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Kelli Jae Baeli

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      • Also Known as Armchair Detective (AKA 1)
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Category Archives: life

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Protein entrée, per USA

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on September 12, 2020 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 12, 2020

Beef, chicken, pork. Why are there only three meat choices? Okay four, if you count fish. I don’t eat much fish, though, so for me, it probably doesn’t count. I like seafood, especially crab, lobster, shrimp and scallops, but not fresh water fish, except for the occasional pollock. Most fresh fish, ironically, doesn’t taste fresh to me, it tastes…fishy. Anyway. Meat is actually defined as “the flesh of mammals used as food, as distinguished from that of birds and fish” which means that poultry and fish shouldn’t be on that list anyway. That leaves two meat, poultry, fish. So. Still … Continue reading →

Posted in life, crab, FOOD & DRINK, boredom, meat | Leave a reply

Two 2020 Mantras:
Adapt or die, Vote or die

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 18, 2020 by Kelli Jae BaeliMay 18, 2020

ADAPT OR DIE. That’s the new mantra. Our world has changed, and don’t you believe for a hot minute the fairy tale that things will go back to “normal.” First, they haven’t been “normal” for the last three-plus years. Second, there is no way they ever will, because too much has changed, and there are things that SHOULD CHANGE. This is a flashpoint. A pivotal point in our history. We can take the opportunity now to implement all those things that got bogged down in various sociopolitical quicksands, and create a brighter future for us all. Or we can fuck … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, SOCIOPOLITICAL, aggravation, life, problem-solving, Human Nature, elections, fear, angst, chaos, desperation, change, responsibility, disillusionment, voting, anger, ethics, morality, sadness, money, terrorism, honesty, harsh realities, death, crisis, grief, anxiety, despair, strength, danger, panic, risk, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, CURRENT AFFAIRS, US Constitution, Founding Fathers, democracy, courage, immigration, education, betrayal, adaptation, racism, Climate Change, Planet Earth, Native Americans, 2nd Amendment, fascism, equality, pandemic, donald trump, COVID19, coronavirus | Leave a reply

This-Close:
another bitch of a ditch

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 14, 2020 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 14, 2020

Change is good, they said. I believe that’s true, most days. Especially since I feel I’ve been in a bitch of a ditch for the last 7 years. Well, not the same ditch. Different ditches. But ditches, just the same. Trenches, maybe. Foxholes. Caves? Anyway, I was ready for those changes we were finally able to make. My wife was about to get a small inheritance. Just enough to get us where we needed to go, if we were lucky. But the inheritance was delayed by various machinations, a few of them due to some abject assholery perpetrated by other … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, SOCIOPOLITICAL, HUMOR, stress, life, fear, angst, chaos, HEALTH, change, disillusionment, money, harsh realities, crisis, moving, luck, anxiety, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, CURRENT AFFAIRS, pandemic, donald trump, donald trump | 2 Replies

Totes & Noodles & Flannel

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 10, 2018 by Kelli Jae BaeliMay 15, 2019

That wasn’t the weirdest thing I’ve ever done in bed–(insert your own off-color comment here).

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Posted in Uncategorized, HUMOR, Sleep, life, RELATIONSHIPS, problem-solving, conversations, domestic partnership, personality, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, marriage, weirdness, aliens, All Bets Are Off, Apocalyptic Women | Tagged humor | Leave a reply

What Happened & What’s Happening

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on September 21, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 24, 2017

Melissa and I did our first Facebook Live Stream on the 16th. Here it is. SUBJECTS: Hillary’s new book, my new releases, Melissa’s book projects, calling the cops last night because someone shot at our house.

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Posted in life, lesbians, surgery, Hillary Clinton, fear, AUTHORS, novels, police, Kelli Jae Baeli, harsh realities, BOOKS, speculative fiction genre, WRITING LIFE, indie publisher, danger, WRITING, science fiction genre, scifi genre, novellas, PUBLISHING, Lesbian fiction genre, lesfic genre, adventure genre, Apocalyptic, bestsellers, Melissa Walker-Baeli, menopause, hysterectomy, Go.Leave.Stay., The Girls in the Band, Circling Uranus, New Release, What Happened | 2 Replies

Workspaces & Tentacle Sex

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on August 17, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 17, 2017

Since my surgery at the end of May, I have had to accommodate my recovery, while still getting my work done. The whole thing has made me feel old and decrepit. Our bedroom is now in the living room because it was just easier to put everything in one room. Especially after we realized the landlords weren’t going to cut down the dead trees and falling limbs just outside our wall of windows in the bedroom. We didn’t feel safe there, so the living room became our new bedroom. Only recently, could I sit in a desk chair as I … Continue reading →

