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Kelli Jae Baeli

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Category Archives: depression

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A Series of Things:
What I'm doing, not doing, and hoping to do

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on September 26, 2020 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 26, 2020

Series writing has been a thorn in my side. I know the consensus is that books do better as a part of a series, but when you’re an Indie Author and Publisher with no employees, choices must be made. I don’t feel I can keep up anymore with my series, nor do I want to. I also don’t like feeling obligated to write something. I’d rather write what inspires me at any given moment. With this in mind, my intentions are to do one more book in each of my series: #3 in New Harbor Witches #4 in Rain Falls … Continue reading →

Posted in depression, elections, fear, angst, disillusionment, Kelli Jae Baeli, BOOKS, WRITING LIFE, anxiety, independent author, sensitivity, WRITING, Xanax, Writer's Block, novelwriting, reality, Fiction Writing, adventure genre, democracy, coping skills, Apocalyptic, dystopian genre, coronavirus, COVID-19, Ban Mercy, The Rona, The Reichers, and The Rez, Zoloft | Leave a reply

Furiously Happy:
My brain hungered for humor. Was absolutely famished for fun.

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on August 24, 2020 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 11, 2020

I am very picky about the books I read, and it’s hard to find anything that doesn’t either piss me off or bore me. That might just be a product of having been an Indie Author, honing her craft for 30 years, or maybe it’s just me being too damn critical. But I never had problems in my younger years. Like say, my twenties and before. But then, I didn’t write my first book until I was 26. So maybe it really is that being an author affects my ability to enjoy reading other authors that aren’t top-notch. Garbage in, … Continue reading →

Posted in depression, stress, WRITING CRAFT, distraction, happiness, desperation, Social anxiety, writer, harsh realities, mental illness, self-awareness, novelist, BOOKS, WRITING LIFE, anxiety, despair, Depressive Realism, sensitivity, Social Psychology, ENTERTAINMENT, reality, memoir genre, CURRENT AFFAIRS, coping skills, Humor genre, Book review, Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy, Lets Pretend This Never Happened, reading | Leave a reply

Fish Should Learn to Walk

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on February 29, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliFebruary 29, 2012

I think I’ve moved past my most recent dark night of the soul. This time it took about 7 weeks. Had a couple of things go my way, though, (finding a new apartment to move to, which I love), and an online relationship deepening into intriguing and exciting possibilities….possibilities that become pissabilities…As is the trend with my life, I don’t get anything good without an addendum of aggravation or disappointment. Some reminder that no, fortune does not often smile on me and the Luck Fairies either have a millennium-old vendetta against my soul, have no GPS, or are somewhat retarded. … Continue reading →

Posted in depression, dating, RELATIONSHIPS, lesbians, women, Internet Dating, romance, love, Internet, universe, hope, irony, writer, luck, chemistry | 6 Replies

Stupid, Honorable, High-Road Seeking Fool

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on February 22, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliJuly 31, 2013

In a post from a few years ago (two posts, actually, under Going to Denver Because You’re Dead) I chronicled this transition of moving to Colorado to start a new life; again reinventing myself, with the hope of somehow finding my new place in this ever-changing, ever-challenging world.  I got rid of three-quarters of everything i owned, packed a U-Haul trailer behind my Cherryot, and off I went. A journey that lasted 30 hours on many days of little sleep. By the time I arrived in Denver, i was exhausted, lost, and had this sensation of being on another planet. … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, Aging, depression, aggravation, stress, life, RELATIONSHIPS, conflict, PTSD, problem-solving, exes, Human Nature, Driving, guilt, women, meaning, fear, phobias, love, friendship, angst, chaos, loneliness, desperation, change, disillusionment, anger, betrayal, sadness, hope, disability, purpose, harsh realities, crisis, moving, Colorado, need, grief, luck, Relocation, U-Haul, midlife crisis, domestic violence, anxiety, apartment, despair, Lakewood, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), sensitivity, panic, WRITING, Xanax, Writer's Block, Social Psychology, trust, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, EMOTIONS | Tagged loss, anxiety attack, partners | 2 Replies

