Category Archives: conflict

Muse Recovery & Descriptive Prose

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{dusting off the blog}. It’s been a while since my last entry. I was busy with moving back from New Zealand to Denver area, to prepare a life for me and my Sweetie, and we have of course been missing each other desperately, and spending lots of time online Skyping and Typing. And I had to get settled for a while, so I can work out the other plans on the horizon. I am currently residing in an extended stay suite and will probably be here for a while, so i have been trying to climb back on the writing-horse … Continue reading →

The Truth of Fiction

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I was just thinking about what a reader said to me about one of my books–that it bothered her it was not explained why one character did something to another. I assumed this would be obvious by the context and the characters and also knowing that people just do things for their own reasons and you can usually guess what that is if you’re absorbing the nuances of the story. But no. Some readers seem to want an explanation for everything, even when an explanation can be interpreted or assumed. Perhaps this is because in reading fiction, we want to … Continue reading →

Stupid, Honorable, High-Road Seeking Fool

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In a post from a few years ago (two posts, actually, under Going to Denver Because You’re Dead) I chronicled this transition of moving to Colorado to start a new life; again reinventing myself, with the hope of somehow finding my new place in this ever-changing, ever-challenging world.  I got rid of three-quarters of everything i owned, packed a U-Haul trailer behind my Cherryot, and off I went. A journey that lasted 30 hours on many days of little sleep. By the time I arrived in Denver, i was exhausted, lost, and had this sensation of being on another planet. … Continue reading →

Letter to a Battered Heart

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Open letter to a friend whose heart is battered…. I remember that you were there for me when I was going through a lot and had no one. So I will do my best to be here for you, now. In this life, you have to separate your mental and emotional things, your habits, your beliefs–like laundry. Whites over there, colors over there, delicates there. You can’t throw them all in together or the colors will bleed and what was once pure and white is now sullied. Some things must be kept apart, some things put together, and you always … Continue reading →

If a Woodchuck Could Chuck YOU.

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Was meeting a friend at a local pub I like a lot, even though it’s often noisy as hell, and I picked out a booth to wait for my friend to arrive. The waitress gave me a glare when I sat down at the table that still had the paid ticket and the dirty dishes. I had never had a rude waitress there, so gave her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she wasn’t looking at me. Then it took her a full five minutes to get over there and clean the table off, and I wondered. When I tried … Continue reading →

Mother-Guilt Archetype & Family Obligations

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Most of us are familiar with the Mother Archetypes in our society–one of which is the passive-aggressive mother who tries to make you feel guilty for living your own life because it doesn’t coincide with what she wants or needs. As exemplified by messages like “I had to go to the doctor yesterday…in case you care…” A friend of mine is dealing with this sort of mother, who has a long track record of showing little or no concern for her daughter’s happiness, nor at all appreciative of her daughter’s wonderful qualities. Her only contribution to the mother-daughter relationship is … Continue reading →

Critique of Bad Fiction

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Several years ago, I did a critique for a friend who wanted my editorial-writerly insight on some stories she wrote. After I read them, I was then uneasy, because I am not willing to lie, yet I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. When she asked about the results of my reading, I told her I was afraid she wouldn’t like my critique. She stated emphatically that she wanted the cold hard truth. And so, that’s what I gave her. Below, is the critique, and I post it because I feel it covers lots of territory that every new writer … Continue reading →

EXTENDED STRESS Hotel.

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My Cherryot was loaded to capacity, with the things I thought I’d need for two months, until an apartment became available.   At Extended Stay, I checked in with desk clerk–started to unload, and had to take several things up first (5 trips in elevator) before I noticed that there was a luggage cart in front with a tattooed guy leaning on it talking to another guy. “Oh a luggage cart!” I said. “I need that.” He said he only had a couple of things and rushed off to get his task done so I could have it. Meantime, I … Continue reading →

Vamoosing

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Suspended my Netflix account. Still packing, desperately needing boxes. Downstairs, I pulled up everything in that storage room, which was the contents brought so far from storage when I actually thought I was going to be living here permanently, and her mother had finally moved, so I could do that. But only after we had ripped up the carpet down there and cleaned the unbelievable nastiness her mother lived in. bleach fumes, up and down stairs, aching body. I realized I would have to leave some things behind because it wouldn’t fit in my car or in storage, and I … Continue reading →

Turn, Turn, Turn

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{reposted from Facebook} I just had a really unsettling experience. I’m trying right now to just calm my thumping heart, and take a breath. One thing that is no secret about me, is that I don’t have many secrets. I am pretty open. I have to be, because I am a creative person who produces creative material. But I don’t pretend that I’m so special that i don’t have a day to day life with day to day struggles and victories that i wish to share with those in my life. Nor do I pretend that human nature is always … Continue reading →

On the Heels of…

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  I had a marathon conversation last night with an ex from 10 years ago; and reconnected with her (Terra), via something she came across in my blog. The last half of the conversation created a feeling of great discomfort for me–both then, and this morning. My dreams were filled with people from the past, and anxiety tinted the start of my day. I was aware that in this phone conversation, I had slipped back into old habits and patterns of response and emotion. Our conversation was triggering me like a pack of firecrackers. She is, at the moment, inextricably … Continue reading →

Ditto

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The word “Ditto” means another of the same, a duplicate, a copy. What I have been experiencing here, with people, is ditto. Just when I might feel my faith in people resurrecting, a little ditto happens and that faith is relegated to ashes again. Is everyone a ditto? I can’t possibly be the only one who feels this way, so why can’t I ever find those people? And why can’t one of them be my partner so that I can stop stumbling over the corpses of my own discontent? Writing can be solitary, and writing can be thankless. Real writers … Continue reading →

The Pusher

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Certain people…why do they vex me so much? My most vexing personality type is the PUSHER. They suck the juice out of my brain and it is just so tired…. Recently, I had an unusually taxing experience with the Pusher…I had to keep reiterating that my response in a situation was about BRAIN FATIGUE…BRAIN FATIGUE…BRAIN FATIGUE…BRAIN FATIGUE…BRAIN FATIGUE! I wanted to get some some facts straight: I am not her My brain is not her brain My particular needs for balance and harmony are not hers. I was not angry that she spilled tea on my desk–I recognized that was … Continue reading →