Spider in my Car
My best friend called me not long ago, and in the middle of our conversation, she said, “Hang on, there’s a spider in my car and I have to pull over before I freak out.”
She takes off her shoe to kill it and I warn her that shoes do not kill spiders. They have some kind of shield like on the Starship Enterprise, that engages. You smash them and they get up and walk away.
She claims to have injured it, but crippling a spider is not really crippling a spider–I mean there’s all those legs. You can break one and they can still ambulate.
“I hit him pretty hard,” she says. “he has to be concussed. I hope he’s not in my hair–“
I’m laughing hard enough to keep from answering, because my best friend’s hair is an ongoing joke in regard to creatures who like to nest in it.
“You know spiders like my hair,” she continues. “Now I don’t where he is.”
|My best friend, Justi- A good
example of hair spiders like.
“He’ll wait until you’re back on the road in traffic,” I say. “and then limp onto your nose, dragging that one injured leg, and bite you right between the eyes.”
There is a short silence, and I hear the distant sound of a car horn in traffic. Then she says, “I’m gonna worry about this until I find the body.”
*Apparently, Mazda had to recall 52,000 of their cars because Yellow Sac Spiders liked to build nests in the evaporative canister vent line. No human hair there, but still.
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