Posted in aggravation, life, problem-solving, distraction, disability, Domestic Trivia, Kelli Jae Baeli, WRITING LIFE, writing tools, weirdness, adaptation, Rain Falls, Melissa Walker-Baeli, Lesbian Zombies from Hell, The Girls in the Band, tentacle sex, tentacle sex, Computer | 2 Replies

I’m Mercury’s Bitch

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on August 17, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliNovember 3, 2020

Last night, I spent three solid hours just trying to play a game to relax. But the game wouldn’t download. then it would download but wouldn’t work. Then my screen would jiggle and shake and look like nuclear radiation was nearby. Then every conceivable blockade would happen, to keep me from getting to that relaxing gameplay. I said, “Honey? Is Mercury in retrograde? “Yes, actually.” “I’ll be damned.” I’ve never given astrological powers much credence. It’s hard for me to imagine how the constellations and the heavenly bodies have any bearing on how my life goes–how clumsy I am, how … Continue reading →

Posted in life, falling down, Domestic Trivia, accident, DOMESTICA, injury, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, metaphysics, weirdness, back pain, Mercury Retrograde | Leave a reply

The Quest for a Comfortable Chair

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on August 11, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 11, 2017

I fear I must be a special needs child…er…adult… After my military injuries, I was told I’d never walk again. I went from a wheelchair to a scooter, to forearm crutches. Now, I’m walking just fine…except when I’m not. It took years to get myself back on my feet. Now, I have certain limitations that I have always tried to address with clever ergonomic solutions–physical, and otherwise. Ergonomics is not just about efficiency, it’s about comfort. While I always streamline and arrange my workspace to address ease of use, I also must be comfortable, physically. Problem is, my spine doesn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in life, pain, problem-solving, disability, occupational hazard, bad customer service, SHOPPING, injury, WRITING LIFE, indie publisher, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, Purple Cushion, ergonomics, comfort, back pain, neck pain, chairs | Tagged comfort, Purple Cushion | 2 Replies

Projects, Pitfalls, Promise

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on July 31, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 11, 2020

Shame on me. I haven’t posted a blog in a long time. SO much going on with us lately. Dealing with sudden health issues happening all at once, burned out, exhausted, feeling ill all the time, I was certainly not inspired to write. So I decided to take a 6-month sabbatical. It turned into 8 months when I found out in the middle of it I needed major surgery. So, I had to face my #2 biggest fear, (surgery) and I’ve been recovering from a full abdominal hysterectomy, and after almost 8 weeks, I’m still having some issues, which I … Continue reading →

Posted in fat, life, pain, surgery, distraction, change, novels, Kelli Jae Baeli, occupational hazard, harsh realities, novelist, injury, TRAVEL, WRITING LIFE, independent author, bad writing, AKA Investigations series, Building Character, FOOD & DRINK, novellas, novelwriting, Fiction Writing, marriage, methodology, adaptation, Rain Falls, Rain Falls, Pitfall, New Harbor Witches, Pooly Fall, Melissa Walker-Baeli, menopause, hysterectomy, organic, Go.Leave.Stay., Lesbian Zombies from Hell, 2 Dollar Shots, Life Everywhere | 2 Replies

Thoughts Before the Knife

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 24, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 11, 2020

I am terrified. I am courageous. I have braved so many things that terrified me. Things I thought I’d never survive. And here I am, “having survove.” I understand that my fear is born of the unknown, where the most potent fear often makes camp. While this is a brand new experience that has no equal, no comparison, I know more now about what is happening to me than I ever have before. And each time I learn more, I have one more tool in my tote to get this job done. I say frequently that You have to be … Continue reading →

Posted in stress, life, surgery, meaning, fear, hope, harsh realities, gynecology, GYN, anxiety, strength, courage, menopause, hysterectomy | Leave a reply

Goodies, Captured Critters & Politics

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 9, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 4, 2017

Sort of a quick diary entry of our day, with our usual adventures with photography. Allergy shot today (only 28 more to go. LOL) Afterward, we had a joyful visit to Barnes & Noble (a rare treat these days) and got some goodies. Melissa bought me a pen-cup I loved, and we of course bought some books too. Tesla: The Life & Times of an Electric Messiah, Pocket Birds of North America, Speeches That Changed the World, The Total Outdoorsman (read: outdoorswoman–sexist bastards.) and a fabulous journal. On the way home, we saw a fox with an injured paw. Followed … Continue reading →

