Category Archives: fear

A Series of Things:
What I'm doing, not doing, and hoping to do

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Series writing has been a thorn in my side. I know the consensus is that books do better as a part of a series, but when you’re an Indie Author and Publisher with no employees, choices must be made. I don’t feel I can keep up anymore with my series, nor do I want to. I also don’t like feeling obligated to write something. I’d rather write what inspires me at any given moment. With this in mind, my intentions are to do one more book in each of my series: #3 in New Harbor Witches #4 in Rain Falls … Continue reading →

Two 2020 Mantras:
Adapt or die, Vote or die

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

ADAPT OR DIE. That’s the new mantra. Our world has changed, and don’t you believe for a hot minute the fairy tale that things will go back to “normal.” First, they haven’t been “normal” for the last three-plus years. Second, there is no way they ever will, because too much has changed, and there are things that SHOULD CHANGE. This is a flashpoint. A pivotal point in our history. We can take the opportunity now to implement all those things that got bogged down in various sociopolitical quicksands, and create a brighter future for us all. Or we can fuck … Continue reading →

This-Close:
another bitch of a ditch

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Change is good, they said. I believe that’s true, most days. Especially since I feel I’ve been in a bitch of a ditch for the last 7 years. Well, not the same ditch. Different ditches. But ditches, just the same. Trenches, maybe. Foxholes. Caves? Anyway, I was ready for those changes we were finally able to make. My wife was about to get a small inheritance. Just enough to get us where we needed to go, if we were lucky. But the inheritance was delayed by various machinations, a few of them due to some abject assholery perpetrated by other … Continue reading →

What Happened & What’s Happening

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Melissa and I did our first Facebook Live Stream on the 16th. Here it is. SUBJECTS: Hillary’s new book, my new releases, Melissa’s book projects, calling the cops last night because someone shot at our house.

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Thoughts Before the Knife

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

I am terrified. I am courageous. I have braved so many things that terrified me. Things I thought I’d never survive. And here I am, “having survove.” I understand that my fear is born of the unknown, where the most potent fear often makes camp. While this is a brand new experience that has no equal, no comparison, I know more now about what is happening to me than I ever have before. And each time I learn more, I have one more tool in my tote to get this job done. I say frequently that You have to be … Continue reading →

Simple Procedures I Get to Sleep Through

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Today, I had a dentist appointment, to get a tooth pulled and cavities filled. That’s what I get for avoiding dentists for–what? 15 years? I’ve been fortunate, since I have always enjoyed healthy teeth, but I should have gone to a few of those appointments along the way. I accept the mantel of shame in that regard. We had to go to Springfield, so we didn’t get home until evening. When I laid back in the awesome Chair-I-Wish-I-Had-at-Home, It soon became apparent that they were not sure why I was there. Seems the VA had not sent over the records of the checkup … Continue reading →

We’re Running out of Time

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

    As Americans we have been lulled into a false sense of security. That’s because those in power, for all their faults, have kept us safe. Now, that paradigm has changed. Now, we have the potential for ruin. A ruin no one in this generation can even fathom. Ask those who went through the holocaust…ask those who know the history of Hitler, and how he came to power; how he was able to do the hideous things he and his minions did. THIS IS HOW IT STARTS, people. Our last hope of stopping it is to get the electors … Continue reading →

Spider-Cabal

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

So last night, we got in bed and were reading, trying to relax after our incident with smacking into a deer on the way home. While ironically reading about prepping for various disasters and emergency situations, I felt a little tickle near my ribs. My first thought was that it might be a member of the arachnid species, but my mind immediately soothed, It could just be a wayward hair, or a cat’s tail, or Noodle’s whiskers. With impressive constraint, I pointed beside me. “Baby, is there something in the bed right here?” Melissa looked down and simultaneously shot out … Continue reading →

To my readers: Be brave, be strong

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

  TO ALL YOU LOVELY READERS: There are formidable challenges ahead of us. This will be hard. So take some time to enjoy nature, to read, as you always do, if you need to get yourself grounded. But then do your part to make things better. If I’ve learned one thing by studying human nature and writing about it all these years, I’ve learned that the human spirit is also formidable. We’ll get through this. Be brave, even when you feel scared. Be strong, even as your hands shake. Smile and hug people. Show love and compassion and resiliency, even … Continue reading →

Fiction as World View

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

I have had some criticism from a few readers who were disappointed when I introduced new characters and locations and plots in my series fiction, and allowed the main characters to have a slightly smaller role to make room; apparently these readers wanted the same story again, the same characters, the same sex scenes, the same dynamics, the same formulaic challenges, the same everything. Essentially, they wanted to read about characters who lived in a vacuum, and never had any interaction with others, nor any natural progression. This mindset is not only elitist, fearful, and unrealistic, but within fiction, stale, … Continue reading →

Is This How it Starts?

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Supine, in the bed for that nap I’m supposed to honor every day now, I was struck by an epiphany… What if my life has been lived? What if I’m now going to settle into that twilight of routine and isness? What if the main dish has been served, and all that’s left is the dessert and the check? It’s not as if I feel I need new adventures or challenges. I WANT things to slow down. In fact, I could not withstand more of what I’ve already endured. But the really sobering aspect still remains. I lived most of … Continue reading →

ADRIFT (poem)

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Tossed, blown off course by the storm, My skin pink from previous sunlight, I stand on the deck and imagine she is there waiting for me to reach shore If I can just glimpse her in the distance like a soothing port of call I know I’ll find my way. But when the sail lies flaccid and I am adrift in the water, I think I can hear the gurgling below, Seeping in, Weighing me down. My vessel riding low in the lapping waves. And bailing water, I ache for the succor of her embrace, The softness of her lips … Continue reading →

The Handmaid’s Tale: An American Dream Gone Awry

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Throughout our recent election process, I kept thinking about how a Romney presidency would begin to remind me of The Handmaid’s Tale, the dystopian novel by Margaret Atwood. It reminded me that I wrote a paper on this book years ago in college. I don’t seem to have it compiled in any of my published anthologies, so i thought i would post it here. It’s a timely piece of literature still, which does not speak well of our republic. The Tea-Party is just the sort of organization to bring this dystopian theocracy to fruition. Hopefully those things are back on … Continue reading →

Clogging the Feed

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Dear Facebookers: I will try not to clog the feed. I will try to post things with some time in between, but FIRST: I am posting to MY PAGE. If you don’t want what i post in your feed, it’s simple to just click the arrow and remove my posts from YOUR FEED. That’s called Choice. It’s a great concept. SECOND: please know, that i am not posting a bunch of flower pictures. Let’s just get our priorities clear, shall we? I am posting information that i feel voters should know in order to make an informed decision. And I … Continue reading →

Word Count & a Teeming Brain

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

One writer mentioned on her blog that she hates it when other writers have word count widgets on their blogs. It was as if they were showing off how much writing they got done. She didn’t do word counts herself because there were times when she took writing out and replaced it, and then the word count stayed the same even though she might have had a perfectly good day’s writing under her literary belt. I have word count meters on my blog, but not for the reasons the aforementioned writer says. I have a word count meter because first, … Continue reading →