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Kelli Jae Baeli

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Home→Categories HUMOR→satire

Category Archives: satire

the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

Chicken-Proper

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 26, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 12, 2013

The tendency for some humans to be weak-minded disturbs me sometimes. So often, it is easier to embrace the easy answer of “I don’t know” over the more difficult response, “I don’t know, but I’ll try to find out.” Example: we’ve often heard the alleged conundrum “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” as if this is some mind-bender of a riddle. It’s not as inexplicable as all that. To wit: from a scientific perspective, at one time, there were no chickens, and chickens appeared in the evolutionary chain because two non-chickens mated, created a zygote (first cell) of … Continue reading →

Posted in evergreen, satire, parody, intelligence, HUMOR, evolution, ignorance, chickens | Tagged riddle, egg, conundrum, chicken or the egg | Leave a reply

Apostrophe Creature

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on June 17, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 6, 2013

In Hamlet, Shakespeare said, There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Peeking at me from behind a tree We cannot pretend to understand all the mysteries of this world we live in. I came across one today while walking in the rain. I spotted something odd, and started taking pictures.  I’d never seen anything like it and still am not sure what it was. A creature of some sort, shaped like an apostrophe, but moving around of its own volition. It had little snail-like horns at the top of its head. … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, ENTERTAINMENT, CREATURES, satire | Tagged apostrophe | 4 Replies

Eternal Earthbound Pets

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 27, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 7, 2013

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved.  But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind?   Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind. http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Home_Page.html 

Continue reading →
Posted in HUMOR, CREATIVITY, society, memes, Rapture, Facebook, ENTERTAINMENT, ATHEISM, atheist humor, Sociology, satire | Tagged Eternal Earth-Bound Pets | Leave a reply

Devout Follower seeks Advice from Dr. Laura….

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 27, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 7, 2013

Dear Dr. Laura,   Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.   I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know … Continue reading →

Posted in logical fallacy, ethics, reason, atheist humor, BIBLE, Sociology, SEXUALITY, homosexuality, PHILOSOPHY, myth, HUMOR, RELIGION, WEBSITES, Human Nature, Fundamentalism, satire, truth, truthiness, God, zealotry, Christianity, killing for god, parody, society | Tagged Dr. Laura, D.A.F.T., Atheist Alliance | Leave a reply

Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on June 4, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 10, 2013

  [this is a writing exercise I do, wherein I take a list of unrelated subjects and phrases in my files (or through suggestions from readers) and try to connect them in prose…and it’s usually humorous. It also teaches you how to construct segues. The items in this list are, Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys.] so…here we go…. I am a pariah. I know this, though the usual response from my friends to this proclamation is a dismissive, “No you’re not…you’re just rare and wonderful.” Like a good steak. So I’m only good for a food source. One of … Continue reading →

Posted in CREATURES, satire, HUMOR, pariah, movies, Sex toys, Monkey, WRITING, ENTERTAINMENT, Sociology, cats | Tagged polydactyl, opposable thumbs | Leave a reply

Her Floxiness in 3D

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on February 25, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 10, 2013

Yeah. Just as I suspected. Floxy turned out to be……..A spam-I-Need-your-help-in-the-form-of-your wallet…what do you think I should do, Dear Readers? Maybe I should contact her and tell her I am heartbroken that she only wanted my money and that I thought she might be “the one” and I want to marry her and have lots of babies. Hello Dearest , Thanks for your responds, i wen’t through your profile and fined it intresting the expression of love , How are you today?I hope this massage will find you in the best of your health, I really like to have a … Continue reading →

Posted in society, TECHNOLOGY, memes, spam, liars, PEEVES, HUMOR, ENTERTAINMENT, RELATIONSHIPS, Sociology, Internet Dating, satire, Internet, parody, annoying people, soliciting | Tagged Floxy | 2 Replies

The God Banana

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on August 20, 2008 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 7, 2013

