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Kelli Jae Baeli

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Home→Categories PSYCHOLOGY→self-awareness 1 2 >>

Category Archives: self-awareness

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Furiously Happy:
My brain hungered for humor. Was absolutely famished for fun.

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on August 24, 2020 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 11, 2020

I am very picky about the books I read, and it’s hard to find anything that doesn’t either piss me off or bore me. That might just be a product of having been an Indie Author, honing her craft for 30 years, or maybe it’s just me being too damn critical. But I never had problems in my younger years. Like say, my twenties and before. But then, I didn’t write my first book until I was 26. So maybe it really is that being an author affects my ability to enjoy reading other authors that aren’t top-notch. Garbage in, … Continue reading →

Posted in reality, self-awareness, memoir genre, depression, novelist, CURRENT AFFAIRS, stress, BOOKS, coping skills, WRITING CRAFT, WRITING LIFE, Humor genre, distraction, anxiety, Book review, happiness, despair, Jenny Lawson, desperation, Depressive Realism, Furiously Happy, Social anxiety, sensitivity, Lets Pretend This Never Happened, writer, Social Psychology, reading, harsh realities, ENTERTAINMENT, mental illness | Leave a reply

It’s a Brave New World–For Women:
I call it FemFic

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on August 23, 2018 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 10, 2020

I want a new category on Amazon that more accurately reflects the changes afoot in our ideation of a woman’s place in the world. In order to do this, I feel I have to branch out in my writing and create stories in genres that are typically male-dominated. Women need in a voice in those, too. Thus, I will be adding this new tag to all my books. I call it #FemFic. I hope all of you in the Twitterverse will use it, too–help get it going. IF it can gain traction, i will petition Amazon to include it in … Continue reading →

Posted in characters, responsibility, reading, self-respect, Social Psychology, society, novelwriting, ethics, reality, hope, coping skills, Kelli Jae Baeli, genre categories, self-awareness, courage, WRITING LIFE, TerraNeo, independent author, Snug Haven, Human Nature, indie publisher, feminism, women | Tagged FemFic | 2 Replies

Nom Nom Nom de Plume

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 22, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliNovember 3, 2020

How delicious. To be someone else. To reinvent oneself. I’m not talking about who you are at your core, but about characteristics that might not be serving you anymore. I’ve done it several times over, and not only with names. As long ago as my early twenties, I began referring to myself and introducing myself to others by another name. Eventually, it led me to legally change it. Psychologically, that was one of the best decisions I ever made for my health. I maintain that the name-change wasn’t running AWAY from something, but running TO. Seeking identity. I wanted to … Continue reading →

Posted in life, Relocation, problem-solving, TRAVEL, happiness, PHILOSOPHY, PSYCHOLOGY, novelwriting, change, critics, metaphor, adventure, Kelli Jae Baeli, courage, SCIENCE, coping skills, self-awareness, Operation Homestead, evolution, Uncategorized, need | Leave a reply

Fiction Writes Me

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on April 10, 2014 by Kelli Jae BaeliSeptember 8, 2017

Reading, especially fiction, has always been at least sometimes described as a means of escape. People read fiction to immerse themselves in someone else’s story. Perhaps because their own is too painful to contemplate. Perhaps because their own is too mundane. Whatever the reason for the escapist tendency of fiction readers, I hope there will always be plenty of them, otherwise, my profession will become a hobby. And I really am rooted in the expression of self through language. Why do I write fiction? Other than the pat answers like it’s who I am. I have to, there’s a reason … Continue reading →

Posted in muse, self-awareness, WRITING LIFE, novelwriting, Fiction Writing | 2 Replies

The Fourth Betrayal

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on January 22, 2012 by Kelli Jae BaeliFebruary 23, 2012

NOTE: So, in my seeking help when i needed it, for my recent betrayals and abandonments, the counselor i went to see called the next day to inform me she couldn’t see me anymore and for a really stupid reason. I tried to reason with her on the phone, but she had to stand by what she felt was her principals, but which was only LOFTY IDEAS getting in the way of her ability to give the actual care she had sworn to as a medical professional. Finally frustrated beyond words and feeling even worse, i hung up on her. … Continue reading →

Posted in suicide, grief, sensitivity, betrayal, luck, Behavior, Social Psychology, ethics, malpractice, problem-solving, sadness, truth, triggers, women, writer, friendship, honesty, WRITING LIFE, desperation, self-awareness, frustration, despair, PSYCHOLOGY, email, depression, responsibility, reason, stress, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, disillusionment, RELATIONSHIPS, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP) | Tagged disagreement, logic, paradigms, letters, defense, opinions, outcast, debate | Leave a reply

Why not Me?

