Category Archives: sensitivity

A Series of Things:
What I'm doing, not doing, and hoping to do

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Series writing has been a thorn in my side. I know the consensus is that books do better as a part of a series, but when you’re an Indie Author and Publisher with no employees, choices must be made. I don’t feel I can keep up anymore with my series, nor do I want to. I also don’t like feeling obligated to write something. I’d rather write what inspires me at any given moment. With this in mind, my intentions are to do one more book in each of my series: #3 in New Harbor Witches #4 in Rain Falls … Continue reading →

Furiously Happy:
My brain hungered for humor. Was absolutely famished for fun.

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

I am very picky about the books I read, and it’s hard to find anything that doesn’t either piss me off or bore me. That might just be a product of having been an Indie Author, honing her craft for 30 years, or maybe it’s just me being too damn critical. But I never had problems in my younger years. Like say, my twenties and before. But then, I didn’t write my first book until I was 26. So maybe it really is that being an author affects my ability to enjoy reading other authors that aren’t top-notch. Garbage in, … Continue reading →

Rocking the Boat

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Don’t say anything. Don’t make a comment. It will make you look bad. That’s the usual advice in the publishing industry when someone posts a caustic review of your book, under the assumption that this is about some type of insecurity on the part of a writer. This is not insecurity. It is frustration, and in this case, it’s also outrage. In fact, historically, authors are expected to keep their mouth shut about these things, but I am a proponent of the adage Silence equals Death. This advice to stay mum strikes me as the same mentality that got that Orange Nightmare in the Oval … Continue reading →

Giving it Away: Spoilers as Both Noun & Accusation

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Directly out of the chute, let me say this is coming from myself as both a writer and a reader. One compelling reason (among others) that I became an author, was due to my disappointment in the offerings of a certain genre. I wanted to write books *I* would want to read. I launched myself into this vocation with little knowledge of what that decision would bring. I had no way of knowing the degree of vulnerability that publishing my writing would entail. Publishing a book is very much like being naked in public. So it’s difficult not to take … Continue reading →

Reproach Beyond a Dog (poem)

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

(I wrote this poem years ago, but now understand even more why this issue is such a big deal for me. As an HSP, certain stimuli is maddening to me, and the barking of a dog is probably the number one thing that will drive me insane…anyway, that issue was the inspiration for this poem. P.S. no animals were harmed in the making of this poem). from Yin & Yang: Poetry & Lyrics From Both Sides of my Disposition   Reproach Beyond A Dog A soothing ritual, nightly enacted; a process habitual, rightly exacted: book on her chest, rum tea … Continue reading →

Word Count & a Teeming Brain

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

One writer mentioned on her blog that she hates it when other writers have word count widgets on their blogs. It was as if they were showing off how much writing they got done. She didn’t do word counts herself because there were times when she took writing out and replaced it, and then the word count stayed the same even though she might have had a perfectly good day’s writing under her literary belt. I have word count meters on my blog, but not for the reasons the aforementioned writer says. I have a word count meter because first, … Continue reading →

Stupid, Honorable, High-Road Seeking Fool

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

In a post from a few years ago (two posts, actually, under Going to Denver Because You’re Dead) I chronicled this transition of moving to Colorado to start a new life; again reinventing myself, with the hope of somehow finding my new place in this ever-changing, ever-challenging world.  I got rid of three-quarters of everything i owned, packed a U-Haul trailer behind my Cherryot, and off I went. A journey that lasted 30 hours on many days of little sleep. By the time I arrived in Denver, i was exhausted, lost, and had this sensation of being on another planet. … Continue reading →

The Fourth Betrayal

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

NOTE: So, in my seeking help when i needed it, for my recent betrayals and abandonments, the counselor i went to see called the next day to inform me she couldn’t see me anymore and for a really stupid reason. I tried to reason with her on the phone, but she had to stand by what she felt was her principals, but which was only LOFTY IDEAS getting in the way of her ability to give the actual care she had sworn to as a medical professional. Finally frustrated beyond words and feeling even worse, i hung up on her. … Continue reading →

Creativity, Intelligence & Depressive Realism

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

From a Facebook post I made, a thought-provoking subject emerged. Jae Baeli : “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” ~ Ernest Hemingway Tina Harada likes this. Amanda Gulledge I frowned when I read that so I would feel more intelligent. Candace Lynn Breaux Is that why I am unhappy so much of the time? LOL Jae Baeli LOL. Amanda–you crack me up. Candy–probably, yes. Victoria Bard love it…so true! Sandi Partee hmmm…so does that mean I’m not intelligent? Cause I’m happy as a lark! LOL! I understand Sandi’s reply was meant lightly, but let me just … Continue reading →

Why not Me?

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Pulitzer and Nobel Prize-winning author, Pearl S. Buck  said, “A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create~ so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off…They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency … Continue reading →

Letter to a Battered Heart

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Open letter to a friend whose heart is battered…. I remember that you were there for me when I was going through a lot and had no one. So I will do my best to be here for you, now. In this life, you have to separate your mental and emotional things, your habits, your beliefs–like laundry. Whites over there, colors over there, delicates there. You can’t throw them all in together or the colors will bleed and what was once pure and white is now sullied. Some things must be kept apart, some things put together, and you always … Continue reading →

Positive Anchoring, Honesty & Humor

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Sometimes we have to come up with clever solutions to problems. Three of my most cherished and successful coping skills have been Positive Anchoring, honesty and humor. One of the situations that is particularly challenging is being nervous in social situations. For an HSP, it’s doubly hard and it happens far more often. We often find ourselves overwhelmed by that date we have with someone we’re attracted to. We can spoil an entire evening with the handwringing and insecure self-talk going on in our heads. We can spill our drinks, say something insipid or insulting, or just panic, make up … Continue reading →

Too Much World: A Look at Highly Sensitive People

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

In an article in Psychology Today,* I again found comfort in the knowledge that there are others like me out there, and my particular brand of weirdness is not “damage” but an inherent brain architecture I am born with. Just like others are born with blue eyes or musical ability.I speak of those in our species who live with Sensory Processing Sensitivity, which is the scientific term for this trait. More colloquially, it is known as HSP- Highly Sensitive Person, a collection of traits that was identified in pioneering research by Elaine Aron, PhD. Regarding the nature of HSP’s, Aron … Continue reading →

Deerly Beloved

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Things can change in a nano-second. One minute, you’re moving along in your life, perhaps even having a great day and feeling hopeful, and the next, you are reminded of how precarious life can be. Last night Kelly and I had one of those moments. If anything had been slightly different, it’s possible we would not be alive. We had spent the entire weekend enjoying various activities and meals and socializing with friends. We were on our way back from a fly-fishing excursion in Deckers, and moving through the pitch blackness of Highway 85, between Sedalia and Highlands Ranch, near … Continue reading →

Trauma Biscuit

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on by

Discovered that the private garage at my new place is very small. I felt I should maybe fold my side mirrors in, or rub Vaseline on the side of the Cherryot. I did get it pulled in without losing any paint, but hoped I would learn the skill that sardines know. Got everything inside, and discovered that Biscuit was nowhere to be found. I had been so careful. I even closed the garage door after I pulled in, carried her inside, and watched her dart into the apartment to hide, as usual. She has been so traumatized by this. But … Continue reading →