Category Archives: SHOPPING

The Quest for a Comfortable Chair

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I fear I must be a special needs child…er…adult… After my military injuries, I was told I’d never walk again. I went from a wheelchair to a scooter, to forearm crutches. Now, I’m walking just fine…except when I’m not. It took years to get myself back on my feet. Now, I have certain limitations that I have always tried to address with clever ergonomic solutions–physical, and otherwise. Ergonomics is not just about efficiency, it’s about comfort. While I always streamline and arrange my workspace to address ease of use, I also must be comfortable, physically. Problem is, my spine doesn’t … Continue reading →

Charcoal Thursday Sale

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I had stretched my budget to the limit at the end of this month, and wasn’t sure when my check would go in, but assumed I’d be spending Thanksgiving eating an avocado pocket sandwich, rather than something with turkey in it, to at least commemorate the holiday. But then, my check went in early, and I thought. “Hey, I should go buy some kind of turkey dinner now.” Well. It was a holiday, and I knew many things would be closed. I just hoped at least one of the grocery stores would be open. So I got in my van … Continue reading →

Shopping for Banishment

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My friend Georgie said, “I thought about you in HEB the other night — shopping with you. Made myself giggle.” “Oh I’m sure we’d get kicked out of a store.” “Just a little kick.” “No, banished.” “Why?” “Because I tend to steal other people’s shopping carts, after they’ve filled them up and then I argue with them–that they haven’t paid for it yet, it’s not theirs, and I like it, so I’m taking it.” She’s laughing. “But I haven’t done that in a long time,” I added. “I’m gonna have to wear some Depends,” Georgie said. “Yeah! Maybe I’ll steal … Continue reading →

Them Thangs That Hold Up Books

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I’m in Wal-Mart, in the middle of the night, as I often am, when I shop, due to my weird sleep schedule. It’s also easier and faster to shop in the middle of the night because there are no lines. But there are lots of stock-people. I wanted some bookends of the heavy-object variety, rather than the thin metal ones that slide under the books. I had already seen those in the office supply aisle. I stopped one of those stock-guys to ask, “Do you have bookends?” “Book-ins?” he says. Yes a gathering of people in libraries all night with … Continue reading →

Shopping for Banishment

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My friend Georgie said, “I thought about you in HEB the other night — shopping with you. Made myself giggle.” “Oh I’m sure we’d get kicked out of a store.” “Just a little kick.” “No, banished.” “Why?” “Because I tend to steal other people’s shopping carts, after they’ve filled them up and then I argue with them–that they haven’t paid for it yet, it’s not theirs, and I like it, so I’m taking it.” She’s laughing. “But I haven’t done that in a long time,” I added. “I’m gonna have to wear some Depends,” Georgie said. “Yeah! Maybe I’ll steal … Continue reading →

The Attack of the Wal-Martian

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So I went to Wal-Mart to get a re-recordable DVD or two, and some regular ones. As I made my way to the front, a rather elderly Wal-Martian, with Spandex pants pulled up high over her pot belly, stood staring at me, awaiting my need for her check-out prowess. I paused, saying, “I’m ready if you are.” She frowned. I noticed her eyebrows seemed unnaturally bushy. “Are you open?” I indicated her empty line, which she was posted at, like all good Wal-Martians, who wish to snag you and encourage you to pay for your selected items before leaving the … Continue reading →