Laugh out loud funny April 22, 2017
Think David Sedaris meets Nora Ephron. It becomes clear, as you read through these pages, that Baeli relies on humor as a survival mechanism.
Contents
A Charmed Life 4
Conversation with my Cat 5
MMA: The Real Deal, though Homoerotic 7
Insomniac’s Lament 13
Me and Food Are Filing for Divorce 15
No More Hall-Decking for You Guys 19
Blog Semantics 21
The Attack of the Wal-Martian 23
Tripod 27
Texting Texting 1, 2, 9…Oops 29
Coffee, Stupidity, Insanity & Germs 31
Birthday Blows 33
A Proper Kiss 35
Coffee Skin 37
My Birthday Legacy Rumination 39
Hissing Madagascar What? 43
Cheap Wine, Twinkies & Chick-O-Sticks 47
Identity Crisis 49
Slippity Doo Dah 51
Zipped Off 55
Caveats & Conclusions for February 57
Mental Biscuit 59
I Love My Shoes 61
Just Bluffing 65
All Ten Fingers 67
The Truth About Cats & Dogs. & Horses. & Mooses. 71
Cold Hands, Warm…Thighs 75
Fleas 77
Found a Peanut 79
The Bitch & Stumble 81
Can’t. Have a Bone in my Shoulder. 83
What Happens When I Leave the House 85
Mad Moments 91
Gun-Toting Sleepy-Head. 93
Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, 95
Beware of Peruvian Fat Smugglers 97
Shopping for Banishment. 99
Gynepsychology. 101
A Few Words On Hackneyed Clichés 103
A Rose by Any Other Color 105
The Truth About Cats and Fire 109
Acrocat Monkey 111
Send Matches or UPS 113
Throwing Bullets 115
Unsocked 117
Wishbonehead. 119
Jae, Walking. 121
Independence Night for Phylum Annelida Luminaria 125
Stick Buggin’ in the Grocery Store. 127
Cherryot Gymnastics. 129
Taboo Endearments 131
Bettered by a Dead Crustacean. 133
With Apologies to Mr. Rogers, 135
Herniated Disco: Quantum Bungee 137
Special Offers – 139 –
About The Author – 141 –
Books by Kelli Jae Baeli – 143 –
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