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Category Archives: angst

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Rocking the Boat

Posted on September 26, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 26, 2017

Don’t say anything. Don’t make a comment. It will make you look bad. That’s the usual advice in the publishing industry when someone posts a caustic review of your book, under the assumption that this is about some type of insecurity on the part of a writer. This is not insecurity. It is frustration, and in this case, it’s also outrage. In fact, historically, authors are expected to keep their mouth shut about these things, but I am a proponent of the adage Silence equals Death. This advice to stay mum strikes me as the same mentality that got that Orange Nightmare in the Oval … Continue reading →

Posted in adventure genre, aggravation, anger, angst, annoying people, Armchair Detective, Book review, Book Reviews, BOOKS, frustration, harsh realities, Human Nature, Kelli Jae Baeli, Lesbian fiction genre, lesbians, lesfic genre, liars, mystery genre, orgasm, PSYCHOLOGY, reading, sensitivity, sex, SEXUALITY, social politics, society, truth, WRITING, WRITING CRAFT, WRITING LIFE | 4 Replies

A Toxic Person

Posted on March 19, 2016 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 5, 2017

This is precisely the thing I am living right now. I needed this reminder to hold my head high, knowing that what any toxic person might say or do to impugn me, I can choose courage and integrity, that I have the truth on my side, and that thinking, discerning people will understand that. ‪#‎TruthWins‬ … Continue reading →

Posted in angst, annoying people, ethics, harsh realities, honesty, Human Nature, liars, lies, life, social politics, society, truth | Leave a reply

Don’t Make me Unfriend You

Posted on March 19, 2016 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 6, 2017

When you blend your professional and personal life on Facebook, there will inevitably be instances where the two collide, and not in a good way. Some people might like your writing and be big fans who buy all your books, while they simultaneously make snarky comments to personal posts you make, regarding, say political issues–even when they are not, themselves, properly informed of the issues and the ramifications thereof. If they can’t see the forest for the trees, perhaps it’s time to stop venturing blindly into territory for which they have no map. The hateful rhetoric in our political milieu, … Continue reading →

Posted in angst, disillusionment, ethics, Facebook, honesty, POLITICS & GOVERNMENT, reason, responsibility, social politics, WRITING LIFE | Leave a reply

We the People, Saying NO

Posted on March 19, 2016 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 6, 2017

Negativity. It’s not just a mindset anymore, now it’s a natural result of watching national election events. I’m talking about the negativity that arises naturally from watching the masses trail along the demi-gods like lemmings, believing the most obvious and outrageous lies, with no compunction about checking the facts on their own. The hatred, the vitriol, the dirty-dealing, right under everyone’s noses while no one ever gets held accountable. Maybe it’s more accurately disillusionment, but that word doesn’t seem strong enough. But it disgusts me. I see so much potential for us to have a peaceful, loving, integrity-filled world, but … Continue reading →

Posted in angst, disillusionment, frustration, POLITICS & GOVERNMENT, willful ignorance | Leave a reply

Is This How it Starts?

Posted on March 22, 2015 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 22, 2015

Supine, in the bed for that nap I’m supposed to honor every day now, I was struck by an epiphany… What if my life has been lived? What if I’m now going to settle into that twilight of routine and isness? What if the main dish has been served, and all that’s left is the dessert and the check? It’s not as if I feel I need new adventures or challenges. I WANT things to slow down. In fact, I could not withstand more of what I’ve already endured. But the really sobering aspect still remains. I lived most of … Continue reading →

Posted in angst, EMOTIONS, fatigue, fear, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), loneliness, memoir genre, nostalgia, panic, sadness, triggers, truth, truthiness, Xanax | 8 Replies

Don’t be part of the problem

Posted on September 4, 2014 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 4, 2014

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. We’ve all heard that mantra, but it’s true. Recently, I was caught at just the right moment (inopportune, maybe) by a post a “writer” made, asking for help with formatting, and lamenting how hard it was and wondering why she had to worry about it at all. Her posts throughout also revealed that she could not even handle a few sentences without making errors. And then there were all the commenters helping her like she was a child. So I posted an angry comment. I don’t like to … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, angst, bad writing, courage, critics, disillusionment, editing, education, frustration, harsh realities, honesty, independent author, indie publisher, Political Correctness, PUBLISHING, responsibility, social politics, society, spelling, truth, willful ignorance, writer, WRITING, WRITING CRAFT, WRITING LIFE | 2 Replies

Adventures in Indie Publishing, Incident #227:

Posted on August 12, 2014 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 12, 2014