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on December 20, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 30, 2013

Pulitzer and Nobel Prize-winning author, Pearl S. Buck  said, “A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create~ so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off…They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency … Continue reading →

Posted in desperation, despair, RELATIONSHIPS, PSYCHOLOGY, Depressive Realism, Driving, disillusionment, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, meaning, AUTHORS, fear, anger, sensitivity, romance, Social anxiety, friendship, sadness, angst, harsh realities, frustration, chaos, self-awareness, depression, CREATIVITY, socializing, stress, loneliness, anxiety, life | Tagged introversion, Dr. Elaine Aron, PhD | Leave a reply

Letter to a Battered Heart

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 29, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

Open letter to a friend whose heart is battered…. I remember that you were there for me when I was going through a lot and had no one. So I will do my best to be here for you, now. In this life, you have to separate your mental and emotional things, your habits, your beliefs–like laundry. Whites over there, colors over there, delicates there. You can’t throw them all in together or the colors will bleed and what was once pure and white is now sullied. Some things must be kept apart, some things put together, and you always … Continue reading →

Posted in exes, reason, love, reality, betrayal, experience, grief, friendship, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, Social anxiety, lesbians, socializing, growth, EMOTIONS, frustration, sadness, Human Nature, anxiety, angst, courage, depression, hope, truth, despair, loneliness, celibacy, dating, Kelli Jae Baeli, guilt, intimacy, desperation, music, stress, honesty, women, sensitivity, PSYCHOLOGY, Jonatha Brooke, life, girlfriends, happiness, SEXUALITY, lies, RELATIONSHIPS, harsh realities, meaning, Social Psychology, disillusionment, conflict, communication, fear, ENTERTAINMENT, self-respect, Behavior, self-awareness, romance, PHILOSOPHY, anger | Leave a reply

Positive Anchoring, Honesty & Humor

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 22, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 11, 2013

Sometimes we have to come up with clever solutions to problems. Three of my most cherished and successful coping skills have been Positive Anchoring, honesty and humor. One of the situations that is particularly challenging is being nervous in social situations. For an HSP, it’s doubly hard and it happens far more often. We often find ourselves overwhelmed by that date we have with someone we’re attracted to. We can spoil an entire evening with the handwringing and insecure self-talk going on in our heads. We can spill our drinks, say something insipid or insulting, or just panic, make up … Continue reading →

Posted in HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), RELATIONSHIPS, quirks, sensitivity, PSYCHOLOGY, panic, DRUGS, Xanax, Social anxiety, Social Psychology, honesty, PHILOSOPHY, self-awareness, EMOTIONS, anxiety, coping skills, Sensory Processing Sensitivity | Tagged performing, performance anxiety, insecurity, Positive Anchoring, dry erase board | 2 Replies

Agnosco veteris vestigia flammae–I feel once more the scars of the old flame…

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 13, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

Most things for me, now, are in the context of being an HSP. My Sensory Processing Sensitivity is a brain architecture that will never change. It is part of me as much as DNA or eye color or ethnic origins. I know that one of my main weaknesses in this life, is that I don’t do well as a single person, and by extension, I don’t do well sexless. Those needs get in the way of my common sense in evaluating the character of some women. So I have been so bold as to place ads on adult sites, seeking … Continue reading →

Posted in Social Psychology, sex, Colorado, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, RELATIONSHIPS, socializing, lesbians, triggers, romance, midlife crisis, love, anxiety, friendship, Depressive Realism, angst, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, depression, loneliness, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), dating, desperation, intimacy, stress, PSYCHOLOGY, SEXUALITY, life, self-awareness | Leave a reply

Too Much World: A Look at Highly Sensitive People

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on November 7, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 30, 2013

