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Is This How it Starts? — 8 Comments

  1. Reading your post and the comments above gives me great insight to life. Which just seems like a bunch of hooey right now!

    I know it to be true that life is what we make of it. But I have spent half my life being with others. Trying to be happy by making them whole. I never really found myself. I believe I was close once but perhaps I am a little codependent myself or just making excuses… I never had any encouragement or support from those I cared about. If anything I got was discouragement.

    Your thoughts make you human. I have followed you for a short time now and I think you are the most amazing, eccentric (<<–Is that the right word? lol) author I have followed this far. You are not afraid to go somewhere your heart pulls you. I am bummed that things didn't work out for you in your last relationship but am certain you will come through this

    • Irk! I accidentally clicked post comment before I was done with that. Well, I hope you have a great rest of your week, whatever that may be for you and I will be looking for any other books of yours I have not yet read… I don’t think there are any left but there could be. I am reading your essays too now and am getting lots of laughs from dubya dubya … I concur with all of your thoughts! Keep your chin up and keep smiling!!

      • Thanks Tanya. I have 42 books, but a few of them are currently unavailable while i update my catalog of work. And of course, i will continually be writing more. Thanks for your support!

    • Hi Tanya. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. This Universal Humanity we all share–I’ve always felt it was fruitless to pretend we don’t have the same pain, the same emotion that everyone else does. I am compelled to share mine, and it is cathartic as well as a statement of self-acceptance. This is life, This is how hard it can be. But maybe by putting it out there, someone else will be able to say that, too, and this will lead to some type of closure or understanding, and allow them to carry on with their head held high.

      And yes, it was a cruel and sometimes debilitating realization, that my previous relationship turned out to be such a lie….I hope to find more peace with that as time goes on. Until then, thank you for your kind words. <3

  2. I’m familiar with that path. It seems you’re destined to do nothing but pet your cat, drink some wine, write some pages, get some coffee, lather, rinse, repeat. But I truly believe that if we weren’t meant for more, we’d have already left this life. Life has more for us. Just remember to be gentle with yourself.

    • I do believe there is so much more for me to do, yet. And that does keep me going. Good advice, Deanne. Sometimes I give myself that same advice and sometimes i slip, as you can see. I suspect it’s all part of the process, and I can see that this time around, at least, I am dealing with it in a much healthier way than I ever have before. I’m not quite sure what the antecedent for that is, other than just being older and wiser, or being used to it by now…maybe all of that, and also–what i most strongly suspect–is that after you have such a set of extremes for so long, the relief that comes from cessation of that is powerful. I am truly more thankful for things now that I have been through that ordeal. I don’t know if this will last, or I will slip into the usual place of discontent with life, but for now, all indicators are that I will be fine. I think my only real fear is of being alone as i age. But that’s a big one. Thank you so much for your continual support and friendship. <3

  3. Bleak. But the thing I have noticed about you lately, you are finding yourself. I think perhaps you got lost a little. You wrapped yourself up in someone else who used you, used your creativity and your warmth, and stupidly discarded you. Your strength was leeched, you are getting it back. You are dynamic, strong, and have so much left. Besides…crazy cat ladies rule!

    • Thanks Lisa. Yes, as sobering (READ: humiliating) as it might be, i am re-finding myself. Funny, how you think once you find yourself the first time, it sticks. But you’re right–situations and other people can suck the identity right back out. And I let that happen, so now I’m the one who has to fix it. For the most part, i feel I am doing quite well, but as you can see, i still have my moments. I have appreciated so much the support and encouragement I’ve gotten from from people like you, here and in my Facebook community. Thanks for your kind words. <3

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