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Kelli Jae Baeli

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Category Archives: CREATURES

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Beady Eyes in the Trees:
what the fuck is that?

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on June 1, 2019 by Kelli Jae BaeliJune 1, 2019

So, the other night, my wife and I were taking the dogs out and I had on my headlamp, as usual I always look around first, just in case. Not only have there been reports of coyotes trotting down our street, but we have all kinds of critters in the area, because we are surrounded by wooded areas– Possums, raccoons, foxes, armadillos….and I’m just cautious that way. I don’t like walking into a dark area, or having the dogs do that, without knowing what’s out there. Anyhoo….I was waiting, and sweeping my light around the trees, and noticed some beady … Continue reading →

Posted in HOBBIES, photography, wildlife, animals, Domestic Trivia, DOMESTICA, 2 Dollar Shots | 2 Replies

In the Context of Spiders:
responses matter

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 17, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 11, 2020

I was still working on the book, as I have been all day and evening, and Melissa came in for hugs, and then i sat back down in my chair, discussing what she’d probably have to do with this book while I’m recuperating after surgery. Lots of edits on the horizon, and such. About that time, I felt something crawling on my side, up under my shirt. I’d been slapping bugs off me all day today. Since I can rarely see past the swell of my bodacious tah-tahs, I lifted my shirt and Melissa laid eyes on the thing, and shouted with … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, quirks, PSYCHOLOGY, domestic partnership, WRITING LIFE, marriage, CREATURES | Leave a reply

Goodies, Captured Critters & Politics

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 9, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 4, 2017

Sort of a quick diary entry of our day, with our usual adventures with photography. Allergy shot today (only 28 more to go. LOL) Afterward, we had a joyful visit to Barnes & Noble (a rare treat these days) and got some goodies. Melissa bought me a pen-cup I loved, and we of course bought some books too. Tesla: The Life & Times of an Electric Messiah, Pocket Birds of North America, Speeches That Changed the World, The Total Outdoorsman (read: outdoorswoman–sexist bastards.) and a fabulous journal. On the way home, we saw a fox with an injured paw. Followed … Continue reading →

Posted in reading, ENTERTAINMENT, CURRENT AFFAIRS, CREATURES, photography, cameras, life, video, DOMESTICA, BOOKS | Leave a reply

Day of the Turkeys

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on April 1, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 5, 2017

For our first wedding anniversary, Melissa and I went to Onyx cave in Eureka Springs. Heading out, we were, as usual, watching for good pictures, our cameras at the ready, as I steered the Avalanche (whom we lovingly call Ava Lanche, as in French style Launch-SHAY. She is like another one of our pets.) Just down the road on Highway 23, we stopped to take photos of a tree full of turkey vultures. Creepy and wonderful. This was balanced by a precious little bluebird Melissa captured nearby. But not a turkey bluebird. We were starving, but thought we’d just stop … Continue reading →

Posted in Arkansas, ENTERTAINMENT, restaurants, Also Known as Sleepy Cat Peak, birds, photography, Driving, squirrels, happiness, cameras, CREATIVITY, anniversary, Bigfoot, TRAVEL | Leave a reply

Spider-Cabal

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on January 14, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 5, 2017

So last night, we got in bed and were reading, trying to relax after our incident with smacking into a deer on the way home. While ironically reading about prepping for various disasters and emergency situations, I felt a little tickle near my ribs. My first thought was that it might be a member of the arachnid species, but my mind immediately soothed, It could just be a wayward hair, or a cat’s tail, or Noodle’s whiskers. With impressive constraint, I pointed beside me. “Baby, is there something in the bed right here?” Melissa looked down and simultaneously shot out … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, fear, DOMESTICA, spiders | Leave a reply

Reproach Beyond a Dog (poem)

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 8, 2013 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 8, 2013

(I wrote this poem years ago, but now understand even more why this issue is such a big deal for me. As an HSP, certain stimuli is maddening to me, and the barking of a dog is probably the number one thing that will drive me insane…anyway, that issue was the inspiration for this poem. P.S. no animals were harmed in the making of this poem). from Yin & Yang: Poetry & Lyrics From Both Sides of my Disposition   Reproach Beyond A Dog A soothing ritual, nightly enacted; a process habitual, rightly exacted: book on her chest, rum tea … Continue reading →