Amazon informed me that they pulled my book, Rain Falls, off sale, because they were getting too many complaints from readers about a chunk of missing text in the digital version. I realized immediately what was happening, and I rolled my eyes so hard, I could see my brain. My apparently way-too-clever brain. I made adjustments in the file to accommodate this, and added this note to readers in the front:   SPECIAL NOTE TO READERS Recently, Amazon pulled this book down, because too many readers were complaining about missing text. Apparently, those readers did not understand that the missing … Continue reading →

Posted in Amazon, angst, BOOKS, CREATIVITY, disillusionment, frustration, harsh realities, HUMOR, ignorance, indie publisher, intelligence, Kelli Jae Baeli, lesbian literature, novelist, novelwriting, PUBLISHING, Rain Falls, Stupidity, willful ignorance, Writer's Block, WRITING, writing business, WRITING LIFE | 2 Replies

A Bowl of Cherries Vs. Sucking Beetroot

Posted on August 12, 2014 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 12, 2014

Greetings, Precious Readers. As most of you know, I’ve had a rather eventful few years. Yes, i found the love of my life, and we are now happily engaged to be married. But getting to this point was a path strewn with rocks and blocks and sharp pointy things, and quicksand and befanged beasts, attacking from all sides. Okay, that might have been a tad melodramatic. But it’s been really challenging. It’s harder than it seems to leave everything behind and start from scratch in another country when you don’t even like to leave the house, and you’re also an … Continue reading →

Posted in adaptation, aggravation, angst, David Wright, frustration, harsh realities, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), Johnny B. Truant, Kelli Jae Baeli, muse, novelwriting, Pitfall, PUBLISHING, Rain Falls, Sean Platt, Self-Publishing Podcast, T3, Writer's Block, WRITING, writing business, WRITING CRAFT, WRITING LIFE | Leave a reply

Going Mainstream

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Kelli Jae BaeliJune 11, 2013

CAUTION: FRUSTRATED RANT HOVERING NEARBY. When you find yourself, as a writer, lamenting about why you’re even writing at all, and entertaining the idea of not writing any more, something has to change. I’m growing more and more frustrated with, and weary of, the lack of support from Lesbian Readers for what I want to offer them. I am sick to death of their constant praise of bad writing in the LesFic market, and their unwillingness to demand better, and try anything out of their narrow reading interests. It’s painfully clear that most LesFic Readers have literary blinders, and will … Continue reading →

Posted in adaptation, aggravation, anger, angst, betrayal, Depressive Realism, disillusionment, eBooks, Fiction, Fiction Writing, frustration, harsh realities, independent author, Lesbian fiction genre, lesbian literature, lesbians, lesfic genre, mainstream fiction genre, meaning, nonfiction, nonfiction writing, novelist, novellas, novels, novelwriting, problem-solving, PUBLISHING, purpose, reading, Rubyfruit Jungle, social politics, writer, WRITING, writing business, WRITING CRAFT, WRITING LIFE | Tagged autodidact | Leave a reply

Irony-Fest on Giving it Away

Posted on March 20, 2013 by Kelli Jae BaeliApril 1, 2013

Welcome to the Irony-Fest, please sign in and wear your name tags. This topic has become a comedy of ironies. Herein lies the oft-repeated back-handed compliments and erroneous and mixed opinions we authors often deal with, in relation to our work. It seems that some readers just don’t understand nor appreciate what authors are offering, and why. And they don’t seem to understand the function of short works in this regard. Would that we could be treated with the same respect that other professions enjoy, without  suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. In one blog, Distracting Fiction: Brand … Continue reading →

Posted in aggravation, angst, ARTICLES & ESSAYS, AUTHORS, blogger, blogging, BOOKS, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, eBooks, EMOTIONS, evergreen, Fiction, frustration, Giving it Away, harsh realities, HOW-TO, Human Nature, independent author, irony, Kelli Jae Baeli, nonfiction, nonfiction writing, novelist, novelwriting, PEEVES, PUBLISHING, RESOURCE & REFERENCE, self-publishing, social politics, Social Psychology, society, SOCIOLOGY, truth, truthiness, writer, WRITING, writing business, WRITING CRAFT, WRITING LIFE, Writing tips | Leave a reply

Stupid, Honorable, High-Road Seeking Fool

Posted on February 22, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliJuly 31, 2013

