Category Archives: friendship

Clogging the Feed

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Dear Facebookers: I will try not to clog the feed. I will try to post things with some time in between, but FIRST: I am posting to MY PAGE. If you don’t want what i post in your feed, it’s simple to just click the arrow and remove my posts from YOUR FEED. That’s called Choice. It’s a great concept. SECOND: please know, that i am not posting a bunch of flower pictures. Let’s just get our priorities clear, shall we? I am posting information that i feel voters should know in order to make an informed decision. And I … Continue reading →

Stupid, Honorable, High-Road Seeking Fool

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In a post from a few years ago (two posts, actually, under Going to Denver Because You’re Dead) I chronicled this transition of moving to Colorado to start a new life; again reinventing myself, with the hope of somehow finding my new place in this ever-changing, ever-challenging world.  I got rid of three-quarters of everything i owned, packed a U-Haul trailer behind my Cherryot, and off I went. A journey that lasted 30 hours on many days of little sleep. By the time I arrived in Denver, i was exhausted, lost, and had this sensation of being on another planet. … Continue reading →

The Fourth Betrayal

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NOTE: So, in my seeking help when i needed it, for my recent betrayals and abandonments, the counselor i went to see called the next day to inform me she couldn’t see me anymore and for a really stupid reason. I tried to reason with her on the phone, but she had to stand by what she felt was her principals, but which was only LOFTY IDEAS getting in the way of her ability to give the actual care she had sworn to as a medical professional. Finally frustrated beyond words and feeling even worse, i hung up on her. … Continue reading →

Why not Me?

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Pulitzer and Nobel Prize-winning author, Pearl S. Buck  said, “A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create~ so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off…They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency … Continue reading →

Is This What it Takes?

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Today, I worked on the 3rd book of the AKA Investigations series. I had to really think about what changed to make me go into that zone again–I’ve been trying so long to get there. One thing was that i just enjoyed a visit with my best friend who came to see me for 4 days. I hadn’t seen her in over 2 years. We had a great social time. Then, while she was here, I held my first local meeting of Kindred Ink Writers Initiative (KIWI) and got to talk a lot about writing, both in the group and … Continue reading →

Letter to a Battered Heart

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Open letter to a friend whose heart is battered…. I remember that you were there for me when I was going through a lot and had no one. So I will do my best to be here for you, now. In this life, you have to separate your mental and emotional things, your habits, your beliefs–like laundry. Whites over there, colors over there, delicates there. You can’t throw them all in together or the colors will bleed and what was once pure and white is now sullied. Some things must be kept apart, some things put together, and you always … Continue reading →

FWPB

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Sometimes we forget the gray areas. The innocuous middle ground that is so often overlooked because it doesn’t scream at us like the extremes do. It’s why certain things are overlooked; like the independent voters, the agnostics, reputable, stable, feminine lesbians, and the middle class. It had occurred to me that sexuality holds its own equidistant region. We have often heard of that relational designation of fuck-buddy (FB), and the other one of Friends with Benefits (FWB), but I contend there is another. The one in the gray area, which has remained undefined, and perhaps under-utilized… FWPB. Friends With Partial … Continue reading →

Throwing Bullets

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My best friend, Justi, and I were talking about knives and axes, as weapons.  (I know, but we often have strange conversations with little memory of exactly how the subject came up). Anyway, she liked the idea of using them as weapons –of throwing an axe at someone who was attacking her. And as usual added, “Don’t you?” I said no, I don’t want to get that close to someone who is trying to kill me. She said, “You don’t have to get close, it’s an axe. You can just throw it at them.” I deftly spotting the flaw in … Continue reading →

Agnosco veteris vestigia flammae–I feel once more the scars of the old flame…

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Most things for me, now, are in the context of being an HSP. My Sensory Processing Sensitivity is a brain architecture that will never change. It is part of me as much as DNA or eye color or ethnic origins. I know that one of my main weaknesses in this life, is that I don’t do well as a single person, and by extension, I don’t do well sexless. Those needs get in the way of my common sense in evaluating the character of some women. So I have been so bold as to place ads on adult sites, seeking … Continue reading →

Vamoosing

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Suspended my Netflix account. Still packing, desperately needing boxes. Downstairs, I pulled up everything in that storage room, which was the contents brought so far from storage when I actually thought I was going to be living here permanently, and her mother had finally moved, so I could do that. But only after we had ripped up the carpet down there and cleaned the unbelievable nastiness her mother lived in. bleach fumes, up and down stairs, aching body. I realized I would have to leave some things behind because it wouldn’t fit in my car or in storage, and I … Continue reading →

Kindred Molecules, Deja Vu, and Noosphere

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There are people we meet who seem to be immediately familiar…these familiars are somewhat vexing, in that it often doesn’t make much sense why you are drawn to certain people and feel like they are part of your molecules, somehow.Whatever that little cosmic thing is that seems to be going on somewhere under the radar…I seriously believe in the concept of Kindreds. I rarely have that sense with people, but I have been enjoying that connection with a new one–Tanya. I feel a connection with Tanya that defies logic. We haven’t seen each other in 30 years. But I have … Continue reading →

Show & Tell

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  I’m thinking about how you can’t believe what people say, only what they do. And if all they do is say and never do, then avoiding them is what I have to do. No, I don’t usually trust people right away. And with good reason. But this suspicion doesn’t manifest in my reticence to make friends, nor my with-holding of laughter or affection or opportunity. It manifests in my head, where no one can see it. I give people enough rope, and they either hang themselves, or weave me a pretty basket. Either way, I have my answer. If … Continue reading →

Making Tracks

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So my first First Fridays at Tracks. I went, faithfully following my GPS, and watching the little pulsing blue dot that was me on the map, as I veered repeatedly from the route I was supposed to take. I’ve discovered that if I just drive straight shots through town, I do better. The Highway is confusing and I end up taking the wrong lane and having to circle back and start over. Later I ran into Tina and her friend and spent a little time with them. Everyone wanted to steal my electronic cigarette. I must get some stock to … Continue reading →

Going to Denver Because You’re Dead (2)

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In this second installment, I am on my way, the tone of the journey being set right away in Joplin, a mere 60 minutes from my starting place… Fri August 1 at 9:08am~ Jae:: in Joplin at loves truckstop. Having food and getting ice for my neck. It’s swelling. It’s tedious already driving 45mph I feel like I’m going to CO on horseback. Veep: but not bareback…..right? Jae: Yes, bareback, where all the trouble is to be found. First, i get back on the exit and take the wrong turn, winding up on an access road next to the interstate, … Continue reading →