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Kelli Jae Baeli

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Home→Categories HEALTH→menstruation

Category Archives: menstruation

Behorned Cleated Demon, & the Exxon Valdez

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on September 16, 2003 by Kelli Jae BaeliNovember 28, 2011

I have horrible cramps. A little behorned cleated demon is kicking the crap out of my ovaries… Oh it’s so hard to be female sometimes… I could run a hot bath and get in to soothe my horrible cramps. I can see it now…I’d get all settled and then reach for the soap and realize it’s up on the hangy thing, and I’d have to stand up to get it at which time the giant squids would fall out of me, and turn the water pink. I’d then have to drain the water because i don’t want to soak in … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, menstruation | Tagged Exxon, cramps, bath, period | Leave a reply

Quotes from Kelli Jae Baeli

"While there are exceptions to the rule, such as intelligent creative people who ARE happy, this condition is ameliorated, in my understanding, by some other coping mechanism. Usually, in the form of some voluntary belief system that allows the creative and intelligent individual to ignore the farther reaches of edification--those that would suggest more reason for unhappiness."

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“No," I replied testily. "I'm pretty sure 'digital' is Latin for 'fingeral,' so finger cancer equals digital cancer. This is all basic anatomy, Dr. Roland." Then Dr. Roland told me that he thought I was overreacting, and that "fingeral" wasn't even a real word. Then I told him that I thought he was underreacting, probably because he's embarrassed that he doesn't know how Latin works. Then he claimed that "underreacating" isn't a word either. The man has a terrible bedside manner.” ~ Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

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