Category Archives: grief

Two 2020 Mantras:
Adapt or die, Vote or die

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

ADAPT OR DIE. That’s the new mantra. Our world has changed, and don’t you believe for a hot minute the fairy tale that things will go back to “normal.” First, they haven’t been “normal” for the last three-plus years. Second, there is no way they ever will, because too much has changed, and there are things that SHOULD CHANGE. This is a flashpoint. A pivotal point in our history. We can take the opportunity now to implement all those things that got bogged down in various sociopolitical quicksands, and create a brighter future for us all. Or we can fuck … Continue reading →

To my readers: Be brave, be strong

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

  TO ALL YOU LOVELY READERS: There are formidable challenges ahead of us. This will be hard. So take some time to enjoy nature, to read, as you always do, if you need to get yourself grounded. But then do your part to make things better. If I’ve learned one thing by studying human nature and writing about it all these years, I’ve learned that the human spirit is also formidable. We’ll get through this. Be brave, even when you feel scared. Be strong, even as your hands shake. Smile and hug people. Show love and compassion and resiliency, even … Continue reading →

Stupid, Honorable, High-Road Seeking Fool

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

In a post from a few years ago (two posts, actually, under Going to Denver Because You’re Dead) I chronicled this transition of moving to Colorado to start a new life; again reinventing myself, with the hope of somehow finding my new place in this ever-changing, ever-challenging world.  I got rid of three-quarters of everything i owned, packed a U-Haul trailer behind my Cherryot, and off I went. A journey that lasted 30 hours on many days of little sleep. By the time I arrived in Denver, i was exhausted, lost, and had this sensation of being on another planet. … Continue reading →

The Fourth Betrayal

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

NOTE: So, in my seeking help when i needed it, for my recent betrayals and abandonments, the counselor i went to see called the next day to inform me she couldn’t see me anymore and for a really stupid reason. I tried to reason with her on the phone, but she had to stand by what she felt was her principals, but which was only LOFTY IDEAS getting in the way of her ability to give the actual care she had sworn to as a medical professional. Finally frustrated beyond words and feeling even worse, i hung up on her. … Continue reading →

Letter to a Battered Heart

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Open letter to a friend whose heart is battered…. I remember that you were there for me when I was going through a lot and had no one. So I will do my best to be here for you, now. In this life, you have to separate your mental and emotional things, your habits, your beliefs–like laundry. Whites over there, colors over there, delicates there. You can’t throw them all in together or the colors will bleed and what was once pure and white is now sullied. Some things must be kept apart, some things put together, and you always … Continue reading →

Father, no–Brother

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

I had been asleep only four hours when I woke up crying. A dream. I was at some kind of family gathering, a reunion, perhaps. I was stocking some refreshments, but I was being paid to work at this place.  (I haven’t done that kind of work in 20 years). From my peripheral vision, i saw a man walk in, and something compelled me to take a good look at him. It was my father.  My dead father. No, it was my brother, who looked just like him, now. I hadn’t seen my brother in something like 13 years. He … Continue reading →

Lights! Camera! Grief.

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Is it just me? Am I the only one who is chagrined by the way a tragedy is followed immediately by family members who go on Larry King and talk about how grief-stricken they are that they just lost a loved one? This Buffalo Plane crash of Thursday/Friday. I find it completely offensive that those people are already being interviewed on news shows like Larry King, merely a day after it happened… Remember those disparaging comments about the “ambulance chasers” of yesteryear? This is worse. This is about people who ostensibly loved another person and lost that person tragically, who … Continue reading →

Brain Dump: Mortality & Meaning

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Okay, I know this is going to be less a blog, and more a journal entry, but whatever. Consider it the first in a series of brain dumps. <<–Look, i even made a graphic for it…. Onward…. I usually try to see the bright side of things, and when I can’t do that, I try to see the funny side. Anyone who reads this blog knows that. And often the dark side can be funny, if you know how to manipulate the data. But this morning, I think my brain is in some other gear….PARK, maybe. It hits me like … Continue reading →