Category Archives: pain

The Quest for a Comfortable Chair

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I fear I must be a special needs child…er…adult… After my military injuries, I was told I’d never walk again. I went from a wheelchair to a scooter, to forearm crutches. Now, I’m walking just fine…except when I’m not. It took years to get myself back on my feet. Now, I have certain limitations that I have always tried to address with clever ergonomic solutions–physical, and otherwise. Ergonomics is not just about efficiency, it’s about comfort. While I always streamline and arrange my workspace to address ease of use, I also must be comfortable, physically. Problem is, my spine doesn’t … Continue reading →

Projects, Pitfalls, Promise

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Shame on me. I haven’t posted a blog in a long time. SO much going on with us lately. Dealing with sudden health issues happening all at once, burned out, exhausted, feeling ill all the time, I was certainly not inspired to write. So I decided to take a 6-month sabbatical. It turned into 8 months when I found out in the middle of it I needed major surgery. So, I had to face my #2 biggest fear, (surgery) and I’ve been recovering from a full abdominal hysterectomy, and after almost 8 weeks, I’m still having some issues, which I … Continue reading →

Vamoosing

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Suspended my Netflix account. Still packing, desperately needing boxes. Downstairs, I pulled up everything in that storage room, which was the contents brought so far from storage when I actually thought I was going to be living here permanently, and her mother had finally moved, so I could do that. But only after we had ripped up the carpet down there and cleaned the unbelievable nastiness her mother lived in. bleach fumes, up and down stairs, aching body. I realized I would have to leave some things behind because it wouldn’t fit in my car or in storage, and I … Continue reading →

Surviving Family Member

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My father is dead. He’s been dead for 13 days. I got to hear about it from a friend who got a call from another friend who saw it in the paper, and I was not mentioned in the obit as a surviving family member. This is ironic because surviving my family is exactly what i had to do. I’m pissed off that I’m crying. Why would I have tears for someone who threw me away like used coffee grounds, and with as little consideration? I know I’m not crying for the loss of him. Or the loss of them. … Continue reading →

Herniated Disco: Motivations & Ruminations

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Tried to stay positive today but had a hard time. A long-time fear which has simmered on the back burner for some time, is now moving toward the front burner. I was thinking about what it might mean…this situation…I intend to do wholeheartedly, start to finish, the steps outlined in the book by Dr. Daulton, when I have all the “ingredients” in place, but if the methods don’t ultimately heal me, then what? I had this sort of sick feeling every time I thought about surgery. I don’t know if it’s just my inherent fear of surgery, in and of … Continue reading →

"Can’t. Have a Bone in my Shoulder."

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One witty remark that I have always loved is about an excuse not to do something: “I can’t. I have a bone in my leg.” I still find that wisecrack hysterical. My jocularity is tempered somewhat by the fact that I really do have a bone that keeps me from doing everything I want to do–at least, not without pain. I have a new bone spur in my left shoulder. I also have one in my right shoulder, but it did its acting up a few years ago, and now seems relatively well-behaved. The problem with bone spurs is that … Continue reading →

Phone A Friend

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I hung up feeling equal parts indignant, confused, and chagrined. It seems that one old friend is offended by the fact that i don’t enjoy a relationship that resides exclusively through phone lines; It also seems that while i may have a history with this Phone Friend, this somehow implies that i have a present, as well; I stand accused of giving more to those who are currently present in my day to day life, than to you, old friend–you, who made a valiant effort to destroy me, and then demanded an apology. . . you, whom i haven’t seen … Continue reading →

Passerby

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(Published in the Arkansas Women’s Journal) I had begun the trek to my Expository Writing class that January afternoon, taking the high walkway in front of the campus bookstore, when my eyes flickered to the woman coming toward me. She was a frosted blond, middle aged, dressed professionally, and carried a soft side attaché. She held an ugly green umbrella over her head to stave off the light drizzle; the edge of the umbrella tilted just enough so that I couldn’t see her face clearly. These details swept into my brain along with a numbing suggestion that she was not … Continue reading →

The Pusher

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Certain people…why do they vex me so much? My most vexing personality type is the PUSHER. They suck the juice out of my brain and it is just so tired…. Recently, I had an unusually taxing experience with the Pusher…I had to keep reiterating that my response in a situation was about BRAIN FATIGUE…BRAIN FATIGUE…BRAIN FATIGUE…BRAIN FATIGUE…BRAIN FATIGUE! I wanted to get some some facts straight: I am not her My brain is not her brain My particular needs for balance and harmony are not hers. I was not angry that she spilled tea on my desk–I recognized that was … Continue reading →