The Fourth Betrayal

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on January 22, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliFebruary 23, 2012

NOTE: So, in my seeking help when i needed it, for my recent betrayals and abandonments, the counselor i went to see called the next day to inform me she couldn’t see me anymore and for a really stupid reason. I tried to reason with her on the phone, but she had to stand by what she felt was her principals, but which was only LOFTY IDEAS getting in the way of her ability to give the actual care she had sworn to as a medical professional. Finally frustrated beyond words and feeling even worse, i hung up on her. … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, depression, stress, RELATIONSHIPS, Behavior, problem-solving, truth, women, friendship, desperation, PSYCHOLOGY, responsibility, disillusionment, suicide, betrayal, ethics, sadness, writer, honesty, self-awareness, email, reason, grief, luck, malpractice, triggers, WRITING LIFE, despair, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), sensitivity, Social Psychology | Tagged disagreement, defense, debate, paradigms, opinions, outcast, logic, letters | Leave a reply

Creativity, Intelligence & Depressive Realism

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 26, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliJune 30, 2012

From a Facebook post I made, a thought-provoking subject emerged. Jae Baeli : “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” ~ Ernest Hemingway Tina Harada likes this. Amanda Gulledge I frowned when I read that so I would feel more intelligent. Candace Lynn Breaux Is that why I am unhappy so much of the time? LOL Jae Baeli LOL. Amanda–you crack me up. Candy–probably, yes. Victoria Bard love it…so true! Sandi Partee hmmm…so does that mean I’m not intelligent? Cause I’m happy as a lark! LOL! I understand Sandi’s reply was meant lightly, but let me just … Continue reading →

Posted in intelligence, SOCIOPOLITICAL, HUMOR, depression, life, Human Nature, genius, truth, happiness, CREATIVITY, muse, inspiration, PSYCHOLOGY, DRUGS, suicide, alcohol, mind, sadness, Kelli Jae Baeli, Insanity, writer, honesty, harsh realities, mental illness, IQ, BOOKS, Depressive Realism, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), sensitivity, WRITING, evergreen, PHILOSOPHY, BRAIN | Tagged intelligence quotient | Leave a reply

Why not Me?

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 20, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 30, 2013

Pulitzer and Nobel Prize-winning author, Pearl S. Buck  said, “A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create~ so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off…They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, depression, stress, life, RELATIONSHIPS, Driving, meaning, fear, romance, friendship, angst, chaos, CREATIVITY, loneliness, desperation, PSYCHOLOGY, disillusionment, AUTHORS, anger, Social anxiety, sadness, harsh realities, self-awareness, socializing, anxiety, despair, Depressive Realism, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, sensitivity | Tagged introversion, Dr. Elaine Aron, PhD | Leave a reply

Letter to a Battered Heart

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 29, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

Open letter to a friend whose heart is battered…. I remember that you were there for me when I was going through a lot and had no one. So I will do my best to be here for you, now. In this life, you have to separate your mental and emotional things, your habits, your beliefs–like laundry. Whites over there, colors over there, delicates there. You can’t throw them all in together or the colors will bleed and what was once pure and white is now sullied. Some things must be kept apart, some things put together, and you always … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, depression, dating, stress, life, RELATIONSHIPS, conflict, Behavior, exes, experience, lesbians, Human Nature, truth, guilt, women, happiness, meaning, fear, romance, love, friendship, growth, angst, loneliness, desperation, PSYCHOLOGY, lies, disillusionment, self-respect, anger, betrayal, Social anxiety, sadness, hope, Kelli Jae Baeli, honesty, girlfriends, harsh realities, communication, self-awareness, reason, grief, socializing, anxiety, despair, intimacy, sensitivity, SEXUALITY, Social Psychology, ENTERTAINMENT, PHILOSOPHY, reality, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, EMOTIONS, courage, celibacy, music, Jonatha Brooke | Leave a reply

Agnosco veteris vestigia flammae–I feel once more the scars of the old flame…

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 13, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