On YouTube, recently, a video was posted of a Christian program called “The Way of the Master” wherein the hosts, Ray Comfort and actor, Kirk Cameron gave their argument for creationism based on the “design” of a banana. Included in their argument were points they said showed that the banana was a product of Intelligent Design, i.e., God. They said the banana is shaped to fit the human hand; that it’s color-coded so we know when it’s not ripe, when it’s overly ripe, and when it’s just ripe enough; that it has a handy pull tab, and perforations to allow … Continue reading →

Posted in FOOD & DRINK, myth, truth, PHILOSOPHY, skepticism, God, RELIGION, satire, Internet, truthiness, lies, creationism, faith, Christianity, video, SCIENCE, ATHEISM, reason, logical fallacy, ENTERTAINMENT, atheist humor, HUMOR | Tagged coconut, banana, Kirk Cameron, Banana video, Ray Comfort | Leave a reply

Door Christians

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on June 12, 2003 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 8, 2013

Well here’s my latest little adventure…I’m one of those people who has to have a certain amount of control over my environment to be happy. When that gets disrupted, it fucks with my Chi, as I like to say. As a songwriter, I often spend long hours working on tracking my music in my home studio. I was in the middle of recording a new song and had already started over twice, and really had it going good this time when…. …there was a knock at the door. My dog, Giz, went to barking, (‘Cause it fucks with his Chi, … Continue reading →

Posted in EMOTIONS, life, PEEVES, satire, rudeness, privacy, RIGHTS, door, strangers, personal space, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, soliciting, RELATIONSHIPS, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), religious zealots, PSYCHOLOGY, RELIGION, annoying people, zealotry, Christianity, ATHEISM, frustration, society, Sociology, HUMOR, DOMESTICA, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, aggravation, triggers | Tagged interruption | Leave a reply

Quotes from Kelli Jae Baeli

"Gay people exist because straight people have sex. So if you are straight and don't like gay people, then stop having sex."

Politics Quotes

"People feel removed from sexism. 'I'm not a sexist, but I'm not a feminist.' They think there's this fuzzy middle ground. There's no fuzzy middle ground. You either believe that women are people or you don't. It's that simple." (Joss Whedon)

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Poets are interested mostly in death and commas. ~ Carolyn Kizer

Word of the Day

sine qua non sin-ih-kwah-NON; -NOHN; sy-nih-kway noun: An essential condition or element; an indispensable thing.

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"When you’re scientifically literate, the world looks different to you. It’s a particular way of questioning what you see and hear. When empowered by this state of mind, objective realities matter. These are the truths of the world that exist outside of whatever your belief system tells you." ~ Neil DeGrasse Tyson

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Kelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthorFollow

33 bestsellers/60 books. #LoveAnimals #Treehugger #Democrat #DisabledVeteran #Humanist #Feminist #LGBTQ #cannabis #NoMoreSnowflakes #BLM #MeToo #organic

Kelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor

KelliJaeBaeliKelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor@KelliJaeBaeli·

4 Jul

My wife just said, "The most dangerous animal on the planet is a--"
And I interjected, like I'm on Jeopardy,"What is a white Republican man?"
{buzzer sound} "No. The most dangerous animal on the planet is an angry woman with nothing left to lose." #GenderWar #WarOnWomen

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MichaelWarbur17Michael Warburton@MichaelWarbur17·

3 Jul

One tree was cut years ago and the big one has been holding onto and feeding it ever since.
They "wake up" together in the spring and "go to sleep" together in the autumn.🌳

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KelliJaeBaeliKelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor@KelliJaeBaeli·

4 Jul

The Shocking Paper Predicting the End of Democracy https://politi.co/2zZ90hi via @politicomag

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SnarkQueenBeeSnark Queen Bee 💙💉🐶 ♌️@SnarkQueenBee·

2 Jul

I keep seeing these, so I made my own.

It is quite telling - women don’t appear to be the ones who are the “emotional” gender.

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Janabw81🔥JanaB Warrior Angel🔥@Janabw81·

3 Jul

It’s already begun…🤬
A man who raped a 12-year-old has been awarded joint custody of her child despite being convicted of her rape and another sexual assault on a child.
https://news.yahoo.com/man-raped-12-old-awarded-114904992.html?soc_src=social-sh&soc_trk=tw&tsrc=twtr via @YahooNews

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