Category Archives: Internet

Domino Bones

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

…Average Morning Weirdness… This morning, I rolled over to greet my honey, as she sat down on the bed (she almost always rises before I do). I heard three pops–one in my right shoulder, one in my neck, one in my left shoulder. I made some comment like, “Oh, my crunchy joints…they pop in sequence…it’s like dominoes. I have Domino Bones.” Then, I realized how much I liked the phrase. Domino Bones. “Sounds like the name of a canyon in Montana,” I say. Then put on my announcer voice: “They were lost in the canyon of Domino Bones and had … Continue reading →

Fish Should Learn to Walk

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

I think I’ve moved past my most recent dark night of the soul. This time it took about 7 weeks. Had a couple of things go my way, though, (finding a new apartment to move to, which I love), and an online relationship deepening into intriguing and exciting possibilities….possibilities that become pissabilities…As is the trend with my life, I don’t get anything good without an addendum of aggravation or disappointment. Some reminder that no, fortune does not often smile on me and the Luck Fairies either have a millennium-old vendetta against my soul, have no GPS, or are somewhat retarded. … Continue reading →

Regrettable Profile of the Day: "In My Late Fourty"

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

This is an actual profile on a dating site for LESBIANS.  My self-summary IM IN MY LATE FOURTY I HAVE BLUE EYES 6 FOOT AND WAS MARRIED FOR 13 YEARS AND LOST MY SPOUSE IN 09 AND IM EASY GOING WOMAN LOOKING FOR A FRIEND FIRST AND THEN A LONG TERM RELACTION SHIPAND HAVE NOT BEEN WITH ANYONE IN OVER ABOUT 2 YEARS AND LOVE TO GET OUT AND START DATING AND ENJOY MY NEW LIFE AND SEE WHAT PATH IM ON AND LOOKING FOR A SWEETMAN AND LAID BACK I LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC AND I LIKE PRO FOOTBALL BRONCOS … Continue reading →

Shamelessly Stolen Meme Survey

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Your ex calls wanting to hangout, what do you say? By ex, I will assume you mean, ones I had a relationship with for longer than a year. Depends on who it is. Although, I have to say there are few with whom i would like to hang out…maybe the first one, but don’t see her calling after all these years…I quite thoroughly broke her heart…but i would hang out with her if she did call….and the 4th one…the one who started as girlfriend, and wound up being my best friend. What do you think about sex before marriage? This … Continue reading →

Self-Educators, Unite!

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

I have this underlying aggravation about the red-headed step-child of education. No, I’m not talking about a befreckled child, literally. I’m talking about self-education. In our modern Internet era, it is much easier to find information–some of it is crap, that’s a given. But if you’re smart enough to know where to look, and how to find the accurate data, you can learn almost anything. Thus, I feel the educational establishment should start recognizing self-educated people by offering a test-out option on all college and university websites. Take me, for example. I had 8 years of college, for a degree … Continue reading →

Her Floxiness in 3D

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Yeah. Just as I suspected. Floxy turned out to be……..A spam-I-Need-your-help-in-the-form-of-your wallet…what do you think I should do, Dear Readers? Maybe I should contact her and tell her I am heartbroken that she only wanted my money and that I thought she might be “the one” and I want to marry her and have lots of babies. Hello Dearest , Thanks for your responds, i wen’t through your profile and fined it intresting the expression of love , How are you today?I hope this massage will find you in the best of your health, I really like to have a … Continue reading →

The God Banana

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

On YouTube, recently, a video was posted of a Christian program called “The Way of the Master” wherein the hosts, Ray Comfort and actor, Kirk Cameron gave their argument for creationism based on the “design” of a banana. Included in their argument were points they said showed that the banana was a product of Intelligent Design, i.e., God. They said the banana is shaped to fit the human hand; that it’s color-coded so we know when it’s not ripe, when it’s overly ripe, and when it’s just ripe enough; that it has a handy pull tab, and perforations to allow … Continue reading →

Catching Hell From the Hellish

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Even within my own “supposed” community, the community assigned to me by virtue of my sexual preference, I catch hell in the online dating realm, whenever I complain about the content of insipid emails from the dull and ignorant on personals sites. Misspelled words, fragmented sentences, fake modesty, transparent bravado, shallow beliefs, misplaced haughtiness, gender confusion, the walking wounded…. Sometimes I can’t believe it. Unfortunately, I have no choice but to believe it, because it’s true. It happens to me repeatedly, like some recurring rash… I continue to get those kinds of mails. I even started a special forum called … Continue reading →

Eye of the Beholder

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

With regularity, I am confronted by various personal ad placers who accuse me of being shallow or superficial because I require a photo of someone first, before I will explore any potential relationship. There are many reasons I require this, not all of them about attraction, but for the purpose of this particular sore spot, I will address this as if it is exclusively an attraction issue.  The distinction to be had here, is that I don’t place ads to find friends. I have plenty of friends. I am seeking a lifemate. Therefore, the attraction factor is crucial. I don’t … Continue reading →

Nightmare Dates: The Actress with a Bad Vibe

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Okay, so this last July, i met this woman online from Topeka. She had been an actress in LA a few years ago, nothing huge, just bit parts and commercials. She did have a speaking role in The Bachelor. Anyway, we emailed and talked on the phone a few times, and then planned to meet. She drove down one weekend to my house. That’s the bad part about long distance dating– especially when you first meet someone. It’s inevitable that they will be at your house, or you at theirs for a day or two. This can lead to all … Continue reading →