Most things for me, now, are in the context of being an HSP. My Sensory Processing Sensitivity is a brain architecture that will never change. It is part of me as much as DNA or eye color or ethnic origins. I know that one of my main weaknesses in this life, is that I don’t do well as a single person, and by extension, I don’t do well sexless. Those needs get in the way of my common sense in evaluating the character of some women. So I have been so bold as to place ads on adult sites, seeking … Continue reading →

Posted in depression, dating, stress, life, sex, RELATIONSHIPS, lesbians, romance, love, friendship, angst, loneliness, desperation, PSYCHOLOGY, self-awareness, Colorado, socializing, triggers, midlife crisis, anxiety, Depressive Realism, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), intimacy, SEXUALITY, Social Psychology, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS | Leave a reply

Too Much World: A Look at Highly Sensitive People

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 7, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 30, 2013

In an article in Psychology Today,* I again found comfort in the knowledge that there are others like me out there, and my particular brand of weirdness is not “damage” but an inherent brain architecture I am born with. Just like others are born with blue eyes or musical ability.I speak of those in our species who live with Sensory Processing Sensitivity, which is the scientific term for this trait. More colloquially, it is known as HSP- Highly Sensitive Person, a collection of traits that was identified in pioneering research by Elaine Aron, PhD. Regarding the nature of HSP’s, Aron … Continue reading →

Posted in intelligence, depression, stress, experience, Human Nature, fear, open relationships, angst, CREATIVITY, desperation, PSYCHOLOGY, disability, self-awareness, anxiety, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), sensitivity, Social Psychology, PHILOSOPHY, Arts, BRAIN, Sociology, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, EMOTIONS | Tagged intraversion, introversion | Leave a reply

Mid-Life Crisis, Much?

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on October 9, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. ~Dylan Thomas If aging is hard for the average person, imagine how hard it is for someone who has no current social circle, no family, no children, who works at home, is an HSP, an atheist, and a single lesbian. The greatest of these challenges is, for me, being without a partner. I am not suited to singlehood. I hate everything about it. I need someone to cook dinner for when she comes home … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, Aging, depression, life, RELATIONSHIPS, problem-solving, experience, lesbians, Human Nature, truth, meaning, fear, romance, angst, loneliness, desperation, PSYCHOLOGY, HEALTH, change, disillusionment, sadness, mortality, harsh realities, death, self-awareness, crisis, midlife crisis, anxiety, despair, Depressive Realism, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), SEXUALITY, Social Psychology, PHILOSOPHY, reality, ATHEISM, Sociology, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, EMOTIONS | Tagged maturity, getting old | 2 Replies

Creativity, Intelligence & Depressive Realism

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on September 15, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliDecember 10, 2011

 From a Facebook post i made, a thought-provoking subject emerged.  Jae Baeli : “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” ~ Ernest Hemingway Tina Harada likes this. Amanda Gulledge I frowned when I read that so I would feel more intelligent. Candace Lynn Breaux Is that why I am unhappy so much of the time? LOL Jae Baeli LOL. Amanda–you crack me up.Candy–probably, yes. Victoria Bard love it…so true! Sandi Partee hmmm…so does that mean I’m not intelligent? Cause I’m happy as a lark! LOL! I understand Sandi’s reply was meant lightly, but let me just address … Continue reading →

Posted in intelligence, depression, truth, CREATIVITY, inspiration, PSYCHOLOGY, DRUGS, suicide, alcohol, Insanity, honesty, mental illness, IQ, Depressive Realism, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP) | Leave a reply

EXTENDED STRESS Hotel.

