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Kelli Jae Baeli

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Home→Categories SEXUALITY→Sex toys

Category Archives: Sex toys

Inflatable Travel Companion

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 31, 2017 by Kelli Jae BaeliAugust 5, 2017

Most of my adult life, I’ve wanted a full-sized female mannequin posted in my foyer. Not just for comedic value. For practicality. I’m very utilitarian. I figured I could use her to hold the stuff I need by the door. She could wear my hat, hold my keys, my bag, my jacket– either wearing it or draped over one stiff arm. Or I imagined I could just put her in the house somewhere and dress her up in different outfits. Since my wife and I are always talking about our future life on the road in a travel trailer, throwing … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized, HUMOR, quirks, Domestic Trivia, Sex toys, TRAVEL, Operation Homestead | Leave a reply

Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on June 4, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 10, 2013

  [this is a writing exercise I do, wherein I take a list of unrelated subjects and phrases in my files (or through suggestions from readers) and try to connect them in prose…and it’s usually humorous. It also teaches you how to construct segues. The items in this list are, Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys.] so…here we go…. I am a pariah. I know this, though the usual response from my friends to this proclamation is a dismissive, “No you’re not…you’re just rare and wonderful.” Like a good steak. So I’m only good for a food source. One of … Continue reading →

Posted in Sex toys, Monkey, WRITING, ENTERTAINMENT, Sociology, cats, CREATURES, satire, HUMOR, pariah, movies | Tagged polydactyl, opposable thumbs | Leave a reply

Pastor was Moved in Mysterious Ways

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on March 9, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliMarch 7, 2013

Dead Reverend’s Rubber Fetish Autopsy: Pastor found in wet suits after autoerotic mishap OCTOBER 8–An Alabama minister who died in June of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge’s death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, … Continue reading →

Posted in death, Sex toys, SEXUALITY, RELIGION, preacher, atheist humor, CHALLENGES & MISHAPS, sex | Tagged rubber, bondage, pastor, minister, reverend, autoerotica | Leave a reply

Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys

Kelli Jae Baeli Posted on February 21, 2009 by Kelli Jae BaeliFebruary 21, 2009

[this is a writing exercise I do, wherein I take a list of unrelated subjects and phrases in my files (or through suggestions from readers) and try to connect them in prose…and it’s usually humorous. It also teaches you how to construct segues. The items in this list are, Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys.] so…here we go…. I am a pariah. I know this, though the usual response from my friends to this proclamation is a dismissive, “No you’re not…you’re just rare and wonderful.” Like a good steak. So I’m only good for a food source.One of my biggest … Continue reading →

Posted in HUMOR, Village People, pariah, movies, Sex toys | Leave a reply

Quotes from Kelli Jae Baeli

When President Obama leaves office (and Hillary takes the helm, of course) He should write a new book called "The Audacity of Ignorance" wherein he tells about his experience dealing with Republicans.

Politics Quotes

"People feel removed from sexism. 'I'm not a sexist, but I'm not a feminist.' They think there's this fuzzy middle ground. There's no fuzzy middle ground. You either believe that women are people or you don't. It's that simple." (Joss Whedon)

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“The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.” ~Andre Gide

Word of the Day

habituehuh-BICH-oo-ey One who frequents a particular place, especially a place offering a specific pleasurable activity.

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There is not enough love and kindness in the world to give any of it away to imaginary beings. ~ Friederich Nietzsche

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Kelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthorFollow

33 bestsellers/60 books. #LoveAnimals #Treehugger #Democrat #DisabledVeteran #Humanist #Feminist #LGBTQ #cannabis #NoMoreSnowflakes #BLM #MeToo #organic

Kelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor

Retweet on TwitterKelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor Retweeted
KaivanShroffKaivan Shroff@KaivanShroff·

9h

“I am the last thing standing between you and the apocalypse.”

— @HillaryClinton, 2016

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PappinessNick Jack Pappas@Pappiness·

10h

In another timeline, Hillary Clinton wins. Merrick Garland becomes a Justice. RBG retires. Anthony Kennedy doesn't.

There is no Gorsuch. There is no Kavanaugh. There is no Coney Barrett.

These are the consequences of ONE election.

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KelliJaeBaeliKelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor@KelliJaeBaeli·

1h

Pence is a hero for what he did, like I'm a hero for brushing my teeth everyday. #Jan6Hearings

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KelliJaeBaeliKelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor@KelliJaeBaeli·

4h

NEW RELEASE from bestselling, genre-hopping Indie author, Kelli Jae Baeli. In 2054, history teacher Mercy Rocah is sentenced to banishment. What she discovers will make her question everything she thought was true.

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KelliJaeBaeliKelli Jae Baeli©BestsellingGenreHoppingIndieAuthor@KelliJaeBaeli·

5h

NEW RELEASE! Mercy Rocah isn't sorry she killed a man, she's only sorry she couldn't kill him twice. Free download on KU, or buy for temporarily low price of $2.99! #DomesticSuspense #Speculative #LGBTQ #Fiction #NewBook

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