Posted in triggers, BOOKS, stress, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, life, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), problem-solving, sensitivity, dogs, Yin & Yang, PSYCHOLOGY, WRITING, harsh realities, Sociology, revenge, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, poem, poetry | Tagged barking | Leave a reply

Curse of Cache La Poudre (novella)

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on February 7, 2013 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

My new novella. Danica and Rikki have missed their plane, which couldn’t be worse news because now they might just miss their own wedding. When a pilot of a small plane offers to fly them there himself, they jump at the chance; after all, the man swears he has one short stop to deliver supplies to a ranger station in Cache la Poudre, then it’s clear skies all the way. The only trouble is, the stop along the way turns into a destination all of its own, when the pilot, telling the women they’re his cargo, delivers them into the … Continue reading →

Posted in Colorado, GENRES, BOOKS, adventure genre, Fiction, WRITING, SEXUALITY, novellas, adventure, lesbians, AUTHORS, Curse of Cache La Poudre, horses, Lesbian fiction genre, Kelli Jae Baeli, lesfic genre | Tagged wilderness | Leave a reply

As You Were: “well written and highly enjoyable romance, mystery and intrigue, with a light touch of humor”

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on September 1, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 1, 2012

Review As You Were by Kelli Jae Baeli Singer/songwriter Tru Morgan is totally in love with her live in girl friend Brittany (Brit) Jabot. Together they share a wonderful home on Red Mountain, Colorado. Their lives are idyllic, filled with their dreams, romantic nights and  riding their beloved horses in a fairy tale, snowy setting. Life just couldn’t get much better for them……. Until one day, a malicious chain of events ends up being the indirect cause cause of a tragic accident. Tru finds herself fighting to find the life she once had with Brit. This in itself is an … Continue reading →

Posted in WRITING, Smashwords, women, Affinity eBooks, romance, AUTHORS, PUBLISHING, horses, As You Were, Kelli Jae Baeli, Colorado, BOOKS, Amazon, Book Reviews | Tagged Mountains | Leave a reply

Birds & Bees (with giggling)

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 14, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 6, 2013

NOTE TO READER: I’ve always found the word “chicken” to be comical. I don’t know why. Thus, I will be giggling as I write about them. So…. How exactly do birds do it? Let’s use chickens, [hehehe] shall we? Roosters fancy themselves clever little bastards. If they want to mate, they’ll call the hens out to dinner–which is usually grain on the ground. He lets them start their dinner and then when they are focused on that, he moves in for the kill, without so much as a smooth pick-up line.   We’ve all got that image of a rooster … Continue reading →

Posted in procreation, eggs, HUMOR, birds, bees, CREATURES | Tagged hornets, reproduction, mating, kama sutra | 2 Replies

Pickles, Chills, & Snakes

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 8, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 26, 2015

[This is another writing exercise between me and another writer. We each come up with a subject and both blog it, and don’t see each other’s version until after we’ve posted. It was my turn, and I suggested three unrelated nouns, made to relate in one piece. I chose pickles, chills and snakes.] FADE IN INT. HOUSE – DAY Two people are standing in front of a fireplace, warming their hands. We’ll call them MELANIE and BARBARA. They have been reading Dr. Seuss books all evening and are now taking a break. BARBARA reaches over and swipes her hand across … Continue reading →

Posted in snakes, HUMOR, AUTHORS, Kelli Jae Baeli, blogging, WRITING | Tagged script, Dr. Seuss, writing exercise, chills, pickles | Leave a reply

Cows With Guns

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 7, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 6, 2013

My beloved and I have made this pact, starting yesterday, that we would pick a subject and blog it separately, just to see what each of us would come up with. My suggestion yesterday was “Are writers born or made?” Hers, for today, was “Cows with Guns.” Guess which one of us is more cerebral, and which one the goob? She also informed me that the title is from a song called “Cows with guns.” Who knew? I didn’t even do any research on that one except to glance over a Wikipedia page and notice it was the title of … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, Kelli Jae Baeli, blogging, guns, WRITING, cows, Eddie Izzard | Tagged Minnie Driver, Men at Work, freewriting | Leave a reply

