Category Archives: open relationships

Too Much World: A Look at Highly Sensitive People

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In an article in Psychology Today,* I again found comfort in the knowledge that there are others like me out there, and my particular brand of weirdness is not “damage” but an inherent brain architecture I am born with. Just like others are born with blue eyes or musical ability.I speak of those in our species who live with Sensory Processing Sensitivity, which is the scientific term for this trait. More colloquially, it is known as HSP- Highly Sensitive Person, a collection of traits that was identified in pioneering research by Elaine Aron, PhD. Regarding the nature of HSP’s, Aron … Continue reading →

Send Matches or UPS

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Still, I’m not writing. What is wrong with me? I try, but then nothing comes out. And yes, I’m writing this blog, but it’s not what i mean by “writing.” For me, writing means writing A BOOK. Nothing has ever kept me from writing. Nothing. No One. Ever. Never. Nada, zip zero, zilch. After authoring 22 books, and having about 7 in various stages of completion, it’s not like this is usually an issue for me. So what’s my problem? Was it that train wreck of a last relationship i just came out of? (Escaped from, would be more accurate. … Continue reading →

Id, Ego, Super-Ego & the Social Security Number

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I slept fitfully all night. A pervasive anxiety crept through me until I began to fidget with restless legs. A couple of times I woke up feeling like I couldn’t breathe. Like I was underwater and there was no surface in either direction. I didn’t know if I was up or down….I only knew I was going to drown. (Song Lyric alert).Lest anyone think me too self-possessed, I will admit that what tossed me and turned me was not the plotting problems of my newest novel, but plain old insecurity. I went to sleep thinking about the phone conversation I … Continue reading →

Open Relationships Vs. Monogamy (4)

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Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4 Okay. I guess I’m being too hard core. Someone told me I’m being judgmental and imposing my opinions. I just know what i know and believe what i believe and feel passionately about it…it is not my intention to make anyone feel they can’t speak their mind or have a differing opinion and i hope that’s clear–if it’s not, know it NOW. I am interested in engaging in thoughtful discourse, growing, learning, supporting and learning to communicate with each other. And regarding this monogamy subject, i am still deciding where the lines are…like, is it … Continue reading →

Open Relationships Vs. Monogamy (3)

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Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4 Someone said, about this monogamy debate, “let me grow at my own rate, let me make my own mistakes, stop interferring with my journey!” Well, I wouldn’t pull them apart and scream “I forbid you to do this!” I am merely voicing my opinion–but not interfering with their right to use free will and make their own choices. I am not trying to be the Morality Police here, but that doesn’t mean i don’t feel there needs to be some policing–by someone….by all of us, really. I have always believed that what two consenting adults … Continue reading →

Open Relationships Vs. Monogamy (2)

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Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4 JH said, “I agree with [that] each couple [should be] free to define their respective relationship and its constraints. I have been in numerous types of relationships (all with women) in my 36 yrs on the planet. Some were with ladies that insisted that I not go out drinking without them, not slow dance with others, not grind on people even playfully and never kiss or romantically/flirtly speak on the phone. Now…at the time I agree to these terms because I was young and believed I was in love and was getting what I needed … Continue reading →

Open Relationships Vs. Monogamy (1)

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Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4 You are in a bar with friends, and you turn around, and your single friend is kissing–open-mouth, sexually, kissing– your friend who is in a relationship. They say it’s no big deal, because they both understood it didn’t mean anything. Further, the coupled friend announces that not only has she and her girlfriend discussed this type of thing, but that it’s perfectly okay, and she would in fact enjoy watching her girlfriend make love with someone else, and vice versa. How would you feel about this? First, If this happened behind the absent gf’s back–and … Continue reading →

Beautiful Blogist: Act 2

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Email from Beautiful Blogist…. Ok…BF. and I are dating. weird, eh? I don’t really know exactly how it all happened…we were pretty much agreed that we were friends…and this weekend seemed like it was going to be like any other…and truthfully, I hadn’t ever really thought of her that way…maybe glimpses here and there…but the energy was there and things were stellar…I mean…it seemed meaningful, tender, all the things I’d hope for that sort of interlude to mean….and it was so much better because she’s my best friend. It’s hard to describe. I never got any of the weird feeling … Continue reading →

Meltdowns, Irony & my Achilles Heel

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Fear is not the antecedent of abundance. I had another mini-meltdown last night. . . when I say meltdown, I don’t mean anything huge. . .just angst, tears, frustration, some sadness. . . It was in regard to someone I’ve been engaging. Some things have come up in my consciousness. I was aware of these things, but realized I was not thinking about them–purposely avoiding them, because to believe in that reality would suck away the good emotions I was having about talking to this woman—the Beautiful Blogist. She lives in another state, and after numerous lengthy emails about pretty … Continue reading →