Silk Purses from Sow’s Ears
My best friend holds that distinction for many reasons, not the least of which is, she manages to teach me how to find opportunity in adversity.
During this recent challenge, though I approached it as I always do, by getting information and understanding what I really had to face, (and what I didn’t)–in seeking the truth–I was very proactive about tackling the situation. But within that mindset, still lived my tendency to allowed myself to be beaten down by repetitive ideas…like the idea that my life was on hold and there was nothing I could do about it.
So Justi and I were talking on the phone (which we do several times per day) and in speaking of the delays in my move to Colorado, the obstacles…i worked myself into a lather and heard myself say, “If i have to stay in this situation much longer, it’s going to kill me.” I think she took that to mean i was suicidal, and that wasn’t the case. I have been through that dark night of soul and and have come to a conclusion that precludes taking my own life. I said “I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to live like THIS.” That’s an important distinction. But for whatever reason, my friend thought I was fearful that I would become suicidal, so her skill of making a Silk Purse out of a Sow’s Ear kicked in.
She began to form a plan that would get me to Colorado. We discussed the details and at the end of it, I realized she was right. I could go. I could get there by August 1st. I would have to make a different set of decisions and let go of some old ideas, as well as some material possessions.
That was the first pertinent point: are these THINGS more important than my sanity or my happiness? Well of course not. So if I sold, gave away or tossed most of my stuff, the costs would decrease substantially, because I could drive there in my Blazer, pulling a U-haul trailer instead of dealing with a truck and auto transport. And, as it has happened several times before, i realized i was also maintaining a paradigm that was no longer supported by the details. I’ve written about this before. It’s that tendency we have to hold onto our ideas about how things are, when things have changed since that assessment was made. We have to go back and look at the details that brought us to that conclusion and ask ourselves if those details are still true or even still exist. If they don’t then the assessment of the situation must change, because the ingredients have changed.
One of those details -the most pertinent one–was that i no longer had a crappy undependable car. I had a really nice Blazer. With more room inside, and a luggage rack on top, and a TOWING HITCH. So the necessity of an auto transport, and thus, a TRUCK to pull it, meant more costs. If that was no longer in the paradigm, then the costs were less, which helped make it doable. Then we went through my budget spreadsheets and added up what I would have over the next few months and what i could generate by selling many of those things that kept me tied to this location. This created a possibility where there was none. And all I had to do was let go of some ideas and some material possessions.
So I am moving Aug 1st. Traveling light, but certain that my smile will become bigger and bigger the closer I get to Colorado.
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