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Kelli Jae Baeli

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Home→Categories HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP)→triggers

Category Archives: triggers

Is This How it Starts?

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 22, 2015 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 22, 2015

Supine, in the bed for that nap I’m supposed to honor every day now, I was struck by an epiphany… What if my life has been lived? What if I’m now going to settle into that twilight of routine and isness? What if the main dish has been served, and all that’s left is the dessert and the check? It’s not as if I feel I need new adventures or challenges. I WANT things to slow down. In fact, I could not withstand more of what I’ve already endured. But the really sobering aspect still remains. I lived most of … Continue reading →

Posted in fear, angst, loneliness, sadness, triggers, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), panic, Xanax, nostalgia, truthiness, fatigue, EMOTIONS, truth, memoir genre | 8 Replies

Being a Delicate Organism

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on September 8, 2013 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 9, 2017

Highly Sensitive People are, as the moniker suggests, acutely aware of stimuli. Which is one reason I prefer the designation of Highly Aware Person. HAP. I’m a Hap. A Happy. Sounds much better to me than being called “Highly Sensitive” which carries with it a rather pejorative tint. But HSP is the most commonly used acronym in reference to us, and so I feel a bit obligated to use it. HSPs are often aware of sensory input that others miss. We are about 20% of the population, and this Sensory Processing Sensitivity is found in around 100 other species, as … Continue reading →

Posted in chaos, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), PSYCHOLOGY, personality, change, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, DOMESTICA, EMOTIONS, stress, harsh realities, sacrifice, life, crisis, courage, RELATIONSHIPS, moving, coping skills, Behavior, triggers, problem-solving, Relocation, quirks, strength, Human Nature, Sensory Processing Sensitivity | 2 Replies

Reproach Beyond a Dog (poem)

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 8, 2013 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 8, 2013

(I wrote this poem years ago, but now understand even more why this issue is such a big deal for me. As an HSP, certain stimuli is maddening to me, and the barking of a dog is probably the number one thing that will drive me insane…anyway, that issue was the inspiration for this poem. P.S. no animals were harmed in the making of this poem). from Yin & Yang: Poetry & Lyrics From Both Sides of my Disposition   Reproach Beyond A Dog A soothing ritual, nightly enacted; a process habitual, rightly exacted: book on her chest, rum tea … Continue reading →

Posted in WRITING, harsh realities, Sociology, revenge, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, poem, poetry, triggers, BOOKS, stress, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, life, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), problem-solving, sensitivity, dogs, Yin & Yang, PSYCHOLOGY | Tagged barking | Leave a reply

The Fourth Betrayal

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on January 22, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliFebruary 23, 2012

NOTE: So, in my seeking help when i needed it, for my recent betrayals and abandonments, the counselor i went to see called the next day to inform me she couldn’t see me anymore and for a really stupid reason. I tried to reason with her on the phone, but she had to stand by what she felt was her principals, but which was only LOFTY IDEAS getting in the way of her ability to give the actual care she had sworn to as a medical professional. Finally frustrated beyond words and feeling even worse, i hung up on her. … Continue reading →

Posted in reason, stress, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, disillusionment, RELATIONSHIPS, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), suicide, grief, sensitivity, betrayal, luck, Behavior, Social Psychology, ethics, malpractice, problem-solving, sadness, truth, triggers, women, writer, friendship, honesty, WRITING LIFE, desperation, self-awareness, frustration, despair, PSYCHOLOGY, email, depression, responsibility | Tagged debate, disagreement, logic, paradigms, letters, defense, opinions, outcast | Leave a reply

If a Woodchuck Could Chuck YOU.

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 28, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 11, 2013

Was meeting a friend at a local pub I like a lot, even though it’s often noisy as hell, and I picked out a booth to wait for my friend to arrive. The waitress gave me a glare when I sat down at the table that still had the paid ticket and the dirty dishes. I had never had a rude waitress there, so gave her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she wasn’t looking at me. Then it took her a full five minutes to get over there and clean the table off, and I wondered. When I tried … Continue reading →

Posted in PEEVES, Behavior, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), PSYCHOLOGY, FOOD & DRINK, annoying people, Sociology, conversation, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, alcohol, EMOTIONS, society, restaurants, aggravation, harsh realities, life, bad customer service, rudeness, conversations, RELATIONSHIPS, triggers, conflict | Tagged cider, manager | Leave a reply

Agnosco veteris vestigia flammae–I feel once more the scars of the old flame…

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 13, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

Most things for me, now, are in the context of being an HSP. My Sensory Processing Sensitivity is a brain architecture that will never change. It is part of me as much as DNA or eye color or ethnic origins. I know that one of my main weaknesses in this life, is that I don’t do well as a single person, and by extension, I don’t do well sexless. Those needs get in the way of my common sense in evaluating the character of some women. So I have been so bold as to place ads on adult sites, seeking … Continue reading →

Posted in angst, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, depression, loneliness, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), dating, desperation, intimacy, stress, PSYCHOLOGY, SEXUALITY, life, self-awareness, Social Psychology, sex, Colorado, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, RELATIONSHIPS, socializing, lesbians, triggers, romance, midlife crisis, love, anxiety, friendship, Depressive Realism | Leave a reply

Turn, Turn, Turn

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on July 21, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 6, 2013

{reposted from Facebook} I just had a really unsettling experience. I’m trying right now to just calm my thumping heart, and take a breath. One thing that is no secret about me, is that I don’t have many secrets. I am pretty open. I have to be, because I am a creative person who produces creative material. But I don’t pretend that I’m so special that i don’t have a day to day life with day to day struggles and victories that i wish to share with those in my life. Nor do I pretend that human nature is always … Continue reading →