Posted in life, video, DOMESTICA, BOOKS, reading, ENTERTAINMENT, CURRENT AFFAIRS, CREATURES, photography, cameras | Leave a reply

Nom Nom Nom de Plume

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 22, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliNovember 3, 2020

How delicious. To be someone else. To reinvent oneself. I’m not talking about who you are at your core, but about characteristics that might not be serving you anymore. I’ve done it several times over, and not only with names. As long ago as my early twenties, I began referring to myself and introducing myself to others by another name. Eventually, it led me to legally change it. Psychologically, that was one of the best decisions I ever made for my health. I maintain that the name-change wasn’t running AWAY from something, but running TO. Seeking identity. I wanted to … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized, life, problem-solving, happiness, PSYCHOLOGY, change, metaphor, Kelli Jae Baeli, SCIENCE, self-awareness, evolution, need, Relocation, TRAVEL, PHILOSOPHY, novelwriting, critics, adventure, courage, coping skills, Operation Homestead | Leave a reply

Operation Homostead & Dooflingywhatsit

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on February 24, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 5, 2017

While I’m battling The Change of Life, we are also dealing with A Change of Life. Major changes on the horizon, all of which we have chosen for ourselves, which of course, makes it easier to weather. Our decision to make homesteading our goal, had to begin with all the preliminaries. Where? When? How? We know we want to settle in central Wisconsin, mostly because Melissa is from that area, and around Chicago, and her family is all there. She needs to be close to her grandmother, who is well into her 90’s and has had some health scares. But Melissa has … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, aggravation, stress, life, problem-solving, experience, growth, change, hope, Kelli Jae Baeli, DOMESTICA, harsh realities, moving, Relocation, TRAVEL, anxiety, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), risk, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, marriage, sacrifice, courage, menopause | 2 Replies

A Toxic Person

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 19, 2016 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 5, 2017

This is precisely the thing I am living right now. I needed this reminder to hold my head high, knowing that what any toxic person might say or do to impugn me, I can choose courage and integrity, that I have the truth on my side, and that thinking, discerning people will understand that. ‪#‎TruthWins‬

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Posted in life, Human Nature, truth, angst, annoying people, lies, society, ethics, honesty, harsh realities, liars | Leave a reply

Full-Contact Leaf-Blowing

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 14, 2015 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 5, 2017

Sore today. Took a fall while leaf-blowing on the back patio yesterday. My foot slid out of my nurse’s clog, (yes I know, not outside yard-working shoes, but hey, they’re insanely comfortable) and I bent my ankle over, then fell, landing on my opposite knee, and both hands on the patio stones. The leaf blower landed in the pond. My knee, my foot/ankle, both wrists and even my left shoulder joint (a recurring issue) were screwed. (It’s funny, how something like that happens so fast, you sort of wake up on the ground and have to use your memory to … Continue reading →

Posted in life, falling down, accident, DOMESTICA | Leave a reply

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Quotes from Kelli Jae Baeli

"Our definition of war needs updating to reflect our modern world. The Founding Fathers could not have anticipated the Internet. Cyberspace is now the new battlefield, & so that means treason applies to this situation with the Trump administration."

Politics Quotes

"People feel removed from sexism. 'I'm not a sexist, but I'm not a feminist.' They think there's this fuzzy middle ground. There's no fuzzy middle ground. You either believe that women are people or you don't. It's that simple." (Joss Whedon)

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GA may be #1 place for biz, but we’re #48 in mental health, #2 in uninsured. #1 in maternal mortality & new HIV cases, #9 in gun violence. For too many, Kemp’s Georgia doesn’t include them. Why? Because #KempDoesntCare

As Governor, I’ll lead #OneGeorgia that’s #1 for all of us.

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20 May

NEW RELEASE from bestselling, genre-hopping Indie author, Kelli Jae Baeli. In 2054, history teacher Mercy Rocah is sentenced to banishment. What she discovers will make her question everything she thought was true.

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20 May

NEW RELEASE! Mercy Rocah isn't sorry she killed a man, she's only sorry she couldn't kill him twice. Free download on KU, or buy for temporarily low price of $2.99! #DomesticSuspense #Speculative #LGBTQ #Fiction #NewBook

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PamKeithFLPam Keith, Esq.@PamKeithFL·

18 May

13 Circuits, 13 justices

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cooltxchickTy Ross@cooltxchick·

19 May

Moving forward, I will be referring to Elon bros, trolls, and stans as Muskrats. Yep, that's it...Elon's Muskrats...

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