Category Archives: need

Nom Nom Nom de Plume

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

How delicious. To be someone else. To reinvent oneself. I’m not talking about who you are at your core, but about characteristics that might not be serving you anymore. I’ve done it several times over, and not only with names. As long ago as my early twenties, I began referring to myself and introducing myself to others by another name. Eventually, it led me to legally change it. Psychologically, that was one of the best decisions I ever made for my health. I maintain that the name-change wasn’t running AWAY from something, but running TO. Seeking identity. I wanted to … Continue reading →

ADRIFT (poem)

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Tossed, blown off course by the storm, My skin pink from previous sunlight, I stand on the deck and imagine she is there waiting for me to reach shore If I can just glimpse her in the distance like a soothing port of call I know I’ll find my way. But when the sail lies flaccid and I am adrift in the water, I think I can hear the gurgling below, Seeping in, Weighing me down. My vessel riding low in the lapping waves. And bailing water, I ache for the succor of her embrace, The softness of her lips … Continue reading →

Stupid, Honorable, High-Road Seeking Fool

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

In a post from a few years ago (two posts, actually, under Going to Denver Because You’re Dead) I chronicled this transition of moving to Colorado to start a new life; again reinventing myself, with the hope of somehow finding my new place in this ever-changing, ever-challenging world.  I got rid of three-quarters of everything i owned, packed a U-Haul trailer behind my Cherryot, and off I went. A journey that lasted 30 hours on many days of little sleep. By the time I arrived in Denver, i was exhausted, lost, and had this sensation of being on another planet. … Continue reading →

Things i don’t need.

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

  I don’t need ovaries, nor the monthly hemorrhaging that evolution has foisted upon me; this survival mechanism meant to perpetuate the species via progeny. I have not and will not ever experience life in my womb (apparently not even of the pleasurable, stimulating variety, if present is any indication of future). Even if i were young enough to bear children, I neither have the desire nor the likelihood of doing so as a lesbian who would never, by definition, sleep with a man, and could not fund the artificial process. I don’t need that lizard brain interpretation of the … Continue reading →