Posted in betrayal, quirks, society, anxiety, past, ethics, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, exes, sadness, frustration, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), Human Nature, TIME, nostalgia, sensitivity, friendship, honesty, stress, Social Psychology, angst, harsh realities, life, PHILOSOPHY, PSYCHOLOGY, self-awareness, rudeness, Sociology, annoying people, pariah, RELATIONSHIPS, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, self-respect, triggers, conflict, EMOTIONS, anger, Facebook, Behavior, music | Tagged secrets | 27 Replies

On the Heels of…

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on June 20, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

  I had a marathon conversation last night with an ex from 10 years ago; and reconnected with her (Terra), via something she came across in my blog. The last half of the conversation created a feeling of great discomfort for me–both then, and this morning. My dreams were filled with people from the past, and anxiety tinted the start of my day. I was aware that in this phone conversation, I had slipped back into old habits and patterns of response and emotion. Our conversation was triggering me like a pack of firecrackers. She is, at the moment, inextricably … Continue reading →

Posted in exes, anxiety, conversation, Denver, Colorado, lesbians, Depressive Realism, anger, sacrifice, frustration, Supernatural Hypocrisy, Driving, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, betrayal, music, Aging, novelist, angst, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), sadness, depression, herniated disc, loneliness, SEXUALITY, disability, stress, injury, PSYCHOLOGY, Social Psychology, songwriter, life, triggers, HEALTH, RELIGION, writer, RELATIONSHIPS, Relocation, annoying people, The Cognitive Dissonance of a God Cosmology, harsh realities, fatigue, TRAVEL, change, Sociology, self-awareness, conflict, BOOKS, disillusionment, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, memories, problem-solving, midlife crisis, self-respect, EMOTIONS, moving | 4 Replies

Things i don’t need.

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on October 14, 2008 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

  I don’t need ovaries, nor the monthly hemorrhaging that evolution has foisted upon me; this survival mechanism meant to perpetuate the species via progeny. I have not and will not ever experience life in my womb (apparently not even of the pleasurable, stimulating variety, if present is any indication of future). Even if i were young enough to bear children, I neither have the desire nor the likelihood of doing so as a lesbian who would never, by definition, sleep with a man, and could not fund the artificial process. I don’t need that lizard brain interpretation of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Aging, EMOTIONS, depression, need, life, luck, sex, triggers, lesbians, midlife crisis, loneliness, despair, PSYCHOLOGY, Depressive Realism, disillusionment, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, sadness, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), harsh realities, SEXUALITY, self-awareness, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS | Tagged don't need | Leave a reply

Brain Dump: Mortality & Meaning

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 25, 2008 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 10, 2013

Okay, I know this is going to be less a blog, and more a journal entry, but whatever. Consider it the first in a series of brain dumps. <<–Look, i even made a graphic for it…. Onward…. I usually try to see the bright side of things, and when I can’t do that, I try to see the funny side. Anyone who reads this blog knows that. And often the dark side can be funny, if you know how to manipulate the data. But this morning, I think my brain is in some other gear….PARK, maybe. It hits me like … Continue reading →

Posted in disillusionment, guilt, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), anger, self-awareness, meaning, sensitivity, betrayal, grief, fear, PHILOSOPHY, Social anxiety, frustration, luck, growth, Shoes, Aging, triggers, angst, reality, sadness, aggravation, singlehood, loneliness, BRAIN, purpose, life, midlife crisis, desperation, Sociology, mortality, RELATIONSHIPS, anxiety, PSYCHOLOGY, cats, cigarettes, quirks, despair, HEALTH, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, harsh realities, exes, Depressive Realism, existence, EMOTIONS, family, Sensory Processing Sensitivity | Tagged parrot, E Pluribus Unum, brain dump | Leave a reply

Knock & the Door Won’t Be Opened to You

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on February 12, 2008 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 8, 2013

I have a condition called Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, and that often means I wind up sleeping during the day, and being awake at night. This schedule has its negative aspects. One of them is the fact that I’m asleep while everyone else is going about their business. Few things can awaken the irrational beast in me faster than someone knocking on my door when I’m asleep. First, it scares me, and so that’s what is known as a rude awakening. Who likes waking up scared? Knocks on the door have always scared me, even when I’m awake. I’ve tried … Continue reading →

Posted in guns, Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSP), triggers, soliciting, PEEVES, religious zealots, privacy, anxiety, HUMOR, apartment, Sleep, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, door, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), fear, EMOTIONS, HEALTH, GADGETS, DOMESTICA, RIGHTS | Leave a reply

Door Christians

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on June 12, 2003 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 8, 2013

Well here’s my latest little adventure…I’m one of those people who has to have a certain amount of control over my environment to be happy. When that gets disrupted, it fucks with my Chi, as I like to say. As a songwriter, I often spend long hours working on tracking my music in my home studio. I was in the middle of recording a new song and had already started over twice, and really had it going good this time when…. …there was a knock at the door. My dog, Giz, went to barking, (‘Cause it fucks with his Chi, … Continue reading →

Posted in rudeness, privacy, RIGHTS, door, strangers, personal space, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, soliciting, RELATIONSHIPS, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), religious zealots, PSYCHOLOGY, RELIGION, annoying people, zealotry, Christianity, ATHEISM, frustration, society, Sociology, HUMOR, DOMESTICA, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, aggravation, triggers, EMOTIONS, life, PEEVES, satire | Tagged interruption | Leave a reply

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