Monthly Archives: June 2009

Enough about you

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

I’ve been in a really positive place lately because everything is going so well, and I am on schedule for my move to Colorado. It’s 33 more days!! Yea! Things are going my way, and if you are a regular reader, you know that it’s cause for celebration. Anyway, just because I’m in a good space, doesn’t mean i don’t still notice some of those little niggling things that operate like a tack in my shoe. Here’s a niggling niggler: when you are on the phone with someone, many times over a series of days or weeks, and they never … Continue reading →

Jae-Walking

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

My new exercise program consists primarily of walking, (and sometimes Jumping to Conclusions). I prefer walking the golf course for several reasons: aesthetics (Not many parks around here–the golf course is the “parkiest” place, convenience–it’s just down the hill, the winding, undulating path gives variety to the muscle-workout, and I guess I have a secret desire to be beaned with a golf ball. There‘s a little old man on a golf cart who patrols the area; he’s more like the Hall Monitor than a Security Guard. My first encounter with him went something like this: He whirs up next to … Continue reading →

Somewhere Else (excerpt)

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

1 The Color of Confusion Cornelius paused with vermilion up on his brush, about to make a bold swath across the canvas, when he noticed Daelah. Placing the loaded brush in his teeth, he reached down and readjusted the position of his wheelchair so he could see her better. At the end of the long corridor leading to the kitchen, she stood at the foot of the stairs, looking up at the ceiling, and down at her hands, and touching her own face. Cornelius frowned, a drop of vermilion free falling from the end of his brush onto a dried … Continue reading →

On the Heels of…

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

  I had a marathon conversation last night with an ex from 10 years ago; and reconnected with her (Terra), via something she came across in my blog. The last half of the conversation created a feeling of great discomfort for me–both then, and this morning. My dreams were filled with people from the past, and anxiety tinted the start of my day. I was aware that in this phone conversation, I had slipped back into old habits and patterns of response and emotion. Our conversation was triggering me like a pack of firecrackers. She is, at the moment, inextricably … Continue reading →

News from the Front Lines

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Four of my books are live on Amazon and four more will be, by next week, probably. Then another five will follow within a month. Then I can start working on the books I’ve had to put on the back burner to do all those final edits. I’ve also gotten out of my groove with the writing because of everything else that required my full attention. I’m anxious to get back to it. It’s such a part of me, that when I don’t write, I start to feel a little empty. Am on schedule for my relocation to Colorado. My … Continue reading →

Wishbonehead

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It was old and brittle, many months forgotten, on top of the spice rack. A wishbone,liberated from some poultry which sustained me and then became a memory removed with the flossing of my teeth. I picked it up and entertained the first thought that always comes to mind for most people: Make a wish. I am not superstitious and I don’t believe in magical chicken bones. But if I did, I told myself, what would my wish me? I knew I would have a hard time choosing just one. So I wished two wishes. I wished to find my soulmate … Continue reading →

Slippity Doo Dah

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

(or, “I Don’t Love my OTHER Shoes”) I’ve always known that certain footwear was dangerous. The most common culprit in my mind is the high heel-pump-stiletto family of shoes. Aside from the usual hazard of balancing on something so precarious as a shoe with a peg under it (although Pirate-amputees seemed to have mastered it), or in the case of a stiletto, (essentially walking on a PENCIL), there is a profound discomfort to be had in the awkward position of the foot, and the disfiguration that takes place as a woman gets older while partaking of this footwear. Have you … Continue reading →

Gynepsychology

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You ever wonder who the gynecologist for famous actresses is? Can you imagine? Most men dream of even seeing a female star; this guy gets to put his fingers in their coochies, and put his face right up there in it. All in the name of medicine. Sanctioned by reputable institutions of higher learning. But they’re still men, and I can’t imagine they wouldn’t be just a little thrilled with their career choice. I’ve always been suspicious of male gynecologists, anyway. I mean, what kind of guy is in med school and decides he wants to look at vagina’s all … Continue reading →

The Bitch & Stumble

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Myself and two friends are all fired up about getting our bodies back in shape. We’re realizing, that just as all the sages warned, we aren’t getting any younger. (dammit). I’m also going organic and making all my personal care and household products, but that’s another blog… Anyway, so the three of us are doing the 6×30 routine on a Gazelle. That was the invention of my friend, Justi, who began to work out on the Gazelle six times per day for 30 minutes, and has seen fantastic results. Now, not everyone works at home and can do this, but … Continue reading →

Shopping for Banishment

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

My friend Georgie said, “I thought about you in HEB the other night — shopping with you. Made myself giggle.” “Oh I’m sure we’d get kicked out of a store.” “Just a little kick.” “No, banished.” “Why?” “Because I tend to steal other people’s shopping carts, after they’ve filled them up and then I argue with them–that they haven’t paid for it yet, it’s not theirs, and I like it, so I’m taking it.” She’s laughing. “But I haven’t done that in a long time,” I added. “I’m gonna have to wear some Depends,” Georgie said. “Yeah! Maybe I’ll steal … Continue reading →

Conversations With my Cats–#1 in a series

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So i sat down in my desk chair, and biscuit comes up, with her feather-duster tail conducting some silent orchestra, and i pet her. She lets me do that now, more than she did before. But then she eventually pulls away. “See?’ I say to her. “You realize it’s not so bad to have that affection, but you still can’t help it. I don’t know where that comes from because I’ve had you since you were an itty bitty kitty, and you’ve always been safe and nothing bad has ever happened to you. So i guess it’s about that nature … Continue reading →

Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

  [this is a writing exercise I do, wherein I take a list of unrelated subjects and phrases in my files (or through suggestions from readers) and try to connect them in prose…and it’s usually humorous. It also teaches you how to construct segues. The items in this list are, Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys.] so…here we go…. I am a pariah. I know this, though the usual response from my friends to this proclamation is a dismissive, “No you’re not…you’re just rare and wonderful.” Like a good steak. So I’m only good for a food source. One of … Continue reading →

Texting Texting One, Two, 9…oops

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

It’s not that I don’t enjoy getting and sending text messages. I just don’t enjoy TYPING them. It reminds me of the days when I had to use a manual typewriter and it took so long, and if you made a mistake, there was no backspace, no delete, no cut and paste, no spell check. My current cell phone is a Pantech C3b–“the smallest camera phone with a flash on the market.” (the perfect thing for an aging writer who over-uses her eyeballs). I do like being able to stick it in my pocket and go, since before I had … Continue reading →

Coffee, Stupidity, Insanity & Germs

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Amazing, how she can write so much about coffee and the mundane moments within her domestic trivia. Go ahead and say it now and get it over with. I know you want to… Domestica ™ is one of my subjects, because I’m a domestic sort. Or domesticated. In my domicile, independent and cut off from the outside world. Except for the Internet, which IS the world, really, so…notsamuch. Anyhoo, moving on…My first sip of coffee today was too hot. I just burned the hair off my tongue. I hear you saying, “There is no hair on your tongue.” To which … Continue reading →