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Kelli Jae Baeli

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Home→Published 2004

Yearly Archives: 2004

Fur-Family Christmas

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 26, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliJanuary 8, 2012

The Cast of characters: Giz (AKA Gizmo, Gizzard the Lizard, Gizzy-Giz, and of course, his Russian name, Gizimov Runninov). Adopted from shelter in 1998. Half spaniel, half chihuahua, and all the way sweet and nerdy. If he was a human he’d be in therapy and wear pocket protectors.He eats anything i give him and steals the rest. Nanny (AKA the Nanster, Snooder, Smacker, Nanner-Bananner). Poodle adopted from the shelter. Stone deaf, incontinent, toothless. Eats only soft food, wears a diaper and makes “hoo hoo” noises.     Stormy (AKA the Stormster, the Storminator, Stormy-storm). Matriarch of the LS branch of … Continue reading →

Posted in family, dogs, Christmas, cats, HUMOR | Tagged fur | Leave a reply

Barbie Cutlery

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on October 16, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliOctober 16, 2004

Some years ago I was invited to a Barbie-Party. This other couple I know has one foofy member who likes to throw theme parties, and this was the one that had some impact on my life…(as absurd at that sounds). One of the gifts she gave out to us was our own personal set of Barbie Cutlery. It was bright pink, made of thick, durable plastic, and I took it home with me and found that after I used it a few times, I didn’t want to use anything else… Perhaps I should explain that I have this little quirk–I … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, quirks | Tagged Hen Party, cutlery, Barbie, pink | Leave a reply

Ichabod Day

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on October 1, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 6, 2013

Today feels like the first day of fall to me–not because it’s necessarily cold, but because I have noticed for the first time that most of the leaves have been liberated from the trees. It opens things up, makes things feel larger, and yet more mystical at the same time. There is a starkness to the trees that create an ambiance like something out of a Tim Burton film. I half expect Ichabod Crane to come galloping down Pivot Rock Road with a lantern and windswept leaves crackling beneath clocking hooves.

Continue reading →
Posted in WEATHER & SEASONS | Tagged Ichabod Crane, autumn | Leave a reply

Defining Rape

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on September 1, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 1, 2004

I don’t pretend to know the truth one way or another about the Kobe Bryant case…This woman could be just trying to capitalize on the wealth and fame of a sports celebrity. She could have a legitimate complaint. She could be merely embarrassed that she engaged in sexual activity and then thought better of it later. She could feel that she wanted to stop, but wasn’t strong enough to say so. Regardless, all i do know is that often there are gray areas, and that this case has brought up some interesting issues. The thing that interests me is the … Continue reading →

Posted in rape, karma | Tagged Kobe Bryant | Leave a reply

Climbed Like a Cat

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 12, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliMay 12, 2004

For some time now, I have suffered the quick intake of breath on the heels of sharp pain in my legs right above the knee. I attribute it to the fact that my new kitten, Shoes, keeps climbing me. It would explain the lacerations as well. Thank God she is now old enough to get declawed, as my airbed is also deflating several times a day, now, too. Last Saturday, I was in a local pub with LS, and a really attractive blond woman climbed me like a cat. She nuzzled me, purred in my ear and couldn’t stay off … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, cats | Tagged climb | Leave a reply

Monster on a Half-Shell

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on April 18, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliApril 18, 2004

(from an email to an Ex) …..whew, okay. let me see if I can tackle this one…. My intent in contacting you was simple: I knew we would eventually cross paths and I didn’t want to dredge up the past. I am in a space where I want my life to move forward. I have learned a lot about myself, and about the dark rooms I wandered in for so many years. I cannot begin to tell you how many lights have been switched on. I didn’t like what I saw. As long as it was shrouded in darkness, I … Continue reading →

Posted in RELATIONSHIPS, past, exes, experience, life | Tagged mistakes, misunderstanding | Leave a reply

Space Invader

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on April 18, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliJanuary 8, 2012

It started out with me on my way to the grocery store, having awakened with no coffee in the house-a tragedy all on its own. I thought of that little coffeeshop down the street and thought maybe I’d stop in to check it out, so I brought what i lovingly refer to as my Tippi Tap Typer just in case. Roscoe’s Music and Espresso Cafe was a tiny establishment, but intriguing. It was time I tried to get out of the house a little and use my new toy in a different environment. I ordered a White Chocolate cappuccino and … Continue reading →

Posted in coffee, WRITING CRAFT, crazy, quirks | Tagged odd | Leave a reply

Passerby

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on April 17, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliApril 17, 2004

(Published in the Arkansas Women’s Journal) I had begun the trek to my Expository Writing class that January afternoon, taking the high walkway in front of the campus bookstore, when my eyes flickered to the woman coming toward me. She was a frosted blond, middle aged, dressed professionally, and carried a soft side attaché. She held an ugly green umbrella over her head to stave off the light drizzle; the edge of the umbrella tilted just enough so that I couldn’t see her face clearly. These details swept into my brain along with a numbing suggestion that she was not … Continue reading →

Posted in pain, mother | Leave a reply

Hangbags

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 28, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 28, 2004

I have this quirk that remains indefinable in psychological intelligentsia. I can be so picky about where something goes, and how it goes there, and get upset when it is misplaced. But then I’ll throw empty file folders on the floor. Odd. Like a wannabe Obsessive Compulsive who never quite embraces the illness, but flirts with contracting it. But since two of my big irritants is hunting for something i need, or moving something out of the way so i can use a space, I was so happy when i found a clever solution. I had lots of various items … Continue reading →

Posted in problem-solving | Tagged hints, organization, household, bathroom | Leave a reply

SHOES

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on January 18, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 10, 2013

A short time back, I offered a blog entry on what could only have been a hallucination. The little black kitty I saw by the side of a dark road. Perhaps it was a waking dream – a precognitive waking dream, at that. This month, I adopted a tiny black kitten from the Humane Society. I was going to get another kitten, but she was too sick to adopt out and all her siblings had already died. On whim, I stopped in days later to check on her and decided I would check and see if there might be another … Continue reading →

Posted in Shoes, cats | Tagged kitten, Humane Society | Leave a reply

Novel Navel Tangents Before Bed

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on January 17, 2004 by Kelli Jae BaeliJanuary 17, 2004

I was just lying there reading, and my hands wandered absently, scratching invisible itches, examining a rough patch of skin, worrying with the blemish on my chin. At some point, my finger found it’s way into my navel, and some suction was created when I pulled it out-odd– It had been a little moist in there. And I came away with a prize, an infinitesimal little wad of something that looked rather like a dust bunny. This was sufficient distraction from the article I was reading, and I dug around inside my navel again, quickly aware of the irritation I … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR | Tagged navel, hygiene | Leave a reply

Quotes from Kelli Jae Baeli

"Since I can't do the types of exercises that will allow me to lose weight, I'll have to reduce my calorie intake to 1000 calories per day, just to stay fat."

Politics Quotes

"People feel removed from sexism. 'I'm not a sexist, but I'm not a feminist.' They think there's this fuzzy middle ground. There's no fuzzy middle ground. You either believe that women are people or you don't. It's that simple." (Joss Whedon)

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Quotes for Writers

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. ~ Somerset Maugham

Word of the Day

whidwid To move quickly and quietly. A quick, noiseless movement.

Favorite Quotes

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole. ~author unknown

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