In an article in Psychology Today,* I again found comfort in the knowledge that there are others like me out there, and my particular brand of weirdness is not “damage” but an inherent brain architecture I am born with. Just like others are born with blue eyes or musical ability.I speak of those in our species who live with Sensory Processing Sensitivity, which is the scientific term for this trait. More colloquially, it is known as HSP- Highly Sensitive Person, a collection of traits that was identified in pioneering research by Elaine Aron, PhD. Regarding the nature of HSP’s, Aron … Continue reading →

Posted in Social Psychology, desperation, PHILOSOPHY, PSYCHOLOGY, Arts, intelligence, disability, BRAIN, depression, self-awareness, Sociology, stress, anxiety, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, experience, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, EMOTIONS, Human Nature, fear, open relationships, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), angst, sensitivity, CREATIVITY | Tagged intraversion, introversion | Leave a reply

Mid-Life Crisis, Much?

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on October 9, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. ~Dylan Thomas If aging is hard for the average person, imagine how hard it is for someone who has no current social circle, no family, no children, who works at home, is an HSP, an atheist, and a single lesbian. The greatest of these challenges is, for me, being without a partner. I am not suited to singlehood. I hate everything about it. I need someone to cook dinner for when she comes home … Continue reading →

Posted in anxiety, lesbians, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, change, despair, Human Nature, EMOTIONS, disillusionment, Depressive Realism, truth, sadness, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), meaning, mortality, frustration, SEXUALITY, fear, harsh realities, Aging, Social Psychology, romance, death, depression, PHILOSOPHY, angst, life, reality, loneliness, self-awareness, RELATIONSHIPS, ATHEISM, desperation, crisis, problem-solving, PSYCHOLOGY, midlife crisis, experience, Sociology, HEALTH | Tagged maturity, getting old | 2 Replies

Regrettable Profile of the Day: "In My Late Fourty"

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on May 31, 2011 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

This is an actual profile on a dating site for LESBIANS.  My self-summary IM IN MY LATE FOURTY I HAVE BLUE EYES 6 FOOT AND WAS MARRIED FOR 13 YEARS AND LOST MY SPOUSE IN 09 AND IM EASY GOING WOMAN LOOKING FOR A FRIEND FIRST AND THEN A LONG TERM RELACTION SHIPAND HAVE NOT BEEN WITH ANYONE IN OVER ABOUT 2 YEARS AND LOVE TO GET OUT AND START DATING AND ENJOY MY NEW LIFE AND SEE WHAT PATH IM ON AND LOOKING FOR A SWEETMAN AND LAID BACK I LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC AND I LIKE PRO FOOTBALL BRONCOS … Continue reading →

Posted in CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, life, self-awareness, EMOTIONS, WRITING CRAFT, ignorance, personal ads, RELATIONSHIPS, profiles, spelling, quirks, diction, lesbians, bad writing, Internet, SEXUALITY, PSYCHOLOGY, Social Psychology, annoying people, ENTERTAINMENT, disillusionment, BRAIN, HUMOR, Stupidity, Sociology, dating, harsh realities | Leave a reply

Turn, Turn, Turn

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on July 21, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 6, 2013

{reposted from Facebook} I just had a really unsettling experience. I’m trying right now to just calm my thumping heart, and take a breath. One thing that is no secret about me, is that I don’t have many secrets. I am pretty open. I have to be, because I am a creative person who produces creative material. But I don’t pretend that I’m so special that i don’t have a day to day life with day to day struggles and victories that i wish to share with those in my life. Nor do I pretend that human nature is always … Continue reading →

Posted in Sensory Processing Sensitivity, exes, sadness, frustration, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), Human Nature, TIME, nostalgia, sensitivity, friendship, honesty, stress, Social Psychology, angst, harsh realities, life, PHILOSOPHY, PSYCHOLOGY, self-awareness, rudeness, Sociology, annoying people, pariah, RELATIONSHIPS, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, self-respect, triggers, conflict, EMOTIONS, anger, Facebook, Behavior, music, betrayal, quirks, society, anxiety, past, ethics | Tagged secrets | 27 Replies

On the Heels of…

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on June 20, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 5, 2013