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on April 2, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliDecember 5, 2011

My Cherryot was loaded to capacity, with the things I thought I’d need for two months, until an apartment became available.   At Extended Stay, I checked in with desk clerk–started to unload, and had to take several things up first (5 trips in elevator) before I noticed that there was a luggage cart in front with a tattooed guy leaning on it talking to another guy. “Oh a luggage cart!” I said. “I need that.” He said he only had a couple of things and rushed off to get his task done so I could have it. Meantime, I … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, depression, stress, rudeness, RELATIONSHIPS, fatigue, conflict, Driving, fear, desperation, annoying people, disillusionment, anger, betrayal, Biscuit, sadness, disability, money, harsh realities, bad customer service, conversations, crisis, moving, Colorado, Cherryot, domestic violence, anxiety, apartment, Monkey, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), sensitivity, panic, Xanax, iPhone, cats | Tagged hysteria, fire alarm, hotel, Arby's, luggage, packing | Leave a reply

Vamoosing

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 29, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 11, 2013

Suspended my Netflix account. Still packing, desperately needing boxes. Downstairs, I pulled up everything in that storage room, which was the contents brought so far from storage when I actually thought I was going to be living here permanently, and her mother had finally moved, so I could do that. But only after we had ripped up the carpet down there and cleaned the unbelievable nastiness her mother lived in. bleach fumes, up and down stairs, aching body. I realized I would have to leave some things behind because it wouldn’t fit in my car or in storage, and I … Continue reading →

Posted in frustration, depression, aggravation, life, RELATIONSHIPS, fatigue, pain, conflict, problem-solving, exes, experience, lesbians, Human Nature, Driving, fear, friendship, angst, chaos, desperation, PSYCHOLOGY, HEALTH, change, lies, disillusionment, abuse, anger, betrayal, sadness, disability, police, stairs, money, DOMESTICA, harsh realities, mental illness, crisis, moving, Colorado, herniated disc, liars, injury, PEEVES, Facebook, Relocation, U-Haul, TRAVEL, storage, domestic partnership, singlehood, domestic violence, anxiety, strength, PHILOSOPHY, Sociology, cats, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, EMOTIONS, CURRENT AFFAIRS, sacrifice, courage, coping skills, LAW, court, arrest | Tagged breakups, loss, hotel, Netflix, packing, victim, probation, credit, cowardice | Leave a reply

Held by Jell-O

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 13, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliDecember 10, 2011

This is forced blogging. I am the forcer in that sentence. I am forcing myself to just type and see what comes out because the lack of writing is just so counter-intuitive and i fear it might have some adverse affect on my psyche. I have been in a funk. A writeless funk. I haven’t worked on any of my books in progress. I haven’t even blogged. Not because i have writer’s block–as I’ve said before, I don’t suffer from writer’s block, it suffers from me. This is about mood. I don’t FEEL like it. I don’t feel like writing. … Continue reading →

Posted in depression, WRITING CRAFT, loneliness | Tagged Jell-O, Criminal Minds, comfort | 2 Replies

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Quotes from Kelli Jae Baeli

"Religion is the the most pervasive and most successful example of brainwashing ever devised."

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"People feel removed from sexism. 'I'm not a sexist, but I'm not a feminist.' They think there's this fuzzy middle ground. There's no fuzzy middle ground. You either believe that women are people or you don't. It's that simple." (Joss Whedon)

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Kelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthorFollow

33 bestsellers/60 books. #LoveAnimals #Treehugger #Democrat #DisabledVeteran #Humanist #Feminist #LGBTQ #cannabis #NoMoreSnowflakes #BLM #MeToo #organic

Kelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor

KelliJaeBaeliKelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor@KelliJaeBaeli·

10 May

I hope this monster is dying, but i noticed a long time ago that earlier pictures of him looked different, but i thought it was plastic surgery. He has not looked like this picture for years. https://twitter.com/brundle_fly/status/1524056076219387905

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KelliJaeBaeliKelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor@KelliJaeBaeli·

1 May

5 of 5 stars to The Housemaid by Freida McFadden https://goodreads.com/review/show/4699686341

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KelliJaeBaeliKelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor@KelliJaeBaeli·

25 Apr

Sure hope someone creates an alternative to Twitter, because it's now well and truly fucked with Elon Musk at the helm.

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StrictlyChristoStrictlyChristo✺🇺🇦🌻@StrictlyChristo·

23 Apr

"If someone says it's raining, and another person says it's dry, it's not your job to quote them both. Your job is to look out the fucking window and find out which is true." - Sally Claire

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mariana057mariana Z🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦@mariana057·

23 Apr

I hate it when I go to public places and people are there.

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