In a post from a few years ago (two posts, actually, under Going to Denver Because You’re Dead) I chronicled this transition of moving to Colorado to start a new life; again reinventing myself, with the hope of somehow finding my new place in this ever-changing, ever-challenging world.  I got rid of three-quarters of everything i owned, packed a U-Haul trailer behind my Cherryot, and off I went. A journey that lasted 30 hours on many days of little sleep. By the time I arrived in Denver, i was exhausted, lost, and had this sensation of being on another planet. … Continue reading →

Posted in aggravation, Aging, anger, angst, anxiety, apartment, betrayal, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, change, chaos, Colorado, conflict, crisis, depression, despair, desperation, disability, disillusionment, domestic violence, Driving, EMOTIONS, exes, fear, friendship, frustration, grief, guilt, harsh realities, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), hope, Human Nature, Lakewood, life, loneliness, love, luck, meaning, midlife crisis, moving, need, panic, phobias, problem-solving, PTSD, purpose, RELATIONSHIPS, Relocation, sadness, sensitivity, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, Social Psychology, stress, trust, U-Haul, women, Writer's Block, WRITING, Xanax | Tagged anxiety attack, loss, partners | 2 Replies

Why not Me?

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 30, 2013

Pulitzer and Nobel Prize-winning author, Pearl S. Buck  said, “A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create~ so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off…They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, angst, anxiety, AUTHORS, chaos, CREATIVITY, depression, Depressive Realism, despair, desperation, disillusionment, Driving, fear, friendship, frustration, harsh realities, life, loneliness, meaning, PSYCHOLOGY, RELATIONSHIPS, romance, sadness, self-awareness, sensitivity, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, Social anxiety, socializing, stress | Tagged Dr. Elaine Aron, introversion, PhD | Leave a reply

Letter to a Battered Heart

Posted on November 29, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

Open letter to a friend whose heart is battered…. I remember that you were there for me when I was going through a lot and had no one. So I will do my best to be here for you, now. In this life, you have to separate your mental and emotional things, your habits, your beliefs–like laundry. Whites over there, colors over there, delicates there. You can’t throw them all in together or the colors will bleed and what was once pure and white is now sullied. Some things must be kept apart, some things put together, and you always … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, angst, anxiety, Behavior, betrayal, celibacy, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, communication, conflict, courage, dating, depression, despair, desperation, disillusionment, EMOTIONS, ENTERTAINMENT, exes, experience, fear, friendship, frustration, girlfriends, grief, growth, guilt, happiness, harsh realities, honesty, hope, Human Nature, intimacy, Jonatha Brooke, Kelli Jae Baeli, lesbians, lies, life, loneliness, love, meaning, music, PHILOSOPHY, PSYCHOLOGY, reality, reason, RELATIONSHIPS, romance, sadness, self-awareness, self-respect, sensitivity, SEXUALITY, Social anxiety, Social Psychology, socializing, stress, truth, women | Leave a reply

Agnosco veteris vestigia flammae–I feel once more the scars of the old flame…

Posted on November 13, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

Most things for me, now, are in the context of being an HSP. My Sensory Processing Sensitivity is a brain architecture that will never change. It is part of me as much as DNA or eye color or ethnic origins. I know that one of my main weaknesses in this life, is that I don’t do well as a single person, and by extension, I don’t do well sexless. Those needs get in the way of my common sense in evaluating the character of some women. So I have been so bold as to place ads on adult sites, seeking … Continue reading →

Posted in angst, anxiety, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, Colorado, dating, depression, Depressive Realism, desperation, friendship, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), intimacy, lesbians, life, loneliness, love, midlife crisis, PSYCHOLOGY, RELATIONSHIPS, romance, self-awareness, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, sex, SEXUALITY, Social Psychology, socializing, stress, triggers | Leave a reply

Too Much World: A Look at Highly Sensitive People

Posted on November 7, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 30, 2013

In an article in Psychology Today,* I again found comfort in the knowledge that there are others like me out there, and my particular brand of weirdness is not “damage” but an inherent brain architecture I am born with. Just like others are born with blue eyes or musical ability.I speak of those in our species who live with Sensory Processing Sensitivity, which is the scientific term for this trait. More colloquially, it is known as HSP- Highly Sensitive Person, a collection of traits that was identified in pioneering research by Elaine Aron, PhD. Regarding the nature of HSP’s, Aron … Continue reading →

Posted in angst, anxiety, Arts, BRAIN, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, CREATIVITY, depression, desperation, disability, EMOTIONS, experience, fear, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), Human Nature, intelligence, open relationships, PHILOSOPHY, PSYCHOLOGY, self-awareness, sensitivity, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, Social Psychology, SOCIOLOGY, stress | Tagged intraversion, introversion | Leave a reply

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