Change is good, they said.

I believe that’s true, most days. Especially since I feel I’ve been in a bitch of a ditch for the last 7 years. Well, not the same ditch. Different ditches. But ditches, just the same. Trenches, maybe. Foxholes. Caves?

Anyway, I was ready for those changes we were finally able to make.

My wife was about to get a small inheritance. Just enough to get us where we needed to go, if we were lucky. But the inheritance was delayed by various machinations, a few of them due to some abject assholery perpetrated by other members of the human race. But papers were finally signed and sent.

There’s a lyric in one of my songs, Payin’ the Piper:

What is the point again? I forget.
Someone remind me why I took this bet.
Risk-taker, one step away from the street,
I been through Hell and back, in my bare feet.
Murphy is my Guardian Angel, see,
With a full dance-card and A.D.D.
I kept my chin up, and my head down,
a bad luck cocktail swirlin’ around.
I don’t know why I keep trudgin’ along
I keep payin’ the piper, but the Piper never plays my song.

Right about the time we’re ringing our hands and clutching our pearls, waiting for the mailman to deliver that check, we are hit with a global pandemic. A GLOBAL PANDEMIC.

The sort of thing I used to joke about. Yeah, with my luck, I’ll get right up to that dream being realized, and then we’ll get hit with an asteroid, or a global pandemic.

I know you know I’m not lying, because if you’re reading this, you’re involved. It’s happening to you, too.

I know there are worse things. Like, maybe, falling ill with this coronavirus, COVID-19. Sure. But I was this-close to taking that first step into my lifelong dream of finally having a home of my own. This-close to getting out of this place I hate, the landlady of which charges me $1000 per month for a house worth about $650. THIS-CLOSE.

So we’re doing the social-distancing thing. We stocked up and have about 2 months worth of food and sundries.

We feed on the news like a piglet on a teat, hoping to hear good news, but only hearing more of the same. An inept, egomaniacal, sociopathic Resident in the White House, surrounded by sycophants, traitors, and ne’er-do-wells bent on destroying this Constitutional Republic in favor of lining their villainous pockets and covering their abhorrent asses.

I suppose it was time to test this great Democratic experiment once again. It’s been a couple hundred years, after all.

But couldn’t it all wait until I was ensconced in the Northwoods, growing my own food, and having learned how to be accurate and lethal with a bow and arrow?