The Extended Metaphor of Us

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 7, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 7, 2012

She flew in under my radar. buzzed my ivory tower, until I noticed her there, gracing the sky with her beauty, like an elegant, fragile bird. When I stopped searching the sky for Harpies and pterodactyls, I saw her…strong in her weaknesses, swooping and ascending, wings white as snow, reflecting the sunlight of hope. And when she landed, and I looked into her azure eyes, I saw her soul, her damaged but still strong wings, and I stroked her, felt the softness of her feathers, smelled the scent of wind and rain, heard the beauty of her song. And I … Continue reading →

Posted in obsession, passion, birds, descriptive writing, dreams, RELATIONSHIPS, happiness, love, beauty, metaphor, hope | Tagged comfort | 4 Replies

Chicken-Proper

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 26, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 12, 2013

The tendency for some humans to be weak-minded disturbs me sometimes. So often, it is easier to embrace the easy answer of “I don’t know” over the more difficult response, “I don’t know, but I’ll try to find out.” Example: we’ve often heard the alleged conundrum “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” as if this is some mind-bender of a riddle. It’s not as inexplicable as all that. To wit: from a scientific perspective, at one time, there were no chickens, and chickens appeared in the evolutionary chain because two non-chickens mated, created a zygote (first cell) of … Continue reading →

Posted in evergreen, satire, parody, intelligence, HUMOR, evolution, ignorance, chickens | Tagged riddle, egg, conundrum, chicken or the egg | Leave a reply

Deerly Beloved

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on July 25, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliJune 24, 2012

Things can change in a nano-second. One minute, you’re moving along in your life, perhaps even having a great day and feeling hopeful, and the next, you are reminded of how precarious life can be. Last night Kelly and I had one of those moments. If anything had been slightly different, it’s possible we would not be alive. We had spent the entire weekend enjoying various activities and meals and socializing with friends. We were on our way back from a fly-fishing excursion in Deckers, and moving through the pitch blackness of Highway 85, between Sedalia and Highlands Ranch, near … Continue reading →

Posted in deer, ethics, sadness, police, mortality, accident, Colorado, TRAVEL, sensitivity, danger, Driving | Tagged euthanasia, wildlife | 2 Replies

Apostrophe Creature

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on June 17, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 6, 2013

In Hamlet, Shakespeare said, There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Peeking at me from behind a tree We cannot pretend to understand all the mysteries of this world we live in. I came across one today while walking in the rain. I spotted something odd, and started taking pictures.  I’d never seen anything like it and still am not sure what it was. A creature of some sort, shaped like an apostrophe, but moving around of its own volition. It had little snail-like horns at the top of its head. … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, ENTERTAINMENT, CREATURES, satire | Tagged apostrophe | 4 Replies

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Quotes from Kelli Jae Baeli

"If you wash your apple with apple-scented soap, you're flirting with irony."

Politics Quotes

"People feel removed from sexism. 'I'm not a sexist, but I'm not a feminist.' They think there's this fuzzy middle ground. There's no fuzzy middle ground. You either believe that women are people or you don't. It's that simple." (Joss Whedon)

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“All stories have to at least try to explain some small portion of the meaning of life. You can do that in 20 minutes, and 15 inches. I still remember a piece that the great Barry Bearak did in The Miami Herald some 30 years ago. It was a nothing story, really: Some high school kid was leading a campaign to ban books he found offensive from the school library. Bearak didn’t even have an interview with the kid, who was ducking him. The story was short, mostly about the issue. But Bearak had a fact that he withheld until the kicker. The fact put the whole story, subtly, in complete perspective. The kicker noted the true, wonderful fact that the kid was not in school that day because “his ulcer was acting up.” Meaning of life, 15 inches.”

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strafingSTRAY-fing To attack - ground troops or installations - by airplanes with machine-gun fire. Slang. to reprimand viciously.

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"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play and have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating... you finish off as an orgasm." ~ George Carlin

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