ironies. Herein lies the oft-repeated back-handed compliments and erroneous and mixed opinions we authors often deal with, in relation to our work. It seems that some readers just don’t understand nor appreciate what authors are offering, and why. And they don’t seem to understand the function of short works in this regard. Would that we could be treated with the same respect that other professions enjoy, without  suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. In one blog, Distracting Fiction: Brand … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, aggravation, WRITING CRAFT, Human Nature, truth, blogger, angst, AUTHORS, society, irony, Kelli Jae Baeli, writer, harsh realities, blogging, RESOURCE & REFERENCE, novelist, PEEVES, BOOKS, Fiction, writing business, WRITING LIFE, independent author, Writing tips, self-publishing, WRITING, Social Psychology, evergreen, novelwriting, truthiness, PUBLISHING, eBooks, Sociology, nonfiction, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, nonfiction writing, EMOTIONS, HOW-TO, ARTICLES & ESSAYS, Giving it Away | Leave a reply

Stupid, Honorable, High-Road Seeking Fool

Posted on February 22, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliJuly 31, 2013

In a post from a few years ago (two posts, actually, under Going to Denver Because You’re Dead) I chronicled this transition of moving to Colorado to start a new life; again reinventing myself, with the hope of somehow finding my new place in this ever-changing, ever-challenging world.  I got rid of three-quarters of everything i owned, packed a U-Haul trailer behind my Cherryot, and off I went. A journey that lasted 30 hours on many days of little sleep. By the time I arrived in Denver, i was exhausted, lost, and had this sensation of being on another planet. … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, Aging, depression, aggravation, stress, life, RELATIONSHIPS, conflict, PTSD, problem-solving, exes, Human Nature, Driving, guilt, women, meaning, fear, phobias, love, friendship, angst, chaos, loneliness, desperation, change, disillusionment, anger, betrayal, sadness, hope, disability, purpose, harsh realities, crisis, moving, Colorado, need, grief, luck, Relocation, U-Haul, midlife crisis, domestic violence, anxiety, apartment, despair, Lakewood, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), sensitivity, panic, WRITING, Xanax, Writer's Block, Social Psychology, trust, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, EMOTIONS | Tagged loss, anxiety attack, partners | 2 Replies

Why not Me?

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 30, 2013

Pulitzer and Nobel Prize-winning author, Pearl S. Buck  said, “A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create~ so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off…They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, depression, stress, life, RELATIONSHIPS, Driving, meaning, fear, romance, friendship, angst, chaos, CREATIVITY, loneliness, desperation, PSYCHOLOGY, disillusionment, AUTHORS, anger, Social anxiety, sadness, harsh realities, self-awareness, socializing, anxiety, despair, Depressive Realism, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, sensitivity | Tagged introversion, Dr. Elaine Aron, PhD | Leave a reply

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Cop in Texas draws his gun and goes on a power trip for no reason

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a_fly_guy_noLars❄️#FBR🇳🇴NEW account@a_fly_guy_no·

12h

I've lived in a place with snow my entire life and I've never once tried to burn snow. It took (crazy)Texans less than a week.

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TravelingUSReady to #BuildBackBetter!@TravelingUS·

24 Feb

Neera criticized #Manchin's daughter for price gouging of #epipens @IAmSophiaNelson ...

https://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ct-epipen-ceo-bresch-salary-20160824-story.html

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ragingjourneyDana Pellebon@ragingjourney·

21 Feb

Best damn question out there. https://twitter.com/wagatwe/status/1363500808151523331

Wagatwe Wanjuki 🇰🇪 🇧🇸@wagatwe

Imagine if colleges said, "hey if your kid comes to our school, they have a 20-50% chance of being shot. We could reduce it but don't feel like it."

Would you be cool with that???

So why are we cool with it when it's sexual violence???

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MalcolmNanceMalcolm Nance@MalcolmNance·

12h

This video is Worth a minute of your time. https://twitter.com/meidastouch/status/1364273579601235971

MeidasTouch.com@MeidasTouch

On the new MeidasTouch Podcast, intelligence expert @MalcolmNance says that MAGA radicals have created a fantasy world that closely resembles that of ISIS and Al-Qaeda.

Listen now: https://anchor.fm/meidastouch/episodes/The-GOP-are-Whiny-Muppet-Babies-with-Malcolm-Nance-eqrkfl

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