  I had a marathon conversation last night with an ex from 10 years ago; and reconnected with her (Terra), via something she came across in my blog. The last half of the conversation created a feeling of great discomfort for me–both then, and this morning. My dreams were filled with people from the past, and anxiety tinted the start of my day. I was aware that in this phone conversation, I had slipped back into old habits and patterns of response and emotion. Our conversation was triggering me like a pack of firecrackers. She is, at the moment, inextricably … Continue reading →

Posted in betrayal, music, Aging, novelist, angst, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), sadness, depression, herniated disc, loneliness, SEXUALITY, disability, stress, injury, PSYCHOLOGY, Social Psychology, songwriter, life, triggers, HEALTH, RELIGION, writer, RELATIONSHIPS, Relocation, annoying people, The Cognitive Dissonance of a God Cosmology, harsh realities, fatigue, TRAVEL, change, Sociology, self-awareness, conflict, BOOKS, disillusionment, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, memories, problem-solving, midlife crisis, self-respect, EMOTIONS, moving, exes, anxiety, conversation, Denver, Colorado, lesbians, Depressive Realism, anger, sacrifice, frustration, Supernatural Hypocrisy, Driving, Sensory Processing Sensitivity | 4 Replies

Ditto

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on February 20, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 3, 2013

The word “Ditto” means another of the same, a duplicate, a copy. What I have been experiencing here, with people, is ditto. Just when I might feel my faith in people resurrecting, a little ditto happens and that faith is relegated to ashes again. Is everyone a ditto? I can’t possibly be the only one who feels this way, so why can’t I ever find those people? And why can’t one of them be my partner so that I can stop stumbling over the corpses of my own discontent? Writing can be solitary, and writing can be thankless. Real writers … Continue reading →

Posted in HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP), PTSD, writer, sensitivity, lesbians, honesty, WRITING, Human Nature, harsh realities, SEXUALITY, women, communication, frustration, Social Psychology, Internet Dating, self-awareness, dating, PHILOSOPHY, romance, socializing, stress, BRAIN, angst, rudeness, Sociology, PSYCHOLOGY, RELATIONSHIPS, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, annoying people, anxiety, conflict, EMOTIONS, disillusionment, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, Behavior, ethics | Tagged ditto, nightmare dates | 7 Replies

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Quotes from Kelli Jae Baeli

"You can bail water 24/7, and no matter how good you are at not sinking, you still have a hole in your boat."

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"People feel removed from sexism. 'I'm not a sexist, but I'm not a feminist.' They think there's this fuzzy middle ground. There's no fuzzy middle ground. You either believe that women are people or you don't. It's that simple." (Joss Whedon)

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  • Neil deGrasse Tyson Lists 8 (Free) Books Every Intelligent Person Should Read
  • Real Reason Authors Don't Talk About Money: My Amazon bestseller made me nothing
  • The Art of Reading on a Screen: Why You Won't Probably Won't Read This Article Properly
  • The Case for Obama: Why He Is a Great President. Yes, Great.
  • The Truth about Splenda
  • Underwater space station

Sites I Savor

  • A SOFT MURMUR
  • Ars technica
  • Atlas Obscura
  • Backwoods Home Magazine
  • BBC Future
  • BBC-Science & Nature
  • Big Think
  • Brain Builder
  • Cracked
  • Enchanted Mind
  • Futurism
  • Gizmodo
  • http://lifehacker.com/
  • imgur
  • Instuctables
  • JWManus-Custom Book Production for Indie Authors
  • Last FM
  • Literary Hub
  • LiveScience
  • Mental Floss
  • Mercola
  • Mix
  • Mother Nature Network
  • MSNBC
  • National Geographic
  • NPR Science
  • Pacific Standard
  • Philosophy Forums
  • Poe's Eureka
  • Rachel Maddow
  • Science Daily
  • Scientific American
  • Sharp Brains
  • Slashdot- News for Nerds
  • Slate Magazine
  • Smithsonian
  • The Guardian-Science
  • The Highly Sensitive Person
  • The Oatmeal
  • The Onion
  • The Secular Web
  • The Straight Dope
  • The Toast
  • The Verge
  • Today I Found Out
  • Vox
  • Wait But Why
  • Washington Post
  • xkcd

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